Is it ok to pull the pin when there's no dependants?

[NatePotate]

Hi, as per title, I don't have kids or any kind of dependants, no partner, been floating in and out of struggling with the same old BS for about 25 years and I just don't wanna be here anymore, feel like I'm just waiting for the end regardless of what I do to keep distracted. Time seems to be going faster and faster which is a plus. Have friends, hobbies, work, study part time. But yeah, After all that I still don't want to exist. Family very thinned out across the world and doubt many people would bother turning up to my funeral so it's really no big deal if I just ceased to be, right?

[Sophie_M]

Hey NatePotate,

Thanks for your openness in sharing here. We’re really glad you could share this, it’s a really brave step to have taken.

We’re reaching out to you privately. In the meantime, we’d really encourage you to give us a call at the Beyond Blue Support Service. We are available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on online chat here.

Another option would be ringing Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467), who can sit with you in these feelings and help you to plan for your safety. The Beyond Blue safety planning app might be worth looking at, too. You can read about how it works and where to download it here. You can even call Lifeline and compete it with one of their counsellors over the phone if you'd like.

We’re sure we’ll hear from some of our lovely community members here on your thread soon. They’re a really amazing community, and will have understanding, advice and kind words for you. 

Kind regards,

Sophie M

[therising]

Hi NatePotate

A reason to live can be a mind altering thing. Not finding it is, without a doubt, one of the most depressing experiences to be faced in life. My heart goes out to you as you face the brutal torment in finding your reason for living.

While many would say our emotions and perspective are entirely our own responsibility, I personally don't fully agree with that. I believe we share partial responsibility when it comes to raising each other. Typically, raising people is referred to when it comes to raising kids. So, a lot of people stop there. They'll raise their kids in some way yet not raise others in the ways they truly need. To raise a person's consciousness, in leading them to see what they long to see, to raise their spirits in order for them to feel themself come to life and to raise someone to know themself in ways that are amazing are factors that are so important. 

Being a 52yo who's asked what would equate to thousands of questions over the years, in the way of addressing, better understanding and in turn managing mental health issues, I've faced some surprising revelations at times. 'It's not my fault' would have to be one of the most surprising and liberating revelations. To offer an example, you could be facing depression for 25 years and it's may have little to do with you. It may reflect the fault in other people's beliefs and actions or inaction. If everyone around you says 'You need to stop being so sensitive, feeling so much and so deeply', this belief/statement has a major fault in it. Your ability to sense where you're at, your sensitivity to it (ability to feel it) will tell you there's something wrong. On closer inspection, what's wrong could involve never having had anyone to help analyse the hell out of life or out of certain deeply depressing challenges. So, it's like you're left facing hell on earth, surrounded by people who won't or can't take you out of it. Even worse is when they all lead you to believe there's something wrong with you.

Another thing I've come to realise over time...it is one thing to be loved and have others declare their love for you, it's quite another to feel love/loved to the point where you feel their words and actions raise you out of hell on earth.