Living for my parents

[lulu222]

Hey, I moved to aus from Europe in September 22 because I was depressed and thought upping and leaving would help me feel happy. And it hasn’t and the only reason I’m still alive is that the fact my parents would have to spend money they don’t have to get me taken back to my home country and I can’t leave them with that burden. But I’m scared that when when I do go home I will. I’m sick of life there is nothing worth living for you work to survive you work untill your old and frail and what you’ve just wasted your life on things that aren’t important. Everything is just so dumb and I hate it I hate everything I feel like I’ve lived enough and my time to go is here but there’s nothing I can do about that because then I’m selfish. I Don’t want to live in a constant state of emptiness and spacing out for the most part I’m not even here mentally but I wish it was physical. I don’t know what’s wrong with me no one knows I feel like this because what are they going to say yeah I feel sad too okay yeah tell me about that. But no I don’t feel sad I feel nothing o wish I felt something I really do. Sorry for the rant I just don’t know what to do  

[Bridie_J]

Hi there, 

I am so sorry you feel this way. 

I have definitely been there in the past, and what I have learned is that nothing external will make you happy. Happiness doesn’t come from material things, a certain place, or from other people. It’s easier said than done I KNOW, but I am here living healthy and happy as proof that you can get through this difficult time. It sounds very cliche, but it needs to come from within you and then everything around you will become brighter because of it. 

I chased happiness by moving to the city, then to the beach and everywhere in between, but it took a lot of self healing, development and growth to get there! Invest in yourself and fill your own cup first, drown out others and disappear into finding happiness on the inside and I promise you will get there. I have come from self harm for 8 years and constant suicidal thoughts to finding life abundant and exciting. I hope you find happiness like I did. 

[Srouls11]

I think your right about how mundane and pointless much of life is. I also struggled a lot with living to work and pay bill on a never ending path. You could consider a change in life, like traveling around Australia. There are lots of European back Packers all over. Or maybe something else. I changed, I'm just not working any more.