Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Do you have a safety plan?

replies: 94

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section

replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

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Am I suicidal?

replies: 6

Hi, Lately, I have just been hating life. I guess that I have got to the point where it I want the pain to end, but I don't want to kill myself, I just want it to be over, if this makes sense. Most of the time I feel hopeless, and am losing enjoyment in things that I used to love. I often feel that I am just letting everyone down, and that no one would actually care if one day I just didn't wake up. I am confused that this may mean that I am suicidal. I have anxiety and depression and a couple of phobias, which make it really hard to live my life. I feel like there is kind off no point keeping on going, like I have no future and am not going anywhere in life. School at the moment is really bad, and it is making me feel worse about myself. There are days when I just spiral into despair, feel like this is never going to end. My parents try to help, but most of the time I just feel alone as they don't really understand what I am going through. To be honest, I don't understand what I am going through either. Thanks for reading this 400MRUNNER

Never been so lost (content warning: distressing themes)

replies: 24

I have been through a lot over the last couple of years and I don’t know how much more I can take. It all started ok and then over time my 25 yr marriage began to break down. One issue was I was never violent or confrontational which led to my ex making me argue and talk. Over time I focussed on the negatives including seemingly not being able to do anything right. Intimacy was lost barring maybe once a year or so. She told me she had no feelings down there after the children and didn’t enjoy it and I believed her and wasn’t one to push things. I then found a large stash of sex toys which when I questioned her she claimed they weren’t for personal use which I know is a lie. I also found a sticky note stuck to a toy with a work directors number on it that I never questioned her about. She also said something in bed which I never disclosed to anyone but wasn’t good. I turned to online porn and chatting to others. I went through the unexpected loss of my sister and a few weeks later lost my mum to dementia. My daughter announced on social media she was transgender and there were many other things happening at the time. I then did something that appals me to this day and others may feel that I don’t deserve to live. I have spent time in prison, thousands in counseling and a program I chose to do on the outside to help understand and prevent this happening again especially given my own experiences of abuse which some don’t believe happened. I feel like no matter what I do I will never be able to make amends. I recently was terminated from my dream job just because of rumours. I had started a new relationship 5 months ago and disclosed this to the lady I was seeing a few weeks in when it became obvious we were really enjoying each other’s company and things were moving forward. It was a difficult conversation to have but I didn’t want to hide it. The relationship was on and off for 5 months and despite her saying she would support me and saw me for who I was not what I did I don’t think she ever stopped worrying about what others would think if they found out and it has now ended. not enough room for everything but I feel worthless and world is better without out me and no one love me

No help for the desperate

replies: 22

Hi, i realise this wont be posted straight away, im on hold to beyong blue trying to talk to somone, its been over 26 mins now, no time at all in other matters, i tried the mental health line and and lifeline first but couldnt wait past the 20 minute mark. Im still on hold to BB because i dont know what else to do. I know it will most lijely be too late to get help here but i have to try, as a last resort. My mood is extremely agistated. Over the top. 10/10 extreme. Things ive tried to calm down. ice water bath, really hot bath, bare feet outside in shorts and singlet, lavender oil, cups of chamomile tea, valarian, pacing and insividual muscle relaxation. thai chi and breathing techniqyes got a look in too but just made me more aggitated. this is sooo aweful. Does anyone have the faintest clue how to relax when this agitated? please

Sky high and saddened completely

replies: 3

Hi everyone, I’m looking for someone who understands. Who gets the roller coaster. In the same day or moment I can be depressed and hypo, focused and overwhelmed, feel included and like an alien… all whilst being gripped by anxiety. I have ptsd, bipolar and gad and am on the autism and gender spectrum. It’s so intense and it changes extremely quickly or is happening at the same time. I keep saying it drives me nuts, that’s the word I’ve chosen, no offence meant to anyone. I don’t have another way to describe it. It drives me nuts and then I have these flashes of peaceful empty fields or sky or trees that I just want to be part of. It’s the best and the worst time of my life. Sky high and saddened completely.

I’m depressed

replies: 4

I suffer from mental health I drink I have emotions I have no family friends im gonna spend my life alone I’m not like everyone else I feel bad about myself and I’m depressed because of it im not interested in changing sober up to what sit alone in t... View more

So alone but no one knows

replies: 4

I have feelings of self-harming. I don't know why. I am normally logical, and scientific. I have people who care about me - i think.... but I could never tell them about these thoughts. They expect more of me? I just feel so alone. Why do I think lik... View more

Suicidal but not suffering.

replies: 6

Hi, Just wanted to jump on here and explain where I am at. At the moment I have extreme ideation, but I don’t necessarily feel sad or depressed. I have the best job, I honestly love it. My family is amazing. I can enjoy my day, smile and laugh; and I even feel like I have things to contribute. I see value in my work and in my family life, but I still want to die. I know it’s a common saying that people don’t really want to die, they just want their suffering to end; but I don’t feel as though I’m suffering, I feel like the same way that people don’t like cats, some people don’t like life. I absolutely know the devastation that my death would cause. I know that people care about me, I know I’m loved, I know that I have things to offer the world; so I am very confused about why I am feeling the way that I am. just wonder if anyone can relate or share their perspective of what’s happening for me right now. Much love x

I think I should be in hospital...

replies: 9

I've had depression for as long as I can remember, and have had suicidal and intrusive thoughts for about the past 4 years. But lately.. it's getting to the point where it is all I can think about. I don't know where this intense feeling has come from, or why it's gotten so bad, and honestly I'm terrified. These thoughts are interrupting everything; I can't sleep, I have little appetite, I can't focus at work or during my studies. I've been seriously considering admitting myself into a hospital - but I just can't bring myself to do it. I was taken to hospital for a similar thing just under a year ago.. but the difference was, someone took me basically against my will. The whole time I was there, I felt like I shouldn't have been. I felt as though I wasn't sick enough to be there - that I was taking valuable time away from other patients for something really pathetic. I just have no idea what else to do, can someone please help me, it feels like I'm drowning

There must be a restart button somewhere

replies: 2

It's impossible that we get to play this one time and gotta live with how things played out in the first attempt. Why can't I just start things over? I've observed how life works now and will know better next time. Really, why isn't there a second ch... View more

I’m tired of the fighting the voice inside of my head everyday

replies: 1

It’s been almost 3 years since the break up of me and my partner of 5 years. We were childhood friends whose families knew each other. We drifted apart for about a decades before finding each other again and it all just clicked. It really felt like it was meant to be. It was love at first sight. She was everything I wanted in a girl. Beautiful, Smart, funny, caring, empathetic. She’s a teacher who goes above and beyond for her students and even more so for those closest to her. I had everything going for me until I messed it all up by cheating on her with a fling from my past. I had on and off again formed an emotional attachment to this other woman who I had no feelings for, but because of my intimacy desire I kept gravitating back towards her. She was my first, the one I lost my virginity to so in a strange way I sort of felt indebted to her in some way. Sired if you will. We never did anything or met up. We talked openly and freely about intimacy topics, we reminisced about our times together and how we wished for a threesome someway somehow. My then partner had caught me in my lies and went through my entire message history with her. To say it devastated her was an understatement. The wool had been pulled away from her eyes. To her I was no longer the loving boyfriend but the man who had broken her heart after she had let down her walls. The man who had betrayed her trust and took her for granted. I will never forget the pain and anguish that I saw in her eyes that night. It still haunts me till this day. Everyday I wake up filled with regret that I hurt such an innocent, decent person who loved me unconditionally. I think about her all day and night, I think about how much I miss her and still love her to the point where my chest feels like it’s about to cave in. I’m so angry and torn that I could do such a thing to someone that I still love so much. I’ve never felt such long lasting pain in my life. Knowing that she’ll never take me back. Knowing that I got to live the rest of my life without her. She’s left such a mark on my heart that it feels impossible to let go. That’s why I cling onto this pain as a way to remind me of her even though it’s eating away at my soul. I’ve been to therapy and from what I can discern is that my need to seek that extra love and attention stems from my father walking away from me at a young age. It’s manifested into my desires in trying to find that love which is twisted when I think about it.

Do you have a safety plan? replies: 94

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section replies: 0

Am I suicidal? replies: 6

Never been so lost (content warning: distressing themes) replies: 24

No help for the desperate replies: 22

Sky high and saddened completely replies: 3

I’m depressed replies: 4

So alone but no one knows replies: 4

Suicidal but not suffering. replies: 6

I think I should be in hospital... replies: 9

There must be a restart button somewhere replies: 2

I’m tired of the fighting the voice inside of my head everyday replies: 1