Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Do you have a safety plan?

replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section

replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

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Getting of the weed

replies: 1

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Do I deserve it or is my mum the asshole

replies: 4

So since about a year and a half ago, I started having a quicker mouth, and it would run at the worst of times but I think I've gotten better with it and I've had fam and friends agree but my mum still says everything I say is extremely rude, or out of line, and if I make a joke about my grandmother, because thats our family, we make fun of each other, she will laugh but usually my grandma will get offended. Then my mum will yell at me for about 10 minutes which I think is unfair, and she always sides with my grandma no matter what. She often tells me to go blank myself, die, or "I hate you" (1st time she said it I was abt 8 and left sobbing in the driveway). I'm extremely quick witted but sarcastic at the same time which gets me into trouble sometimes but its to almost anything I say. No matter what its rude or insincere or disrespectful, or I'm talking like she's a piece of crap on my shoe. Everything I say is in a joking manner but clearly I think my voice sounds like something else because its almost always rude, even though no one else says it. I've given up trying to compliment her or family because it apparently just sound insincere but whenever she asks my opinion and I give my honest answer she yells at me because it was to blunt. I've given up trying to help around the house because I always do it wrong resulting in her screaming at me for ages, and me saying some dumb crap back at her. I've been diagnosed with depression by my GP but they are refusing to give me antidepressants because they say I'm too young (I'm 12) ad they're trying to refer to me a 1000 dollar psyc but ik we can't afford it so I'm making my mum not do it. I think my mum hates me, because she doesn't try to engage in conversation gets pissed if I try and show her a video, doesn't seem interested if I tell her about my life, but then gets mad at me if I don't tell her. So am I rude, and the creep who deserves it because I'm rude or is my mum dramatic/ toxic

Feeling alone

replies: 4

These days life just seems like such a struggle… I’ve been diagnosed with anxiety and depression and cptsd but I also think I could be struggling with ocd too. I have a psychologist who I’v been seeing for about 2 years she’s helpful but I just don’t think therapy is enough support… some days I seriously feel like just dying. If I had the opportunity I will probably take the opportunity to kill myself the only thing stopping me is my family and how much of an effect that would have on them. I’m trying my best to keep my head above water but shits hard. I’m trying to find a psychiatrist but the waiting process is so long I think I have to wait about 3 months and it’s super costly too… I’m a uni student so I’m barely making much either. Also I’ve taken some sick days from work because of my mental health and my manager is beginning to get mad at me… she doesn’t have any context to how I’m feeling so I get that and she needs workers to show up but I can’t rn. I feel like a let the whole team down…. I could bring it up to her but there’s a lot of stigma surrounding mental health so I’m just a bit scared… confused and lost I hope someone can share some words of encouragement

Silence and darkness

replies: 1

I didn't want it to be like this but feeling like this is it for me me and god know the plan

Body dysmorphia or just plain ugly?

replies: 4

The mental health issues I struggle with a many and almost overwhelming and go back to events in the childhood - could not cover it all right here! One of the biggest hurdles for me has been how people regard me, physically.I always seem to repulse people. I don't have to open my mouth or do anything to be abused... so from early childhood I realised it was my looks. I was bullied at school for my appearance and weight. I (still, at 50!) struggle with the mental effects of eating disorders, disorders that were NOT treated (except with punishment, humiliation and abuse in the family).The facts say I am ugly.I also know that when I see my reflection I see a monster and I avoid ALL social situations, hardly leaving the house because I just don't want to upset people with my hideousness. I have been abused by blokes (mainly, although women also express their disgust) in public places too many times to remember.So, I am ugly. I also know that my symptoms and experience is related to body dysmorphia and the related issues to the eating disorders I battle. In spite of these experiences and feelings, I have never been formally diagnosed with bd. I suspect that psychiatric professionals see ugly people as unable to also experiencing bd... I mean, such people ARE ugly so the fact they feel monstrous is only natural and not a real psychological problem. Some medical professionals seem to think I'm fishing for compliments. Male practicioners will not tough the issue with a ten foot pole.This stigma is real. I suffer every day - frequently leading to suicidal ideas (and past attempts) and thoughts of mutilation. I may be seen as ugly scum by society - ugly females are absolutely not welcome in this world - so, are these abusers and (what I consider) neglectful professionals right? Are these feelings just the natural and deserving punishment for not being 'easy on the eye', or can an ugly person experience body dysmorphia as much as a normal person?

My life is one hurdle after another

replies: 4

I'm not sure how much more of my life I can truly take. I'm not exaggerating when I say that nothing goes right for me. Despite my best efforts, and doing my best to be kind, empathetic and generous to others, the world just craps on me time after time. I don't have any money, I don't have a job, and I'm facing homelessness. The only thing worth living for is my daughter. If I didn't have her, I would literally have no reason to be here. I feel like I'm a burden, a drain on everyone else (including my poor daughter), and just useless. This has been my life for years. Nothing changes, nothing improves, it's just one letdown or challenge after another. I had a job - a good job - and because I couldn't live up to the boss's expectations, they let me go. I decided to apply for a government program, and after fighting for my spot I was accepted on the proviso that I have a mentor. I have tried and start my own business, but I have no customers, my mentor has never been in contact with me. I leave messages, I send emails - nothing. Then, last week, I was thrown off the program because of "non-participation" and because I hadn't managed to reach my goals (get customers, basically). I tried, I really did, but nothing ever happened. It's like I was invisible. I had to sell my apartment. I started looking for another apartment before I put mine on the market, so I knew there were places out there. My place sold quickly, but for a lot less than I paid, and now I'm desperately looking for a new place, but the real estate agents ignore my calls and emails, my conveyancer does the same, and I don't have access to the money I've made from the sale because it's with the conveyancer. In a couple of weeks I will need to move out, and I have nowhere to go. I just feel like no-one can see me, or hear me. I often wonder if I'm imagining things - like I'm not really here and it's all a dream. But it's not. This is my life. My would I want to live in a world where no-one can see me, or hear me? Where I'm invisible, and hopeless? Why should I keep trying, when it happens to me again and again?

Broken

replies: 5

Unsure what to do, where to go. I know I need help but can’t afford specialists. I read ‘do this’ and ‘think that’….. if it was that easy I’d do it and think it… wrong side of 50 these days and the future is terrifying. I wish everyday I would go to sleep and not wake, crazy how it all works. Got someone who cares about me, she’s amazing and the only reason I’m still here, I just can’t get over that wall…… tried anti-depressant but no real change there, and as time has gone on my temper gets worse, the anger sometimes scares even me. Apologies for the rant, just don’t know what else to do, got to vent somewhere….

Im not sure what's happening (TW) - pls dont read if triggered by feelings of self harm

replies: 3

I am a 22 year old female living with my sister and dog. I've never thought of death as something that I would want to bring upon myself, mostly because I think about everyone around me, especially my dog. I have depression and anxiety, and also undiagnosed ADHD. I found that I may have ADHD during my therapy sessions and it has only been a couple months since I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. In the recent weeks, I've started to think of death as an option. Like a worst case option. Im in a really bad personal and family financial situation and my parents are going through a divorce. Whenever I think of the worst that could happen, I have started to assure myself that in a worst case scenario, death is an option. I don't even think about my dog when I think these thoughts, despite knowing that I am all my dog has. I have never had these thoughts before. Sure, I have thought about death, but have always brushed it off because I knew it was not an option, but now it's different. I haven't told my psychologist about this because I didn't know how to. But I felt like I had to tell someone about it and get their opinions on whether this is a cause of concern or if this is normal.

Anxiety

replies: 1

Hello All, I'm 37. I never used to be like this. I never suffered anxiety like this before in my life. It has gotten worse with age. Everyday, I'm anxious about work, social anxiety, anxious about my neighbours, for some strange reason, I've been anxious that someone is gonna complain against me and sue me, for God knows what. I'm always scared that I'm gonna be in legal trouble for something, even though I'm not doing anything wrong. I literally have no idea how this all started. I did try 2wice in my late teens/early adulthood to suicide, but that was a long time ago. I'll get anxious about tiny things that most people wouldn't even be anxious for. For some reason, I always feel like, or think that people around me are talking about me negatively, and that it's gonna come back on me somehow. I know that I'm not the only one going through this, but most days, I just wanna crawl into a hole somewhere and live away, and live in peace. I am back to suicidal ideation, but at this stage, that's all it is, ideation. I even tell my husband that I'm gonna kill myself, and himself being anxious, it makes his anxiety worse. I literally don't understand how this all started. Sometimes something will trigger me, and I'll start getting anxious, then angry. I feel like this world is too much for me. It really does feel that way. Every day I wake up, hoping something happens to me, but it never does. When I turn on the news, and I see all these tragedies happen, I sometimes ask God why that wasn't me? Why can't God just take me, and give me respite? I even have gone so far as to make a decision, that if I was ever diagnosed with something serious, and life threatening like cancer, I'd just leave it be, and let myself waste away. That's how bad I'm feeling. Sometimes I think about getting mugged and killed, or held up. I always tell myself, that if ever someone pointed a gun at me, or knifed me, I'd put my hands up and tell them to do me the favour, and go ahead. 'take what you want, go ahead, do me a favour, I don't care'. I literally wake up despairing, hating having to go to work, hating everything. I even would go so far, as to hate people. It's just so bizarre behaviour, but it's literally my reality. If someone else could validate what I'm feeling, and tell me I'm not alone, that would be nice to know it's not just me.

Your greatest promise with suicidal thoughts and/or self harm. TRIGGER WARNING

replies: 0

Some time ago I wrote about acceptance whether it was our biggest challenge see link. That was in view of accepting our mental health issues, a goal you would want to reach whereby you have all things in place- diagnosis, medication, therapy and lifestyle. A point in the process where you are living your life the best you can as functionally as you can, as close to normal as you can get considering that huge hand you've been dealt. Acceptance at this level is great because you have accepted your lack of some capabilities under extreme conditions.. Great! But rarely is it achieved hence the title of the greatest challenge. https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/acceptance-is-this-our-biggest-challenge/td-p/147694 Then there was the theory of switching our mind in thought, to do the opposite of a physical need, like needing to go for a walk and instead we remain lying on the lounge. To do the opposite of what our brain is telling us to do is sometimes beneficial. It takes training, practice and determination, see link. https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/switching-mindsets/td-p/274532 Combine the above together for your greatest challenge- the realisation that you need help with suicidal thought or mental crisis - to not remain in a "it will pass" state of mind... To get help no matter what you are thinking at the time, if you are thinking of or acting out self harm, having suicidal thoughts regardless of what level of seriousness, even if you do not believe you are a threat to yourself WHEN THE TEARS START FALLING COMBINED WITH FEELINGS OF HOPELESSNESS PLEASE SEEK HELP NO MATTER HOW OFTEN. In my experience of hundreds of such episodes I believe all such episodes are a short step from making that one action of attempt, I'm not mincing words, I'm trying to accurately describe the sad, horrifying place that ouR state of mind exists in that zone of depression. Many of you know where that place is. On one occasion only I took it to another level and will never go there again and now I will get help every time, it's my pledge., my promise to myself. Yes, our greatest challenge is very simple. Tell a loved one you feel you are in danger and ask them to contact someone be it suicide watch 131114 Beyondblue 1300 224 636 or ambulance. Or do yourself the best favour ever- contact them yourself and ask for help. I'm up for the promise, let's ride that challenge together. Thoughts? PS please read the first post on each of those links above TonyWK

Do you have a safety plan? replies: 97

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section replies: 0

Getting of the weed replies: 1

Do I deserve it or is my mum the asshole replies: 4

Feeling alone replies: 4

Silence and darkness replies: 1

Body dysmorphia or just plain ugly? replies: 4

My life is one hurdle after another replies: 4

Broken replies: 5

Im not sure what's happening (TW) - pls dont read if triggered by feelings of self harm replies: 3

Anxiety replies: 1

Your greatest promise with suicidal thoughts and/or self harm. TRIGGER WARNING replies: 0