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strong urges

Tamrby
Community Member
i have been clean for almost 2 months now, im super proud of myself, but after not really thinking about it for days I will randomly get really strong urges? AAh i know its probably normal but its really not fun, anyone got any tips to deal with urges?
44 Replies 44

Tamrby
Community Member
I don't know I act different? Even with my friends I feel disconnected. It would be good to just rant about my mother, like how she made a comment along the lines (context: I mentioned my friend going out with the same gender) "there will be no gays in this house" and my dad often using homophobic slurs even though he knows i am gay.

Here2Talk
Community Member
It is okay to be different, as long as you are being yourself - it can be a long road finding out exactly what that is... You can rant here about whatever you want, I’m here to listen to you 🙂 That must be hurtful when you are gay to have your dad insult gay people, and to hear your Mum say that. You say that your Dad knows: do you think your Mum knows as well, or not - is your sexuality something that they both might discuss together? Let me know if this is causing too much distress for you.

Tamrby
Community Member
hello, im really sorry for a very late response, theres alot going on. I'd like to think my dad hasnt said anything as i know my mother would be treating me different if she knew. Right now im not doing too badly, I have had a pretty crappy week and I have stopped going to the counsellor bc she almost messed up my school life, not to mention she broke privacy with me even though I wasn't in any danger, so theres that. Also lately I've been having more and more like? Dissociations? I don't know what you call them, I used to get them every now and again which is fine but now its like almost half the time im with anyone I just can't seem to stay in the conversation, It's not that I can't focus it's just like theres almost like a foggy window infront of me, It tends to happen mainly in big groups and loud functions, It's very odd because its not that im super anxious of anything (although im a worried person ahaha) It just happens. Yeah so with out unpacking my whole life thats whats been happening.

Here2Talk
Community Member

Hi again Tamrby,

Good to hear from you 🙂

It seems like a bit has been happening in your life. Sorry to hear you had an incident with your counselor. It's a code in any kind of health or care or related profession that people report if they reasonably suspect somebody will harm themselves or others; it's fortunate that you weren't in danger, but I guess they didn't know. If you have the motivation to keep writing to me (and want to divulge), how did the counselor cause problems for you in your school life?

The dissociations you speak of are weird, considering that you say you're not super anxious - acute anxiety could maybe make somebody have that kind of thing.. Keep an eye on it I guess, incase it's some kind of medical issue.

Tamrby
Community Member

hey, I know it has been a couple of years. I just wanted to thank you if you are still around here, for supporting me on this forum. I am 18 now and I am starting my nursing degree and I stumbled across these forum posts, so thank you again for giving me a safe place to talk