Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

This space discusses suicide and self-harm. Consider limiting the time you spend here. To use the section safely, read the pinned discussion.

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Pinned discussions

Sophie_M Do you have a safety plan?
  • replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts wi... View more

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

Sophie_M PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section
  • replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to h... View more

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. ​This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

All discussions

Gonemad Why does the statement I don’t want to be here anymore cause everyone to panic
  • replies: 6

I’m married, 2 daughters who have bought more issues into life alone, elderly parents and a hubby. All I seem to do is clean, wash, cook, and look after hubby, my now married daughters are out of the house, one doesn’t talk to me at all, the other is... View more

I’m married, 2 daughters who have bought more issues into life alone, elderly parents and a hubby. All I seem to do is clean, wash, cook, and look after hubby, my now married daughters are out of the house, one doesn’t talk to me at all, the other is always analysing me telling me what my real issues ate. ( just as well I have a qualified Dr). Yes I often think there must be more to this life and I don’t want to be here I want laughter fun, friends anything but the same boring mundane things. Daughter wants me hospitalised because I say this. I want life as hard as it can be at times but my fight with depression will not win I’m to stubborn but now I’m to scared to open my mouth for fear of how it’s going to be taken. It’s just getting to hard to work this out. Does anyone have any suggestions.

PocketRocket88 Constantly in this negative train
  • replies: 98

TW Suicidal ideations, urges I honestly don't know where else to get help from... My local hospital seemed to not take the necessary step to help me out with my problem... Whenever I present to their ED they just do all the ED stuff and then just dis... View more

TW Suicidal ideations, urges I honestly don't know where else to get help from... My local hospital seemed to not take the necessary step to help me out with my problem... Whenever I present to their ED they just do all the ED stuff and then just discharges me even when I still pose a risk to myself... I even verbalise to them directly that I am not safe to go home... I feel so rejected and defeated right now... I'm actually afraid to go home nowadays coz of how strong my ideations and urges are lately... Plus how vivid these ideations are... I have community mental health support but I just feel that I'm not supported enough or for them my problem is not as bad as I feel or imagine it to be... I feel like I'm going more mental and that I'm making all these things up... The only way I sort off have to keep myself safe is by either forcing myself to sleep as soon as I get home or if I'm just at home OR I have to keep busy with work (which depends on how much shift they'd give me)... I am trying to take on a new hobby which is bejewelling a portrait of a rose that I bought in Big W the other day... I can only do so much, so what do I do when I ran out of options to distract myself? Or what do I do when I'm so stuck in my head that I can't stop myself from going thru the plan which btw is always in play it's just a matter of trying to put it off every waking day... ive been diagnosed with Borderline personality disorder, depression and anxiety. I was on meds but due to conflicting information between different doctors I decided to stop taking them for months now... Due to a very limited number of psychology sessions under Medicare, I had to spread my appointment very thin specially now that I'm only left with 4-5 sessions for the year... Just got approved for NDIS funding just waiting for the allocation of budget. I have a community mental health support worker that's under my local hospital... Even with all these I still feel unheard, ignored and/or not taken seriously specially when my suicide plan is pretty serious... Also I live alone so if I do anything without telling someone no one would ever know... It scares me a little bit but each time I get rejected and ignored my fear seemed to slowly disappears and I know that one day I won't be scared I. Feeling this way because I feel exhausted

Leica27 Tonight I realised how self-harm had snuck into my thoughts
  • replies: 4

Hi I am safe, and I have a safety plan. I wasn't sure where this belongs, and it took me a lot to post in this forum rather than the more general ones. I'm going through a rough patch again, one of several this year, this one due to relationship issu... View more

Hi I am safe, and I have a safety plan. I wasn't sure where this belongs, and it took me a lot to post in this forum rather than the more general ones. I'm going through a rough patch again, one of several this year, this one due to relationship issues that have broken a fairly good 2 month mental wellness run for me. Many thoughts about that but tonight I was writing some stuff about how to manage my tendency to lash out when triggered. I thought about inflicting pain on myself as a circuit-breaker. I thought about different options, self harming stuff that I could do immediately, and could hide any marks. Earlier today, I was hungry (I hadn't eaten properly because of work and anxiety) and I took some sort of "comfort" in that feeling. Not long after, I thought "wtf has happened to me". I never would have considered this (I barely understood it in others) and I feel quite ashamed and guilty. I have been through some pretty big difficulties in life, and never felt this way (at least as far as I could recognise). I've prided myself in being able to get through tough times, but my self esteem has taken a real hit lately. I feel like I'm in for a bumpy ride for the relationship and I feel I might stay in a bad situation because of my fear of not coping with a break-up. I deleted the thoughts from my writing but felt that I had to put it out somewhere as a reminder that I felt them, and how I dealt with them.

tete Someone to talk to.
  • replies: 15

Hi. I’m new to this and thought I would get on here to see if I could talk to others in my place. I don’t know what to say or how to say it exactly but I will try. It is very hard living with constant thoughts of wanting to end my life. Constantly ho... View more

Hi. I’m new to this and thought I would get on here to see if I could talk to others in my place. I don’t know what to say or how to say it exactly but I will try. It is very hard living with constant thoughts of wanting to end my life. Constantly hoping that there’s an easy way. It’s constant day in day out continuously having to live life and do the things that you have to do but in the back of your mind knowing what you really want to happen. It’s so hard living missrable knowing you have tried everything to change that mind set and it still not working. It’s getting worse as each day goes by. I am constantly telling myself to snap out of it, constantly trying my best to do what I have to do but knowing exactly what I want. I hear people writing you really don’t want to die. Oh but I do and I’m comfortable with it and I don’t think it’s fair that I am forced to have to live with this crap on my mind. There’s a lot more backstory but basically I’m tired of it all and thought I’d express myself on here. Im sorry if it’s all over the place because I think a lot and there’s to much to go over but that’s basically it.Missrable and not fair that it has to be that way. Thank you.

Evanthia Self HaRM and the instability running in my head
  • replies: 1

I am running on fumes right now and the one thing , l want to do is possibly the worst solution ..... I am a person who has self harmed and use the action to feel better and to release the stress inside of me . I am needing meds to keep me asleep bec... View more

I am running on fumes right now and the one thing , l want to do is possibly the worst solution ..... I am a person who has self harmed and use the action to feel better and to release the stress inside of me . I am needing meds to keep me asleep because without them , l go days and weeks without sleep. It is all eating me on the inside and , l am supposed to be ok with everyone and everythig around me. I wonder if its best to go ahead and follow my visions , nightmares or visual disturbances. It seems like a nice day , might go for a walk !!!!!!!

myeoluv What do you call this?
  • replies: 1

Recently for the past year rather than self-harm I'm feeling the opposite but not necessarily in a good way. I have these thoughts of wishing/wanting the rest of the world to go away or more like wanting to be the only inhabitant of this planet as op... View more

Recently for the past year rather than self-harm I'm feeling the opposite but not necessarily in a good way. I have these thoughts of wishing/wanting the rest of the world to go away or more like wanting to be the only inhabitant of this planet as opposed to how you would usually describe self-harm as if it would be me who is "leaving." I don't mean this is in an aggressive way I just feel like my life would be so much better without anyone in it. I'm not really sure there's a term for this or something similar. I don't think I described it well either because it's hard to explain it. I've tried to talk about this to my therapist but I don't think I got my point across.

PocketRocket88 My inner demons are winning
  • replies: 40

TW Suicidal ideations and urges here we are once again, waking up feeling like crap then to have my inner demons shouting like hell inside my head… no one truly understand the feeling that one goes thru in moments like this… so let me tell describe w... View more

TW Suicidal ideations and urges here we are once again, waking up feeling like crap then to have my inner demons shouting like hell inside my head… no one truly understand the feeling that one goes thru in moments like this… so let me tell describe what or how I’m feeling when I’m struggling… More than often it’s starts with feeling anxious upon waking up. When I say anxious, it means im abit on the edge that it’s like there’s an immediate threat towards myself. Some of the time it settles down when I fully wake up which can last upto 2hrs upon waking up. If it doesn’t, then my demons starts waking up. When I say demons, it’s the suicidal ideations in my head. Not long after they wake up comes the urge to act on it… the urge is like an itch or pressure inside me, if you scratch it(act on the thought) I feel some relief but the downside is that if wanna keep doing it just to relieve that pressure. If I don’t act on the thought, they will go for a little bit but comes back 10x worse than the last which means it just keeps building up until I can’t handle it anymore.., and more than often I I’d give in to just feel some relief. Then it start all over again during the day… I can go many cycles (short intervals) in a day but sometimes I only get a few long cycles which is worse than having little ones… I do feel ashamed of what I’m doing to myself specially when people knows about it. Hence I try to keep to myself which then brings the isolation… which leads to loneliness then lead to an attempt… I currently feel that I’m in the brink of really giving in to these demons in my head… work can just keep me safe for 8hrs but after that? It’ll be hard to not act on the urge… I live alone and coz I’ve distanced myself from people including my family , that no one will think or wonder if I’m okay or not. Perfect setting for the ending of a sad story, my story.

Gob Exhausted
  • replies: 3

I've been struggling hard for 4 yrs and things are just getting ridiculous now ,I wake up and my eyes fill with tears my heart feels heavy with pain and sorrow and I feel so tired even though I've had a good night's sleep.more frequently I have thoug... View more

I've been struggling hard for 4 yrs and things are just getting ridiculous now ,I wake up and my eyes fill with tears my heart feels heavy with pain and sorrow and I feel so tired even though I've had a good night's sleep.more frequently I have thoughts of killing myself and how I would do it ,how good it would feel to just breathe out my last breath and be done with it .the suffering I feel is unbearable these days I struggle hard to smile and find hope in that each day im closer to something better.i find myself overwhelmed with intense sadness and desire to just starve to death ,im trying to over come and recover from an ED aswell and its insanely hard .And what makes it worse is that I Can't. I cant kill myself.i can't do that to my family .but then what ? Am I to suffer forever? I pray for others that go through these struggles ,that you will have strength to get through each day.What do i do then ? Im so alone in my life and no one seems to understand, im shut out by ones that I thought would be the only ones to understand.then I turn to substance abuse to softent the voices,and to dull the pain for a short time ..I wish I was what people wanted ..I wish I could be what I wanted ...I'm going insane ,I can't stand it for much longer I feel myself growing weaker every day I feel no hope .im so very alone

tikalouise I’m Tired
  • replies: 2

Some days I feel so suicidal I don’t even feel like leaving a note. I just feel like walking out the door and never coming back. I get annoyed that I’m loved by people cause it forces me to stay.My favourite “oh you should stay”, is thinking about th... View more

Some days I feel so suicidal I don’t even feel like leaving a note. I just feel like walking out the door and never coming back. I get annoyed that I’m loved by people cause it forces me to stay.My favourite “oh you should stay”, is thinking about the reallysmall impact people that you’ve met like if your primary school crush found out, or that teacher who used to think you’d go really far, “she’s really smart she just doesn’t focus” those people who would spend a minute mourning you, the old best friend. One of the 4 boyfriends you’d had growing up. The guy I spoke to yesterday questioning his self worth cause he couldn’t “save me” I also get annoyed thinking I want to go cause I’ve lost people I love in my life and I know they’d take my spot to be here in a heart beat.. how could I possibly be so ungrateful. I also get annoyed that I’ve told so many people I’m sad and they just kinda agree and laugh. has depression become something we talk about at dinner? Maybe that’s not a good thing.. at least not for me. my favourite line from anyone who listens is “wow your so self aware, that’s the first step” Well funny thing is Karen I’ve been self aware my whole depression experiencei know all the problems but somehow 2+2 is still equaling 5. I like to go inside my head and list off all the reasons why I might be like this. - am I too lazy to change - do I find no purpose in life- does nothing excite me I feel like sadness off of inside out but it’s like an embedded sadness like one thats more a personality trait. Like when I get home I get to take off my funny, cool girl suit and turn into jelly. Even when I am ‘myself’ I’m never really ‘myself’ till I’mby myself. Idk if that makes sense I’m so angry tonight cause I had a good day yesterday when I was fully just me and happy and I’m sick of looking back on that one good day I get a month and crying to myself saying, well at least I got that day. what a rip off. Hopefully I never commit suicide, honestly I don’t know with me, they say if you talk about it you won’t do it.I’m just tired and today a little angry.

Centaured The constant struggle.
  • replies: 288

Why do I wake with thoughts of wanting to die...the struggle of the previous day hasn't stopped and it has already started from the moment my eyes open and will last til I close them again and then continue to go on until sleep takes me or I give in.... View more

Why do I wake with thoughts of wanting to die...the struggle of the previous day hasn't stopped and it has already started from the moment my eyes open and will last til I close them again and then continue to go on until sleep takes me or I give in. I have found nothing really seems to give me relief from these thoughts. So what is so bad about my life you may ask. What is so wrong or bad my existence that is the only thing ever in my head. Well nothing really, so I don't know why I want to die. I just do. I just need every to stop. I want the only permanent solution to my life. I'm tired of dealing with this all the time. I'm tired of fighting that person in my head that tells me to do it. I'm just tired.