Are you living for others?

Rupes79 · ‎12-08-2023

Hi Everyone,

Can anyone else sympathise with living just to please others? As in you’d prefer not to be here but you understand what it would do to those you leave behind.

Then you start the resent them because you hung around just so they don’t have to deal with it.

white knight · ‎14-08-2023

Hi, welcome

I'm sympathetic to your post, it seems you are going through a tough time but at the same time you are realising that great harm will come to your loved ones. I've had suicide in my family and it is devastating. Having said that I know that taking action on the core issues is a far better choice.

Can I ask you to attend a GP and seek out those core issues? It's one step that can lead to an eventual happy life. Sounds too much of a challenge? I've been in your situation where there seems no answer. Please, there is answers and there is happiness.

Is there anything you would like to discuss? We are anonymous.

TonyWK

smallwolf · ‎14-08-2023

hello and welcome.

I can definitely empathize with the struggle of feeling caught between your own desires and the impact it might have on your loved ones. It's not easy to carry the weight of others' expectations while dealing with your own emotions. Your feelings are valid, and seeking support can make a difference. Listening if you want to chat...

Earth Girl · ‎15-08-2023

Hi Rupes79,

I've sort of experienced this, not to the point where I think I would definitely take my own life because I'm so afraid of that, but I get where you are coming from. You don't want to keep going anymore, but you know if you left, it would deeply hurt people.

I don't feel loved and supported much by my parents, but I know that if I left, it would deeply affect them and my sisters as well.

I'm starting to wonder if this is the reason why my sister sometimes seems like she resents me. She once told me that at one stage of her life, she really wanted to end it, but she didn't because she knew I wouldn't be able to handle her leaving like that. She has been shutting me out since we were teenagers and I'm not really sure why, but now that I think about it more, if she didn't end it because she didn't want it to affect me, maybe she has a bit of "anger" towards me for that? It might explain why she's been shutting me out for so long.

She also told me that another reason that stopped her from heading that way was that she watched a show and it ended up with a girl ending things in that way and she realized how horrible it would be to walk into someone's room (or wherever it happened) and to see that. It would just be so upsetting.

May I ask what is causing you to feel like you don't want to keep going? (E.g. depression, something you're going though, anxiety, etc). I've had depression for a long time and it was horrible, but it does get better and I'm glad I didn't end things.

I get bullied pretty badly and that sometimes makes me feel like things aren't worth it, but I know my parents wouldn't be able to take it even though when I tell them about what makes me feel this way (the bullying), they don't actually care.

Do you have anyone you can talk to and tell them about what is making you feel this way? Can you talk to your family about it or would it be too hard? I don't have the best relationship with my parents, but I still try to tell them these things so at least they can tell that I'm not doing well.