Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Do you have a safety plan?

replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section

replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

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Struggling with suicidal ideation

replies: 4

Heyya everyone. So lately really struggling with suicidal ideation and thoughts. I have a plan and can get rid of it but has become a security blanket for me. I know I can be better. I have been better. my strategies aren't working as well as I hoped they would. My meds aren't working as well as they should be but keeping up with them. Usually I stop taking them but a part of me is fighting these thoughts. Idk what to do. I have texted my psychiatrist nurse this morning but probably won't hear from her for another 2 days

Depression kicking my butt... can't get joy from anything

replies: 12

I'm over 30 and just don't have any motivation anymore for anything. Nothing excited me about the future.I have a partner who I love very much but is also just stressing about work all the time and going through his own problems.He's strong though and not a very easily emotional person, so I think maybe he's better off finding someone else.I just can't see myself wanting to be around anybody anymore, only my cats. Animals have always been there for me: my parents tried but I was too "different" they couldn't connect with me. Also at school I was bullied and never had any friends. I mean people always still invite me to parties but never anything personal really. I tried making a friend who I though we got along perfectly but then she said she was getting busy with work and I never heard from her again. I guess people just get bored of me and I don't hate them for it , I have just accepted they will be happier with people in similar personalities etc... I wanted to do a course in vet nursing, but even in the past it was a struggle as I was studying "at my own pace" but still had to hand in assignments on a due date. Supervising nurses could never keep to it as I was only a volunteer, why put in effort to train me ? Corona hit and I had to take a break anyways... Nothing I want out of life, even with hard work is achievable. People are all busy with their own problems and have no idea how to help me. I made an appointment with my psychologist for next week , I had the luxury of taking some days off, which is unfair compared to even my partner who has to work to the bone for his job and things . I guess I'm hoping to find something to want me to carry on, but nothing in this world makes it worth the hard work and stress anymore, I just want to sleep, at least my dreams are nicer most of the time.

Feel that things are getting worse

replies: 1

Hello everyone. It has been a while since I used these forums, I guess I stopped knowing what to say but have found myself back in a mindset where I think making a thread and visiting others is what might help me right now.I feel safe right now, though maybe I was not over Christmas. I live with my family who contribute greatly to depression and other kinds of thoughts. I have been really struggling to eat as well, I guess with how explicit an issue that is right now I am realising that due to health issues since I was born I have maybe never had a healthy relationship with food? I am managing to eat at least once a day, but I worry about it and did go to a care centre at one point because I knew I would not eat at all otherwise.I think I realised where my thinking about self-harm comes from, not sure if that is anything of value but maybe that knowledge will help me find something else to do instead as it seems to be a way of coping with my other pain, though not a healthy one. It does seem to be a different place than suicidal thinking too, which is more a place of hopelessness. Not sure if it is appropriate to go into details of whys so I guess I will leave that there.Things feel hopeless. Someone mentioned that they just kept living in tomorrow and even if things got worse they could derive a morbid humour from that, but... things keep getting worse, I tried to live for tomorrow and now tomorrow makes me nauseous, tomorrow is something I feel I need to avoid. Tomorrow is more abuse, another coping mechanism that stops working, and potentially it is another unsafe day. All I have to look forward to is eventually hearing from my friend again, it has been longer than I would like with no understanding of why they disappeared, but I have to believe that I have that at least because if I start being insecure about them again I have nothing. No reason to keep going. And I feel kind of selfish about that too?This does not feel finished but I guess this is where I am done writing

Finding a purpose

replies: 1

Unsure how these work or what exactly to write. I have recently been struggling with some intense suicidal ideations for the past two months. Usually I have the constant like daily or a few times a week anyway, but these past few months have been worse for some reason and I’m not sure why. I am currently on a range of medications antidepressants, antipsychotics and mood stabilisers as I have suspected bipolar and experience intense hyper mania and depressive episodes. I find lately that even when I’m have a hyper manic episode that I am having suicidal ideations. I don’t have a plan and I wouldn’t act on them however the nature and birth of the thoughts to begin with is scary and I’m unsure whether to seek help professionally or not considering everyone’s holidays. Oh well that’s just life I guess. thank you !!

Just give me a break!

replies: 68

I cant catch a break, it's literally one thing after another and noone understands! Today again I got bad news regarding my health.. I honestly can not win! This life I have is hard, and it's sad, I shouldn't have to suffer. All I ever wanted was to be a mum and now it's like I can't be the mum I wanted and it hurts me.. I know my child can do way better! I love him endlessly

I just want an "End!" I cant continue this game of "LIFE!"

replies: 2

I wrote a post, then worried that the Government might isolate me. Yay. Forum Idea

It’s like I don’t deserve anything

replies: 2

I’m safeI find myself second guessing everything I say or do in my life which leads me into a downward spiral most days. I think of other people first before myself and then feel as though I have let myself down, that’s when the negative thoughts take over and my self esteem drops. It feels like I live in a fantasy world of my own and everyone else is bypassing me, they don’t see or acknowledge me. They know where they are going in life but I don’t. I feel stuck in time. I seek approval from people for everything because I don’t believe in myself and it’s exhausting. I’m a people pleaser. I am constantly trying not to upset people with my words or actions. I have OCD (even writing on this forum has taken me an hour going back over it again and again) I’m worried about what people will think. I’m cautious all the time so as to not say or write the wrong thing to upset anyone or worse to trigger them or make them feel bad. I don’t know why my brain is wired to do this and to give of myself so much and then feel so worthless. Second guessing why I do what I do and say constantly it is debilitating. On the flip side, I have been sober for 19 months. I found drinking was a double edged sword. I loved it, it helped numb the thoughts and feelings but it let my words and actions hurt the people I love. I eventually left my family, felt I wasn’t good enough for them, they deserved better. I felt so unloved and lonely when I was with them but feel lonely without them too. It’s Christmas morning and I just don’t feel very Christmassy. I have more down days than up but I keep going. I like to see people happy and never want anyone to feel the way I do. I meditate only at night time just before bed because it makes me sleepy. I try and surround myself with people who make an effort and reach out to me first, that gives me a sense of belonging. I find it hard to be around loud opinionated people. I take a lot of bad energy from these people and unfortunately internalise it. I have only just started to see a therapist, been once but looking forward to the next visit.. Thank you for this forum but I’m anxious about what I’ve written so far. Whether it makes sense to anyone or not.

Is it ok to pull the pin when there's no dependants?

replies: 2

Hi, as per title, I don't have kids or any kind of dependants, no partner, been floating in and out of struggling with the same old BS for about 25 years and I just don't wanna be here anymore, feel like I'm just waiting for the end regardless of what I do to keep distracted. Time seems to be going faster and faster which is a plus. Have friends, hobbies, work, study part time. But yeah, After all that I still don't want to exist. Family very thinned out across the world and doubt many people would bother turning up to my funeral so it's really no big deal if I just ceased to be, right?

I have a problem with CBT

replies: 16

I have a problem with CBT.CBT is always telling me to reframe my thoughts. Its kind of invalidating and telling me that despite a large amount of evidence to contrary, that I am thinking about situations 'incorrectly.' The truth is; I am more accurate in my thinking than most. The world really has become shit. Capitalism, greed, misogyny and racism have fucked up my life and it's statistically, factually, unlikely to be changing any time soon no matter what mental gymnastics I put myself through. I really am post-menopausal. I really won't have children. My parents and partner will never really understand me. They won't. I know them too well. It is too late to have friends. Yes, it is. They all have children and none of them have time for me. They are actually awkward around me. They live on planet family - which I'm sure has it's complications, I live on planet loneliness and isolation. They are incompatible mindsets. The world really is hurtling towards a climate disaster, an overconsumption disaster and a billionaire-led fascist insanity disaster. I am just living until I die. It will largely be the same. There is literally no point. I am not a theoretical physicist and at this point I think that high level abstract science is the only thing left that will leave me with a sense of awe and mystery and it's probably too late to do anything meaningful in this field. Being intelligent is the only thing I can base my self-esteem on. So therefore, I cannot stand CBT constantly gaslighting me, telling me I'm not able to 'manage my thoughts and emotions' which is a super nice way of saying I am stupid and defective. It then advises me that thinking I am stupid and defective is just further evidence of my stupidity and defectiveness that I need to 'work on'. Super helpful. Not. I did a medical degree. I have evidence of my intellectual intelligence. I have worked in psychiatry with my patients consistently liking me and finding my interactions helpful for them. I therefore have evidence of my emotional intelligence.

Fighting for my dear life

replies: 20

Every waking day is a constant fight with my inner demons... I feel that slowly I'm losing grasp of what reality truly means... The thoughts are like voices in my head telling me and even showing what and how to do it... With each thought comes the urges... They're like a sensation I couldn't explain... The darkness it gives me is undeniable... When will this all end? It's telling me if I want it to end I have to give in and let go... . I have to put an end to all this... Nothing's working so why even bother... I'm exhausted from fighting ..

Do you have a safety plan? replies: 97

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section replies: 0

Struggling with suicidal ideation replies: 4

Depression kicking my butt... can't get joy from anything replies: 12

Feel that things are getting worse replies: 1

Finding a purpose replies: 1

Just give me a break! replies: 68

I just want an "End!" I cant continue this game of "LIFE!" replies: 2

It’s like I don’t deserve anything replies: 2

Is it ok to pull the pin when there's no dependants? replies: 2

I have a problem with CBT replies: 16

Fighting for my dear life replies: 20