Hi Bee
You're such a beautiful person. Your friend is so blessed to have such a beautiful person in their life, someone who is a caring guide and support for them.
I'd say the most important thing you can tell your friend, to begin with, is the truth. I think the truth is 'Life can become so unbearable and painful to the point where we just can't do it anymore. It can become so soul destroying that we ache with a kind of heartache that can be hard to put into words'. That's my experience anyhow. Don't let anyone fill your friend's head with lies and rubbish about shame.
Sometimes I imagine life to kind of be like a forest entered into at birth. Some parts are well lit, have incredible paths that lead to amazing places in there and there's a sense of optimism, joy and adventure in those parts. Other parts have paths that are dark, have paths that lead to deeply challenging and sometimes fearful places and the feeling in those parts can be deeply deeply depressing and/or fearful. So, you could say you've come across your friend on one of the darkest if not the darkest part of their journey, where they just couldn't keep going in the darkness. You're holding the light for them and are now prepared to light the way as you walk with them, so that they don't have to walk alone. The question is 'Which way?', for there are multiple paths stemming from the point of pure despair. Take the one that leads to some form of psychological counseling that may help in the way of better understanding what has led to such a dark time? Take the one that is perhaps more of a soulful nature, that's more about a kind of spiritual inquiry (such as 'What is my nature and why do I feel life so deeply?')? Take the one that may lead to the forums here, a place that's anonymous with people who can relate to the feelings that come with a sense of darkness? Take the one that holds plenty of people who can relate to their specific life challenges in life, who've perhaps traveled a little further and have mastered where your friend now finds themself. Take one that leads to somewhere altogether different? If there's one thing for sure, your friend can't stay where they are or I imagine it will happen again. Sounds like it's time for them to choose a path or perhaps, if you're a bit of a seer, you'll be able to see the best path ahead for them.
Sounds like their mum is not the best guide for them, not someone who holds the light like you do. I've found it's so important to distinguish between those who lead us with some form of warmth and light and those who actually lead us into what can become so dark. Two very different kinds of leaders, that's for sure.
