Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Do you have a safety plan?

replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section

replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

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Botched Surgery

replies: 3

Hi. I have suffered depression for years and have had cancer for the last 7 years. I had surgery on Monday to fix some of the damage done 3 years ago but it has been completely botched and now I feel completely mutilated. I didn't think it was possible to look worse than I did before. Certainly the surgeon never explained how this could all go horribly wrong. Now I am suicidal. I have been crying uncontrollably all week and can't sleep. Obviously I have no intention of going to post surgery follow up appt but am worried about swelling that is happening around wound. I spoke to another surgeon who has been looking after me for the last 7 years but they won't help because they don't want to upset the other doctor's feelings. Dressings are still on. I thought I would feel better once I got over the anaesthetic but now I am really worried about MH. Any response would be appreciated.

Would anyone care?

replies: 11

Hey, my last suicide attempt is over 2 years ago and I’m so frustrated that nothing has changed. I know the world is not just about me, far from it, but I don’t feel I can talk about how I feel, get some supportive words and not get taken away by an ambulance. I still find it incredibly hard to navigate my thoughts and feelings within this world without getting locked up. I still have feelings and I don’t want to be palmed off. It’s all just pretty talk about RUOK and mental health; but nothing changes. I remember when I was close and I felt as abandoned as I did as a child. It makes me incredibly sad and angry because two of my friends lost their lives the year I let attempted.

Suspected sleep apnea is making me consider suicide

replies: 1

It's 3am and I woke up in the middle of the night for the second time in a row these past two days. I'm dead tired, constantly paranoid and nearly just wanna phone it in for this lifetime. And you know what? I feel ashamed for even feeling this way. Everyone else in my family supposedly has it, but I'm the only one struggling with it? How dare I! How dare I leave work early because I could barely stand! How dare I focus on my diet and lifestyle just to function like everyone else! How dare I, how dare I... The sleep clinic is taking forever to get back to me and I'm starting to think I'll never get that sleep study at all. I don't even know if I can afford it if it ever comes in. I've been desperately trying to find solutions to this but I'm just as clueless as I was a year ago, when I nearly completely botched my studies. I desperately want to believe there's hope but I'm finding it harder and harder to believe each night I wake up with a splitting headache or a dry mouth. I have such a clear and beautiful vision for what I want for the future but it just seems more and more like some whimsical fantasy cast up to cope with the life I have now. I don't know what I want to achieve from this post other than catharsis for having written this. I just know if I attempt to post this, I will regret it, if I don't, I'll regret that too! Kill myself and keep going, I will regret both of them. Get the sleep study or not, I will regret either way. This is no longer a matter of logic but faith at this point and it is with faith do I post this.

Approach I’ve found helpful for thoughts of suicide and self-harm

replies: 4

I just wanted to share an approach that’s helped me in recent days in relation to a depression that came over me in recent weeks and involved some thoughts of suicide and self-harm. The depression was linked to a traumatic memory I’ve now been able to identify. Unable to sleep one night I researched online and found the work of Janina Fisher, a psychotherapist who works with clients with complex trauma. Often the part of us that is experiencing thoughts of self-harm or suicide is exactly that, just a part, not the whole of us. But the challenging thing is it can feel like the whole of us. In Janina Fisher’s approach it’s possible to identify individual parts that have split off as a survival response. These parts can be unconscious because of the way traumatic memories are stored. But it’s possible to bring gentle awareness to the part that might be feeling shame, fear etc and realise it’s not the whole self. We can then parent and take care of this part with self-compassion. It can help to do this with a caring therapist who is familiar with the approach. I asked my psychologist if she could do this work with me and we did yesterday, and it enabled me to sense and feel what my child self was feeling and be present with that child self to help them feel safe. It’s transforming the self-attack drive behind impulses towards self-harm and suicidal ideation into caring for that part that split off in the past due to trauma. This allows the part to re-integrate into the whole person in a healthy way. I just wanted to share this in case it helps even one other person. It’s still something I’m working on, but it’s given me an understanding of what’s actually been happening to me and that there’s something I can do about it.

How are you supposed to deal with the now to get to the future when the now sucks

replies: 7

I just hate everything about my life, I’m doing something I’ve always wanted for myself which is studying, yet I still feel empty, unaccomplished .I have no friends, no actual relationships. My “friend” I made since moving away only messages me when she feels like it maybe once a fortnight, dry-like.I just sit here wishing for more, how am I supposed to get to the future if the now is this bad

How to support my daughter?

replies: 1

What should a family do to suppoert an overdose that could have killed a young women?

Why does the statement I don’t want to be here anymore cause everyone to panic

replies: 6

I’m married, 2 daughters who have bought more issues into life alone, elderly parents and a hubby. All I seem to do is clean, wash, cook, and look after hubby, my now married daughters are out of the house, one doesn’t talk to me at all, the other is always analysing me telling me what my real issues ate. ( just as well I have a qualified Dr). Yes I often think there must be more to this life and I don’t want to be here I want laughter fun, friends anything but the same boring mundane things. Daughter wants me hospitalised because I say this. I want life as hard as it can be at times but my fight with depression will not win I’m to stubborn but now I’m to scared to open my mouth for fear of how it’s going to be taken. It’s just getting to hard to work this out. Does anyone have any suggestions.

Constantly in this negative train

replies: 98

TW Suicidal ideations, urges I honestly don't know where else to get help from... My local hospital seemed to not take the necessary step to help me out with my problem... Whenever I present to their ED they just do all the ED stuff and then just discharges me even when I still pose a risk to myself... I even verbalise to them directly that I am not safe to go home... I feel so rejected and defeated right now... I'm actually afraid to go home nowadays coz of how strong my ideations and urges are lately... Plus how vivid these ideations are... I have community mental health support but I just feel that I'm not supported enough or for them my problem is not as bad as I feel or imagine it to be... I feel like I'm going more mental and that I'm making all these things up... The only way I sort off have to keep myself safe is by either forcing myself to sleep as soon as I get home or if I'm just at home OR I have to keep busy with work (which depends on how much shift they'd give me)... I am trying to take on a new hobby which is bejewelling a portrait of a rose that I bought in Big W the other day... I can only do so much, so what do I do when I ran out of options to distract myself? Or what do I do when I'm so stuck in my head that I can't stop myself from going thru the plan which btw is always in play it's just a matter of trying to put it off every waking day... ive been diagnosed with Borderline personality disorder, depression and anxiety. I was on meds but due to conflicting information between different doctors I decided to stop taking them for months now... Due to a very limited number of psychology sessions under Medicare, I had to spread my appointment very thin specially now that I'm only left with 4-5 sessions for the year... Just got approved for NDIS funding just waiting for the allocation of budget. I have a community mental health support worker that's under my local hospital... Even with all these I still feel unheard, ignored and/or not taken seriously specially when my suicide plan is pretty serious... Also I live alone so if I do anything without telling someone no one would ever know... It scares me a little bit but each time I get rejected and ignored my fear seemed to slowly disappears and I know that one day I won't be scared I. Feeling this way because I feel exhausted

Tonight I realised how self-harm had snuck into my thoughts

replies: 4

Hi I am safe, and I have a safety plan. I wasn't sure where this belongs, and it took me a lot to post in this forum rather than the more general ones. I'm going through a rough patch again, one of several this year, this one due to relationship issues that have broken a fairly good 2 month mental wellness run for me. Many thoughts about that but tonight I was writing some stuff about how to manage my tendency to lash out when triggered. I thought about inflicting pain on myself as a circuit-breaker. I thought about different options, self harming stuff that I could do immediately, and could hide any marks. Earlier today, I was hungry (I hadn't eaten properly because of work and anxiety) and I took some sort of "comfort" in that feeling. Not long after, I thought "wtf has happened to me". I never would have considered this (I barely understood it in others) and I feel quite ashamed and guilty. I have been through some pretty big difficulties in life, and never felt this way (at least as far as I could recognise). I've prided myself in being able to get through tough times, but my self esteem has taken a real hit lately. I feel like I'm in for a bumpy ride for the relationship and I feel I might stay in a bad situation because of my fear of not coping with a break-up. I deleted the thoughts from my writing but felt that I had to put it out somewhere as a reminder that I felt them, and how I dealt with them.

Someone to talk to.

replies: 15

Hi. I’m new to this and thought I would get on here to see if I could talk to others in my place. I don’t know what to say or how to say it exactly but I will try. It is very hard living with constant thoughts of wanting to end my life. Constantly hoping that there’s an easy way. It’s constant day in day out continuously having to live life and do the things that you have to do but in the back of your mind knowing what you really want to happen. It’s so hard living missrable knowing you have tried everything to change that mind set and it still not working. It’s getting worse as each day goes by. I am constantly telling myself to snap out of it, constantly trying my best to do what I have to do but knowing exactly what I want. I hear people writing you really don’t want to die. Oh but I do and I’m comfortable with it and I don’t think it’s fair that I am forced to have to live with this crap on my mind. There’s a lot more backstory but basically I’m tired of it all and thought I’d express myself on here. Im sorry if it’s all over the place because I think a lot and there’s to much to go over but that’s basically it.Missrable and not fair that it has to be that way. Thank you.

Do you have a safety plan? replies: 97

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section replies: 0

Botched Surgery replies: 3

Would anyone care? replies: 11

Suspected sleep apnea is making me consider suicide replies: 1

Approach I’ve found helpful for thoughts of suicide and self-harm replies: 4

How are you supposed to deal with the now to get to the future when the now sucks replies: 7

How to support my daughter? replies: 1

Why does the statement I don’t want to be here anymore cause everyone to panic replies: 6

Constantly in this negative train replies: 98

Tonight I realised how self-harm had snuck into my thoughts replies: 4

Someone to talk to. replies: 15