Hi Chris
What you're facing at the moment sounds so stressful and incredibly upsetting. Do you have a team behind you you can turn to right now for mental health support, people who can suggest which move you make next for the sake of your well being? I think leaving it up to others to decide the step by step process for recovering through a crisis can be the best call sometimes. When all we see are problems, challenges and darkness, it becomes about leaving it up to a group of problem solvers to get us through. As long as they're good problem solvers and not useless or upsetting ones, sometimes they can be exactly the right people to help us reform our mindset and situation.
I found getting back on track isn't necessarily all unicorns and rainbows, where things suddenly appear bright and happy. Sometimes it can simply be about things not being as incredibly dark and hopeless. At those times there can be just enough light to make some sense of things. It can kind of go from fully believing in what everyone says about us (all the dark, depressing and negative stuff) to the kind of mindset that, with a little light, dictates something like 'I'm facing depression. I've faced depressing periods many times and have managed those periods many times. I've managed to solve problems many times. I've managed to make better sense of things and better sense of myself many times. I've managed to change my perspective many times. This proves I'm a manager, who is currently in an incredibly dark place'.
Had a couple of incredibly dark days, yesterday and the day before. I know I'm in a depression right now and I'm waiting for my brother to return from his overseas trip to help me plan the best course of action for making my way through the factors that are challenging me at this stage of my life. He's an inspiring visionary and a man with a plan for just about any situation. I've learned over time that while I can manage overall depressing periods in my life, I cannot always trust my mind when I'm in the darkest parts of a depression. It dictates stuff that's just not true. The absolute truth is we're not bad people Chris. We're not hopeless or useless and we're worth far more effort that what others are willing to put in at times. That, my friend, is the absolute truth.
