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Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Sophie_M Do you have a safety plan?
  • replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts wi... View more

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

Sophie_M PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section
  • replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to h... View more

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. ​This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

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CamH Broken
  • replies: 5

Unsure what to do, where to go. I know I need help but can’t afford specialists. I read ‘do this’ and ‘think that’….. if it was that easy I’d do it and think it… wrong side of 50 these days and the future is terrifying. I wish everyday I would go to ... View more

Unsure what to do, where to go. I know I need help but can’t afford specialists. I read ‘do this’ and ‘think that’….. if it was that easy I’d do it and think it… wrong side of 50 these days and the future is terrifying. I wish everyday I would go to sleep and not wake, crazy how it all works. Got someone who cares about me, she’s amazing and the only reason I’m still here, I just can’t get over that wall…… tried anti-depressant but no real change there, and as time has gone on my temper gets worse, the anger sometimes scares even me. Apologies for the rant, just don’t know what else to do, got to vent somewhere….

Vil Im not sure what's happening (TW) - pls dont read if triggered by feelings of self harm
  • replies: 3

I am a 22 year old female living with my sister and dog. I've never thought of death as something that I would want to bring upon myself, mostly because I think about everyone around me, especially my dog. I have depression and anxiety, and also undi... View more

I am a 22 year old female living with my sister and dog. I've never thought of death as something that I would want to bring upon myself, mostly because I think about everyone around me, especially my dog. I have depression and anxiety, and also undiagnosed ADHD. I found that I may have ADHD during my therapy sessions and it has only been a couple months since I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. In the recent weeks, I've started to think of death as an option. Like a worst case option. Im in a really bad personal and family financial situation and my parents are going through a divorce. Whenever I think of the worst that could happen, I have started to assure myself that in a worst case scenario, death is an option. I don't even think about my dog when I think these thoughts, despite knowing that I am all my dog has. I have never had these thoughts before. Sure, I have thought about death, but have always brushed it off because I knew it was not an option, but now it's different. I haven't told my psychologist about this because I didn't know how to. But I felt like I had to tell someone about it and get their opinions on whether this is a cause of concern or if this is normal.

Mozaik Anxiety
  • replies: 1

Hello All, I'm 37. I never used to be like this. I never suffered anxiety like this before in my life. It has gotten worse with age. Everyday, I'm anxious about work, social anxiety, anxious about my neighbours, for some strange reason, I've been anx... View more

Hello All, I'm 37. I never used to be like this. I never suffered anxiety like this before in my life. It has gotten worse with age. Everyday, I'm anxious about work, social anxiety, anxious about my neighbours, for some strange reason, I've been anxious that someone is gonna complain against me and sue me, for God knows what. I'm always scared that I'm gonna be in legal trouble for something, even though I'm not doing anything wrong. I literally have no idea how this all started. I did try 2wice in my late teens/early adulthood to suicide, but that was a long time ago. I'll get anxious about tiny things that most people wouldn't even be anxious for. For some reason, I always feel like, or think that people around me are talking about me negatively, and that it's gonna come back on me somehow. I know that I'm not the only one going through this, but most days, I just wanna crawl into a hole somewhere and live away, and live in peace. I am back to suicidal ideation, but at this stage, that's all it is, ideation. I even tell my husband that I'm gonna kill myself, and himself being anxious, it makes his anxiety worse. I literally don't understand how this all started. Sometimes something will trigger me, and I'll start getting anxious, then angry. I feel like this world is too much for me. It really does feel that way. Every day I wake up, hoping something happens to me, but it never does. When I turn on the news, and I see all these tragedies happen, I sometimes ask God why that wasn't me? Why can't God just take me, and give me respite? I even have gone so far as to make a decision, that if I was ever diagnosed with something serious, and life threatening like cancer, I'd just leave it be, and let myself waste away. That's how bad I'm feeling. Sometimes I think about getting mugged and killed, or held up. I always tell myself, that if ever someone pointed a gun at me, or knifed me, I'd put my hands up and tell them to do me the favour, and go ahead. 'take what you want, go ahead, do me a favour, I don't care'. I literally wake up despairing, hating having to go to work, hating everything. I even would go so far, as to hate people. It's just so bizarre behaviour, but it's literally my reality. If someone else could validate what I'm feeling, and tell me I'm not alone, that would be nice to know it's not just me.

white knight Your greatest promise with suicidal thoughts and/or self harm. TRIGGER WARNING
  • replies: 0

Some time ago I wrote about acceptance whether it was our biggest challenge see link. That was in view of accepting our mental health issues, a goal you would want to reach whereby you have all things in place- diagnosis, medication, therapy and life... View more

Some time ago I wrote about acceptance whether it was our biggest challenge see link. That was in view of accepting our mental health issues, a goal you would want to reach whereby you have all things in place- diagnosis, medication, therapy and lifestyle. A point in the process where you are living your life the best you can as functionally as you can, as close to normal as you can get considering that huge hand you've been dealt. Acceptance at this level is great because you have accepted your lack of some capabilities under extreme conditions.. Great! But rarely is it achieved hence the title of the greatest challenge. https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/acceptance-is-this-our-biggest-challenge/td-p/147694 Then there was the theory of switching our mind in thought, to do the opposite of a physical need, like needing to go for a walk and instead we remain lying on the lounge. To do the opposite of what our brain is telling us to do is sometimes beneficial. It takes training, practice and determination, see link. https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/switching-mindsets/td-p/274532 Combine the above together for your greatest challenge- the realisation that you need help with suicidal thought or mental crisis - to not remain in a "it will pass" state of mind... To get help no matter what you are thinking at the time, if you are thinking of or acting out self harm, having suicidal thoughts regardless of what level of seriousness, even if you do not believe you are a threat to yourself WHEN THE TEARS START FALLING COMBINED WITH FEELINGS OF HOPELESSNESS PLEASE SEEK HELP NO MATTER HOW OFTEN. In my experience of hundreds of such episodes I believe all such episodes are a short step from making that one action of attempt, I'm not mincing words, I'm trying to accurately describe the sad, horrifying place that ouR state of mind exists in that zone of depression. Many of you know where that place is. On one occasion only I took it to another level and will never go there again and now I will get help every time, it's my pledge., my promise to myself. Yes, our greatest challenge is very simple. Tell a loved one you feel you are in danger and ask them to contact someone be it suicide watch 131114 Beyondblue 1300 224 636 or ambulance. Or do yourself the best favour ever- contact them yourself and ask for help. I'm up for the promise, let's ride that challenge together. Thoughts? PS please read the first post on each of those links above TonyWK

Anxious- Getting so tired
  • replies: 1

I am so tired of thinking about death & wanting to die. It's exhausting & painful & I am really worried about myself.

I am so tired of thinking about death & wanting to die. It's exhausting & painful & I am really worried about myself.

Unicorn_Kitty Is anyone particularly upset about dealing with ‘cognitive defects’?
  • replies: 6

I have been struggling with cognitive defects throughout my life, such as lack of attention, lack of awareness of surroundings/directions, slow processing speed, forgetfulness, slower learning abilities & poor social skills. I am managing to keep my ... View more

I have been struggling with cognitive defects throughout my life, such as lack of attention, lack of awareness of surroundings/directions, slow processing speed, forgetfulness, slower learning abilities & poor social skills. I am managing to keep my streams of income, and more feedback is good, however a lot of services seem indifferent about whether or not they have me working for them. I’ve been given negative feedback a few times about my lack of interactions and some people seem to have a problem with me not knowing what has been said/shown to me right away or for not remembering. When I’m in a situation where I’m unsure about something or someone points something out to me when I wanted to figure it out in my own time & way, it upsets me tremendously, to the point of feeling worthless, cognitively defective & sometimes to the point of suicidal feelings in which I contemplate the point of existing, why my parents had me, why I wasn’t euthanised or murdered & whether I am a waste of space. These feelings are somewhat temporary & occasional but they can be triggered in similar circumstances. Cognitive defects are the worst of issues I’ve dealt with as they may very well be permanent and they are ongoing and detrimental to my self-worth and happiness. I would like to figure out if these slip ups are typical & whether there is a way to feel better in these moments. Thank you for reading!

britishtvfan can't take it anymore
  • replies: 60

i'm having such a hard time lately. i had some person in the uk who i thought was a good close friend of mine. there were so many red flags that i didn't see - they didn't show me what they looked like & when i politely asked them they kept making ex... View more

i'm having such a hard time lately. i had some person in the uk who i thought was a good close friend of mine. there were so many red flags that i didn't see - they didn't show me what they looked like & when i politely asked them they kept making excuses like "so what if i am an old creepy man, it wouldn't make a difference?" & things like that. i get being insecure but she knew what i looked like. i knew her name & age but that's all. i started talking to her on a blogging website because we both liked rock & metal music, old british sitcoms/comedies etc. she was also a violent person as she told me she's beaten people up before in real life. & she shares what she calls "art" which is violent things of blood, people being hurt etc. i should've cut ties with her then. we had an argument because she told me she was going to be there on a certain day after christmas & then she sends me a message an hour before we talk (used to be 3am for me but then 4am because of daylight savings over there) & her message wasn't even apologetic, it was like she typed up some excuse & copied & pasted it to avoid me. i kept apologising to her & admitting my mistakes, trying to work things out for both of us. i liked talking to her because we had inside jokes, we talked about things in common, we roleplayed which i enjoyed (stuff like fanfiction, so we'd act as the characters in a show we both liked & do romance, funny stuff, drama, etc). it made me happy. she was threatening to me although she can't do anything. i'm so hurt & upset by this & i feel so stupid & regretful that i ever joined & talked to her. i can't afford therapy. idk if my meds are working. i just stay up late & sleep in late & my parents get annoyed with me, i understand why but i don't feel like doing anything like going out of the house anymore, i haven't for months, even when i was on good terms with her. she said good things about me like she doesn't want to lose me but she cut ties with me yesterday saying she wants nothing to do with me. accuses me of stuff i never said & did, calls me a narcissist, manipulative, & other hurtful things. i'm in a group online which is for mental health suffers worldwide of all ages trying to support each other in a friendly environment. but i post & they seem to get ignored, like my comments, even when i put trigger warnings. but everyone else's, even worse posts, get approved. i get they're busy. i get left on read & avoided by everyone. i wish i was never born.

50_shades_of_neurodivergent Partnership challenges
  • replies: 3

I am a married person with a toddler in my early thirties. I have been through mental health issues and this still impacts my family to some extent. I can understand that it must be challenging for my partner too. But I have been hurting a lot recent... View more

I am a married person with a toddler in my early thirties. I have been through mental health issues and this still impacts my family to some extent. I can understand that it must be challenging for my partner too. But I have been hurting a lot recently due to their lack of attention to what I’m constantly going through, lack of proper communication and showing that they care for me. I feel that they try to avoid conversations if it gets to a challenging topic and like to believe that everything will sort itself out. I often feel frustrated trying to explain myself, asserting my emotional needs, and just being heard or seen at times. I have started hating this attachment and how I don’t see an end to this. I have never really attempted suicide, but have felt like I want to stop existing at times which is highly disturbing. I put that in words so my partner might try and reach out a bit more and maybe he does but honestly, it is just getting more and more frustrating. I am so sick of hurting and crying so much and haring myself for not being strong enough or independent enough. I don’t feel like I can explain myself to anyone anymore which is starting to affect my day to day functioning in a subtle manner. I am so torn between emotions and I just want to talk to someone who cares.

Jessksch How are you guys keeping it together as everything is getting more and more expensive?
  • replies: 1

I work from 7:30am to evening, and just seems like I can't do anything with the money I earn besides pay bills, buy groceries and rent an apartment. I just don't have the energy anymore to do anything or,money is still too tight. I came home after a ... View more

I work from 7:30am to evening, and just seems like I can't do anything with the money I earn besides pay bills, buy groceries and rent an apartment. I just don't have the energy anymore to do anything or,money is still too tight. I came home after a long day today and just broke down crying realizing how little time to myself I have until tomorrow is another day of work. I got a huge bill today and was told people living in our complex had an extreme rent increase too, so most likely we will also have that. I am struggling and don't know how to cope anymore.