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BeyondBlue Welcome to the Suicide and Self-Harm Section
  • replies: 0

Hi there, Welcome to the Suicide and Self-Harm section of the Beyond Blue Forums. Life gets pretty hard sometimes, and many people here on the Forums have had times where they have thought about harming themselves or ending their life. This can be a ... View more

Hi there, Welcome to the Suicide and Self-Harm section of the Beyond Blue Forums. Life gets pretty hard sometimes, and many people here on the Forums have had times where they have thought about harming themselves or ending their life. This can be a deeply distressing experience, and this section is here to support members who have had these experiences. This section is not a crisis support service. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these Forums. Please call: Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467 (24/7) Lifeline on 13 11 14 (24/7) If it is an emergency, contact emergency services on 000. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for support and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of the Forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. If after a period of time you no longer wish others to engage in the discussion you have started, please use the 'Report Post' button and request the discussion be locked to prevent any further replies. Thank you for being here, we're glad you're here. Treat yourself gently as you read through this section. Beyond Blue

Sophie_M Do you have a safety plan?
  • replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts wi... View more

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

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Moonbeamer Body dysmorphia or just plain ugly?
  • replies: 4

The mental health issues I struggle with a many and almost overwhelming and go back to events in the childhood - could not cover it all right here! One of the biggest hurdles for me has been how people regard me, physically.I always seem to repulse p... View more

The mental health issues I struggle with a many and almost overwhelming and go back to events in the childhood - could not cover it all right here! One of the biggest hurdles for me has been how people regard me, physically.I always seem to repulse people. I don't have to open my mouth or do anything to be abused... so from early childhood I realised it was my looks. I was bullied at school for my appearance and weight. I (still, at 50!) struggle with the mental effects of eating disorders, disorders that were NOT treated (except with punishment, humiliation and abuse in the family).The facts say I am ugly.I also know that when I see my reflection I see a monster and I avoid ALL social situations, hardly leaving the house because I just don't want to upset people with my hideousness. I have been abused by blokes (mainly, although women also express their disgust) in public places too many times to remember.So, I am ugly. I also know that my symptoms and experience is related to body dysmorphia and the related issues to the eating disorders I battle. In spite of these experiences and feelings, I have never been formally diagnosed with bd. I suspect that psychiatric professionals see ugly people as unable to also experiencing bd... I mean, such people ARE ugly so the fact they feel monstrous is only natural and not a real psychological problem. Some medical professionals seem to think I'm fishing for compliments. Male practicioners will not tough the issue with a ten foot pole.This stigma is real. I suffer every day - frequently leading to suicidal ideas (and past attempts) and thoughts of mutilation. I may be seen as ugly scum by society - ugly females are absolutely not welcome in this world - so, are these abusers and (what I consider) neglectful professionals right? Are these feelings just the natural and deserving punishment for not being 'easy on the eye', or can an ugly person experience body dysmorphia as much as a normal person?

Katey75 My life is one hurdle after another
  • replies: 4

I'm not sure how much more of my life I can truly take. I'm not exaggerating when I say that nothing goes right for me. Despite my best efforts, and doing my best to be kind, empathetic and generous to others, the world just craps on me time after ti... View more

I'm not sure how much more of my life I can truly take. I'm not exaggerating when I say that nothing goes right for me. Despite my best efforts, and doing my best to be kind, empathetic and generous to others, the world just craps on me time after time. I don't have any money, I don't have a job, and I'm facing homelessness. The only thing worth living for is my daughter. If I didn't have her, I would literally have no reason to be here. I feel like I'm a burden, a drain on everyone else (including my poor daughter), and just useless. This has been my life for years. Nothing changes, nothing improves, it's just one letdown or challenge after another. I had a job - a good job - and because I couldn't live up to the boss's expectations, they let me go. I decided to apply for a government program, and after fighting for my spot I was accepted on the proviso that I have a mentor. I have tried and start my own business, but I have no customers, my mentor has never been in contact with me. I leave messages, I send emails - nothing. Then, last week, I was thrown off the program because of "non-participation" and because I hadn't managed to reach my goals (get customers, basically). I tried, I really did, but nothing ever happened. It's like I was invisible. I had to sell my apartment. I started looking for another apartment before I put mine on the market, so I knew there were places out there. My place sold quickly, but for a lot less than I paid, and now I'm desperately looking for a new place, but the real estate agents ignore my calls and emails, my conveyancer does the same, and I don't have access to the money I've made from the sale because it's with the conveyancer. In a couple of weeks I will need to move out, and I have nowhere to go. I just feel like no-one can see me, or hear me. I often wonder if I'm imagining things - like I'm not really here and it's all a dream. But it's not. This is my life. My would I want to live in a world where no-one can see me, or hear me? Where I'm invisible, and hopeless? Why should I keep trying, when it happens to me again and again?

Vil Im not sure what's happening (TW) - pls dont read if triggered by feelings of self harm
  • replies: 3

I am a 22 year old female living with my sister and dog. I've never thought of death as something that I would want to bring upon myself, mostly because I think about everyone around me, especially my dog. I have depression and anxiety, and also undi... View more

I am a 22 year old female living with my sister and dog. I've never thought of death as something that I would want to bring upon myself, mostly because I think about everyone around me, especially my dog. I have depression and anxiety, and also undiagnosed ADHD. I found that I may have ADHD during my therapy sessions and it has only been a couple months since I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. In the recent weeks, I've started to think of death as an option. Like a worst case option. Im in a really bad personal and family financial situation and my parents are going through a divorce. Whenever I think of the worst that could happen, I have started to assure myself that in a worst case scenario, death is an option. I don't even think about my dog when I think these thoughts, despite knowing that I am all my dog has. I have never had these thoughts before. Sure, I have thought about death, but have always brushed it off because I knew it was not an option, but now it's different. I haven't told my psychologist about this because I didn't know how to. But I felt like I had to tell someone about it and get their opinions on whether this is a cause of concern or if this is normal.

Mozaik Anxiety
  • replies: 1

Hello All, I'm 37. I never used to be like this. I never suffered anxiety like this before in my life. It has gotten worse with age. Everyday, I'm anxious about work, social anxiety, anxious about my neighbours, for some strange reason, I've been anx... View more

Hello All, I'm 37. I never used to be like this. I never suffered anxiety like this before in my life. It has gotten worse with age. Everyday, I'm anxious about work, social anxiety, anxious about my neighbours, for some strange reason, I've been anxious that someone is gonna complain against me and sue me, for God knows what. I'm always scared that I'm gonna be in legal trouble for something, even though I'm not doing anything wrong. I literally have no idea how this all started. I did try 2wice in my late teens/early adulthood to suicide, but that was a long time ago. I'll get anxious about tiny things that most people wouldn't even be anxious for. For some reason, I always feel like, or think that people around me are talking about me negatively, and that it's gonna come back on me somehow. I know that I'm not the only one going through this, but most days, I just wanna crawl into a hole somewhere and live away, and live in peace. I am back to suicidal ideation, but at this stage, that's all it is, ideation. I even tell my husband that I'm gonna kill myself, and himself being anxious, it makes his anxiety worse. I literally don't understand how this all started. Sometimes something will trigger me, and I'll start getting anxious, then angry. I feel like this world is too much for me. It really does feel that way. Every day I wake up, hoping something happens to me, but it never does. When I turn on the news, and I see all these tragedies happen, I sometimes ask God why that wasn't me? Why can't God just take me, and give me respite? I even have gone so far as to make a decision, that if I was ever diagnosed with something serious, and life threatening like cancer, I'd just leave it be, and let myself waste away. That's how bad I'm feeling. Sometimes I think about getting mugged and killed, or held up. I always tell myself, that if ever someone pointed a gun at me, or knifed me, I'd put my hands up and tell them to do me the favour, and go ahead. 'take what you want, go ahead, do me a favour, I don't care'. I literally wake up despairing, hating having to go to work, hating everything. I even would go so far, as to hate people. It's just so bizarre behaviour, but it's literally my reality. If someone else could validate what I'm feeling, and tell me I'm not alone, that would be nice to know it's not just me.

white knight Your greatest promise with suicidal thoughts and/or self harm. TRIGGER WARNING
  • replies: 0

Some time ago I wrote about acceptance whether it was our biggest challenge see link. That was in view of accepting our mental health issues, a goal you would want to reach whereby you have all things in place- diagnosis, medication, therapy and life... View more

Some time ago I wrote about acceptance whether it was our biggest challenge see link. That was in view of accepting our mental health issues, a goal you would want to reach whereby you have all things in place- diagnosis, medication, therapy and lifestyle. A point in the process where you are living your life the best you can as functionally as you can, as close to normal as you can get considering that huge hand you've been dealt. Acceptance at this level is great because you have accepted your lack of some capabilities under extreme conditions.. Great! But rarely is it achieved hence the title of the greatest challenge. https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/acceptance-is-this-our-biggest-challenge/td-p/147694 Then there was the theory of switching our mind in thought, to do the opposite of a physical need, like needing to go for a walk and instead we remain lying on the lounge. To do the opposite of what our brain is telling us to do is sometimes beneficial. It takes training, practice and determination, see link. https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/switching-mindsets/td-p/274532 Combine the above together for your greatest challenge- the realisation that you need help with suicidal thought or mental crisis - to not remain in a "it will pass" state of mind... To get help no matter what you are thinking at the time, if you are thinking of or acting out self harm, having suicidal thoughts regardless of what level of seriousness, even if you do not believe you are a threat to yourself WHEN THE TEARS START FALLING COMBINED WITH FEELINGS OF HOPELESSNESS PLEASE SEEK HELP NO MATTER HOW OFTEN. In my experience of hundreds of such episodes I believe all such episodes are a short step from making that one action of attempt, I'm not mincing words, I'm trying to accurately describe the sad, horrifying place that ouR state of mind exists in that zone of depression. Many of you know where that place is. On one occasion only I took it to another level and will never go there again and now I will get help every time, it's my pledge., my promise to myself. Yes, our greatest challenge is very simple. Tell a loved one you feel you are in danger and ask them to contact someone be it suicide watch 131114 Beyondblue 1300 224 636 or ambulance. Or do yourself the best favour ever- contact them yourself and ask for help. I'm up for the promise, let's ride that challenge together. Thoughts? PS please read the first post on each of those links above TonyWK

Anxious- Getting so tired
  • replies: 1

I am so tired of thinking about death & wanting to die. It's exhausting & painful & I am really worried about myself.

I am so tired of thinking about death & wanting to die. It's exhausting & painful & I am really worried about myself.

Unicorn_Kitty Is anyone particularly upset about dealing with ‘cognitive defects’?
  • replies: 6

I have been struggling with cognitive defects throughout my life, such as lack of attention, lack of awareness of surroundings/directions, slow processing speed, forgetfulness, slower learning abilities & poor social skills. I am managing to keep my ... View more

I have been struggling with cognitive defects throughout my life, such as lack of attention, lack of awareness of surroundings/directions, slow processing speed, forgetfulness, slower learning abilities & poor social skills. I am managing to keep my streams of income, and more feedback is good, however a lot of services seem indifferent about whether or not they have me working for them. I’ve been given negative feedback a few times about my lack of interactions and some people seem to have a problem with me not knowing what has been said/shown to me right away or for not remembering. When I’m in a situation where I’m unsure about something or someone points something out to me when I wanted to figure it out in my own time & way, it upsets me tremendously, to the point of feeling worthless, cognitively defective & sometimes to the point of suicidal feelings in which I contemplate the point of existing, why my parents had me, why I wasn’t euthanised or murdered & whether I am a waste of space. These feelings are somewhat temporary & occasional but they can be triggered in similar circumstances. Cognitive defects are the worst of issues I’ve dealt with as they may very well be permanent and they are ongoing and detrimental to my self-worth and happiness. I would like to figure out if these slip ups are typical & whether there is a way to feel better in these moments. Thank you for reading!

redroses can't take it anymore
  • replies: 60

i'm having such a hard time lately. i had some person in the uk who i thought was a good close friend of mine. there were so many red flags that i didn't see - they didn't show me what they looked like & when i politely asked them they kept making ex... View more

i'm having such a hard time lately. i had some person in the uk who i thought was a good close friend of mine. there were so many red flags that i didn't see - they didn't show me what they looked like & when i politely asked them they kept making excuses like "so what if i am an old creepy man, it wouldn't make a difference?" & things like that. i get being insecure but she knew what i looked like. i knew her name & age but that's all. i started talking to her on a blogging website because we both liked rock & metal music, old british sitcoms/comedies etc. she was also a violent person as she told me she's beaten people up before in real life. & she shares what she calls "art" which is violent things of blood, people being hurt etc. i should've cut ties with her then. we had an argument because she told me she was going to be there on a certain day after christmas & then she sends me a message an hour before we talk (used to be 3am for me but then 4am because of daylight savings over there) & her message wasn't even apologetic, it was like she typed up some excuse & copied & pasted it to avoid me. i kept apologising to her & admitting my mistakes, trying to work things out for both of us. i liked talking to her because we had inside jokes, we talked about things in common, we roleplayed which i enjoyed (stuff like fanfiction, so we'd act as the characters in a show we both liked & do romance, funny stuff, drama, etc). it made me happy. she was threatening to me although she can't do anything. i'm so hurt & upset by this & i feel so stupid & regretful that i ever joined & talked to her. i can't afford therapy. idk if my meds are working. i just stay up late & sleep in late & my parents get annoyed with me, i understand why but i don't feel like doing anything like going out of the house anymore, i haven't for months, even when i was on good terms with her. she said good things about me like she doesn't want to lose me but she cut ties with me yesterday saying she wants nothing to do with me. accuses me of stuff i never said & did, calls me a narcissist, manipulative, & other hurtful things. i'm in a group online which is for mental health suffers worldwide of all ages trying to support each other in a friendly environment. but i post & they seem to get ignored, like my comments, even when i put trigger warnings. but everyone else's, even worse posts, get approved. i get they're busy. i get left on read & avoided by everyone. i wish i was never born.

50_shades_of_neurodivergent Partnership challenges
  • replies: 3

I am a married person with a toddler in my early thirties. I have been through mental health issues and this still impacts my family to some extent. I can understand that it must be challenging for my partner too. But I have been hurting a lot recent... View more

I am a married person with a toddler in my early thirties. I have been through mental health issues and this still impacts my family to some extent. I can understand that it must be challenging for my partner too. But I have been hurting a lot recently due to their lack of attention to what I’m constantly going through, lack of proper communication and showing that they care for me. I feel that they try to avoid conversations if it gets to a challenging topic and like to believe that everything will sort itself out. I often feel frustrated trying to explain myself, asserting my emotional needs, and just being heard or seen at times. I have started hating this attachment and how I don’t see an end to this. I have never really attempted suicide, but have felt like I want to stop existing at times which is highly disturbing. I put that in words so my partner might try and reach out a bit more and maybe he does but honestly, it is just getting more and more frustrating. I am so sick of hurting and crying so much and haring myself for not being strong enough or independent enough. I don’t feel like I can explain myself to anyone anymore which is starting to affect my day to day functioning in a subtle manner. I am so torn between emotions and I just want to talk to someone who cares.

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