Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

This space discusses suicide and self-harm. Consider limiting the time you spend here. To use the section safely, read the pinned discussion.

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Sophie_M Do you have a safety plan?
  • replies: 96

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts wi... View more

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

Sophie_M PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section
  • replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to h... View more

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. ​This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

All discussions

Dan7991 Partner with bad mental health issues causing suicidal thoughts
  • replies: 1

Hi my name is DanIve been in a 3 way relationship for almost 2 years now with 2 guys, one I care about more than the other. He has been having serious mental health issues most of the time I have been with him, this has caused him to be cold and dist... View more

Hi my name is DanIve been in a 3 way relationship for almost 2 years now with 2 guys, one I care about more than the other. He has been having serious mental health issues most of the time I have been with him, this has caused him to be cold and distant going as far as making me stay away from him a month or two at a time, in the past year he has found someone whom he claims to not be in a relationship but is always giving him cuddles and buying him things constantly, he has told me he is the only person who has been able to keep him from committing suicide himself. I am stuck on the side barely getting any attention and he only ever texts me when he needs something, this has been ongoing and is causing my mental health to decline rapidly to the point where I have never been closer to suicide in my life. I feel so unloved and used and I don’t know what to do. I still love him to t he point it hurts

Robbie8 Apology not required
  • replies: 1

Mmm today I was so close to harming myself. Luckily I was able to find an available doctor to speak to. I sat in their office waiting room for nearly an hour non stop crying. I hadn't felt this way for many years and the talk helped. She made time fo... View more

Mmm today I was so close to harming myself. Luckily I was able to find an available doctor to speak to. I sat in their office waiting room for nearly an hour non stop crying. I hadn't felt this way for many years and the talk helped. She made time for me and acknowledged my distress at why I was upset. Being validated made me feel better. I will never apologise to a person that my friend is feeling they are being racist toward. Never. No matter how my boss forces me to do this. It upset me so much. They did not listen to my point of view. No one heard my voice that this is not acceptable no matter who it is against. Colleague or colleagues partner who my friend said that said these bad things towards them. I did not witness but no way in hell will I apologise for my friend that stood up to the racist comments. It is they that needs to apologise. NOT me nor my friend. No doubt I will recieve a written warning because I didnt apologise the way they wanted..

xcBellePepper 365 days.
  • replies: 2

There are just 24 days left of 2022. Each day that passes is one less that I need to survive. 341 days of survival. I can't call it living, I may be alive, but at this point I am purely surviving and even then only just. In my 34 years I have suffere... View more

There are just 24 days left of 2022. Each day that passes is one less that I need to survive. 341 days of survival. I can't call it living, I may be alive, but at this point I am purely surviving and even then only just. In my 34 years I have suffered from mental heath issues for about 19 of those. Over time, I have learnt coping strategies, ways of recognising warning signs and when to ask for help. In my late teens and early 20s, I went through a stage of self harm and risky behaviour. There were no suicide attempts, nor thoughts. Just a general feeling of being misunderstood and wanting to escape the world. My mid to late 20s, my anxiety became more prominent, I withdrew and self isolated. The suicide ideations began during this period, but I could never commit suicide, it wouldn't be fair on those around me. My early 30s were a period of great upheaval. They haven't been good years. There has been a lot of loss, people, places, jobs, things, the will to continue. I lost 2 different family friends to suicide in this period, and my own father was at times suicidal. My thoughts moved towards dying through accidental means or through terminal illness, something that wasn't my fault. At 34, the year 2022, for the first time I find myself spending the majority of the 365 days of the year, just surviving. I have considered suicide more days this year, than not. Whilst the thoughts are just thoughts. With no specific plan, I am fearful that with time that may change. I am fearful, that the thoughts will get too overwhelming and I'll make a snap decision. I'm fearful I won't survive another 365 days.

self_harm_sweetheart I'm New Here
  • replies: 4

Hey everyone.I am in so much pain, and so so lonely. I've had depression and extreme paranoia for about 6 years now, and have been self harming for about 2 years. I've been thinking of suicide a lot recently, but I don't think I will take any action ... View more

Hey everyone.I am in so much pain, and so so lonely. I've had depression and extreme paranoia for about 6 years now, and have been self harming for about 2 years. I've been thinking of suicide a lot recently, but I don't think I will take any action right now. It hurts so much. No one has been able to help me.I'd just like to talk to someone. Anyone. Anyone who is willing to just have a chat with me, to relate with me. I don't have anyone else to go to; no one in my life wants to know. Please, please can someone talk to me. I'm so lonely. I'm desperate. Please, anyone?

chloelilly_08 Me
  • replies: 3

Hey my names Chloe I’ve been feeling pretty unhappy recently and would like someone to talk to

Hey my names Chloe I’ve been feeling pretty unhappy recently and would like someone to talk to

rosemotion Overseas soon and I need help
  • replies: 6

I have a trip overseas in 3 weeks with some family friends, but no immediate family. The country I am travelling to is the only thing to complete on my very short bucket list. I was hoping for April last year of when to pass, but this did not occur. ... View more

I have a trip overseas in 3 weeks with some family friends, but no immediate family. The country I am travelling to is the only thing to complete on my very short bucket list. I was hoping for April last year of when to pass, but this did not occur. Reaching 18 was never something I had planned for, and now going to the one place I have always wanted to go seems like the opportunity for it. I can’t stand the thought of the phone call they will get. I still remember their faces when we lost my brother. I can’t help to both want this but fear it so much. I don’t want to but I want to so much. I can’t do this to my family again but when the time comes, and I am standing in the forest I have always wanted to, what will my mind decide? I am terrified and I feel so, so guilty. I love my family so much that it stops me, but I fear being alone with this opportunity. I don’t want to do this I promise, I need some help. I don’t want to tell anyone because this will set my family back far too much if they know. I think I will call my doctor in the morning

Tryingtomoveon Christmas Drinking and Work
  • replies: 2

I had my work Christmas party on Friday night. I was quite anxious going and I ended up getting really drunk and ended up puking and having to be brought home by someone else in the office. I don't remember a lot of it. I woke up completely paniced o... View more

I had my work Christmas party on Friday night. I was quite anxious going and I ended up getting really drunk and ended up puking and having to be brought home by someone else in the office. I don't remember a lot of it. I woke up completely paniced on Saturday morning and ended up with my friend ringing the CAT team for me. All I wanted to do was end it all. I have managed to get myself back into the window of tolerance and the feelings aren't as big I do feel safe. But I do feel overwhelmed and the thought of logging onto work tomorrow is completely overwhelming and freaking me out that I will be fired. I keep catastrophising and I know that rationally I'm not being right but the thoughts just keep on coming. I know it is my own fault but I haven't been in this job long and it is senior so I just feel like I've done damage and if something is said I don't know how I will handle it. How do I work through this? I also think it is the time of year I find really hard but why did it have to all come crashing down at a Christmas function

James010405 Living in car
  • replies: 41

Howdy everyone. My partner and I of 7 years broke up at the start of the year and I've got no place to go. My 3 kids don't know that I'm officially classed as homeless and living out of my car for the last 9 months. Both my parents and sister have pa... View more

Howdy everyone. My partner and I of 7 years broke up at the start of the year and I've got no place to go. My 3 kids don't know that I'm officially classed as homeless and living out of my car for the last 9 months. Both my parents and sister have passed away a while ago now and I don't have any family to turn to for help. 2 mates know all the details and how I'm living and trying to help. I'm still working 2 jobs and can't get a rental to call home either. I had 2 Social workers give up on me trying to find a home, my ex was trying for 3 weeks but gave up and now a mate has offered to help with a bond if I find a place. Finding a place seems like a waste of time because I don't have anything to put in a home. My dog is living with the ex and she won't let me see my 15yo dog either now or even send me a picture of how she is going as well.. this Xmas coming will be the 8th shittiest in a row now and I just can't do it again. I just can't seem to get a break in life or get the hell I need to have a happy life again or share it with someone that loves me. Everything seems pointless or useless to me and all I can think of is just going, disappear or leave without a trace to never come back. I know it will break my 2 sons 18,17 and my 20yo daughter would not care. She refuses to see me, talk to me or even reply in texts and now she won't let me see my 9 month old grandchild that I've seen 1 time for 10 min. I have no where to go, no one to turn to and everyone gives up on me now and I can not see the light at the end of the tunnel and only seems like my hole is getting deeper by the day now. I cry myself to sleep most nights while sleeping in a sleeping bag in my car and pray to the lord to take me in my sleep but it never happens. I'm sick of this missarible life and so exhausted to the point where I can't think of see properly now. I need help and kindness

gurindjiwoman Trigger Warning: I would like to end my own life now.
  • replies: 1

I first thought about taking my own life back in 2014. That happened to be the first year that I self harmed. I was in Year 11 at the time and I was being bullied relentlessly for having curly hair - ever since Year 8. But ever since Year 8 I was bei... View more

I first thought about taking my own life back in 2014. That happened to be the first year that I self harmed. I was in Year 11 at the time and I was being bullied relentlessly for having curly hair - ever since Year 8. But ever since Year 8 I was being bullied for various different reasons. I can't recall what those reasons were, as it was so long ago, but what I can recall is that the teachers did nothing about it, despite the involvement of my mother and grandmother (this was back when my mother was a decent individual and when my grandmother worked for the Department for Education.) I was previously an A and B grade student but then plummeted to a D and E and NA student from the bullying. I ended up quitting school. In 2012, I joined a netball team, after playing for another club many years prior, where I was punished for being a phenomenal shooter (I was put in WD every game - I certainly wasn't having any fun - like the coach wanted us to.) My breathing disorder (not asthma) was not taken seriously by the team or the coach (who - the coach - I believe has undiagnosed Narcissistic Personality Disorder) and I was eventually kicked off of the team and booted out of the club for reasons unknown. The coach demanded that her team won every single game of the season. In 2013, I played against my old team on one occasion and I was put in GS. I was being bullied on court by the GK (who usually played in C) as she kept slapping the ball out of my hand deliberately (her mother/coach told her to do this) and when I missed ONE goal her mother told her that I should 'give up shooting goals,' which was loud enough for me to hear. Well guess what? She gave up coaching because her team weren't good enough for her (not even her own daughter was good enough for her). So, who is the real winner here? If you made it this far - THANK YOU! I actually feel a bit better now that I have shared this with you. I will respond to messages/emails from BB as soon as I can

Evanthia Pain , suffering and all things insane
  • replies: 5

I have been really trying to keep the crazy all contained inside , but there are cracks that are starting to show through and l have been struggling to stop the suicidal thoughts and the self harm from happening. I have a insane desire to hurt myself... View more

I have been really trying to keep the crazy all contained inside , but there are cracks that are starting to show through and l have been struggling to stop the suicidal thoughts and the self harm from happening. I have a insane desire to hurt myself that no one seems to understand. I've been hurting myself continuously. I've had a really emotionally unstable week and l've been so unhappy with everyone around me. The problem is if l say anything , l'm afraid of being taken to the hospital , so l am avoiding asking for help. SO why am l here , writing this ???? on the off chance , l make a mistake l guess.....