Hi Fred65
Sometimes I think of how pathetic I sound when others have challenges that are so much bigger than mine, such as past traumas or unbearable losses and then I remember 'Down is down'. What I mean is it's not always about what it is that brings us down, the fact that we can feel the depths of depression itself can be an issue at times. It's the feeling of not being able to raise our self out of where we are or have others raise us in the ways we really need them to. While I in no way seek to minimise incredible trauma or great loss and while my heart truly goes out to those who feel the overwhelming struggles through such horrible mind altering and heartfelt experiences, the depths of depression can be felt by many, no matter how they got there.
While I've felt a number of different types of depressing experiences in life over the years, I'd have to say one of the toughest things to deal with is the feeling of next to no energy. Basically, if plenty of energy is what give us an exciting sense of connection to life, feeling next to no energy is like not being able to feel life run through you. It's a horrible feeling. There's such an intense desperation to feel life in a number of ways, to feel any sort of peak in energy, even if it's just enough for a bit of motivation. To feel a lack for days may be no big deal. To feel it for weeks can get frustrating or annoying. To feel the lack for months can become horrible and depressing. To feel it for years can feel undeniably soul destroying. The question becomes 'Why is the lack there?'. Thinking about all things thing that raise energy levels, just some of those things include pure and completely relatable forms of inspiration (which can be in extremely short supply at times), plenty of dopamine, energising iron or b12 levels etc, good quality restorative sleep (sleep apnea's a shocker when it comes to lack), people who raise our self esteem (as opposed to bringing it down), greater levels of self understanding and the enthusiasm and hope that comes from that, stuff that makes the cells in our body vibrate faster and more excitedly (hydro power/water, chemical energy in certain foods, kinetic energy/exercise etc), letting go of feelings that drain the absolute life out of us and so on. That exercise or kinetic energy's an interesting one. If you can feel yourself heating up through exercise, you're feeling your body producing enough energy to actually generate heat. A strange thought. Of course, hard to start generating any form of heat when the motivation's not there to start with.
A lack of all the things that can lead us to feel life run through us will naturally bring us down and as the lack grows stronger or more intense, the more down we are led to feel. I've found one of the worst experiences in life involves being able to feel a lack of so much. It is an ability that can feel more like a curse.
