I find it weird that not everyone thinks about killing themself

[greenleaf_mabz]

It doesn’t make sense to me how some ppl just don’t think about killing themself. Like I’ve felt like this since I was 9. I started self harming when I was 9. My first attempt was when I was 12, waking up the next morning made my heart sink. I’m jealous of the ppl how don’t feel the way I feel

[Sophie_M]

Dear greenleaf_mabz

Thank you for posting on the forum tonight. We can hear how hard and incredibly painful, dark and lonely it has been for you, and we want to acknowledge your strength in reaching out to share on the forum tonight. We want you to know that we are always here for you, and that this is something you can definitely talk to our counsellors about (P.s. we've sent you a private response to check in with you tonight, so please check your private email inbox).

We can be contacted at any time (24/7) via phone on 1300 22 4636, or perhaps you may prefer contacting us via webchat  if you prefer to chat via text...All calls and chats are one-on-one with a trained mental health professional and completely confidential.

Some other really helpful numbers you may like to consider are:

* Lifeline 13 11 14 (they also have a text chat option) 24/7; and the 
* Suicide call back service 1300 659 467 (24/7)
* Our friends at Kids Helpline are also a great option for support. You can contact them here at 1800 55 1800 or on their webchat here - Both services are 24/7.

PLEASE NOTE: Always remember to call 000 (triple zero), or take yourself to your nearest hospital emergency department if you are ever in immediate danger to yourself.

We also have a suicide safety planning app called "Beyond Now" that is helpful for times such as these. Please have a look at it here. Research shows that having plans such as these can be very helpful.

We look forward to hearing what our beautiful community have to say to you - we're sure they'll be dropping by to chat with you soon.

Warm Regards,

Sophie M

[Bob_22]

Hi greenleaf_mabz,

Welcome to the forums and thank you for reaching out. Whilst it is not common to feel suicidal the majority of the time you are definitely not alone. As Sophie outlined, there is help available and you certainly don't have to feel the way you do forever. Did you end up having a chat with one of the beyond blue counsellors? I think it would be great if you could have a chat and you could then start to get some ideas of how to start the recovery journey.  

I certainly spent a large period of my life not wanting to live (not actively suicidal though). It took a while but I learned that there was a better way of living which you can achieve as well. It just takes the right help from the right people along with therapy and medication if necessary. 

Definitely keep us updated and it would be great if you could share more of your story. I'd love to hear it!

Bob