Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Do you have a safety plan?

replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section

replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

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Pain in my head

replies: 5

My past is catching up with me: every morning when I wake the muscles in my head and to my neck are tensely tight and a mild tremor. I spoke to a doctor 5 years ago when it first started but she looked back at me as if she was 'dumb founded' she didn't have any answers nor questioned. I do have a very low threshold to pain. I nearly lost my baby i labour and nearly died myself when the long intense 14 hour labour became intolerable, both of my legs from hip downwards started shaking uncontrollably, my baby developed tachycardia and they rushed me to theatre as baby wasn't coming out. She was a large baby and had swallowed feaces, she was covered in it, brought on by her developing tachycardia. She is 25 years of age now but I wonder if this tremor in my head is a symptom of what is going to happen, a full on body tremor. It only happens when I am waking up from sleep. I do have neuropathy in my legs, numbness, spasms etc I exercise most mornings, 50 minute walk and I always feel great afterwards but I am scared of my body being in physical pain in the future. I am just delaying the inevitable. In 2020 the pain in my thigh was horrendous not even the strongest drugs helped and finally physio after 2 months in bed finally helped lift the pain from thigh, it was so bad I could not walk far. I still have numbness in my left thigh. I am seeing a new doctor this week and hopefully find what's causing the tense knot in my skull and the tremor and frequent spasms in my neck and throat. Weird. I wish most times to never wake up, I wish I had the courage to end this pain but I seem to just go on suffering. I am alone, my daughter lives interstate and is moving overseas in June for 3 years. I have no close family and no friends. My social housing property say to stop gardening as a tenant is trying to stop me. I can't join landcare like they want me to do but other tenants have complimented me it's just this one person causing me grief that I just wish I could go to sleep and never wake up.

TW: Thought of living

replies: 13

To some people, those that aren’t suffering from depression and suicidal ideation and urges, would probably say ‘life is great, life is worth living for so and so fort’ unfortunately that’s not the case for me and to a few who suffers like me. I wish I can say life is wonderful and worth fighting for but that isn’t the case… no matter how hard I try I keep stumbling downhill, no matter how hard I pretend that everything is good I just find myself more disappointed and more motivated to end my own life… I think that’s what it is right now, I feel that no one can save me, it is what it is...

Why…

replies: 3

Living with a terminally ill wife with about 5 years (if all goes well) left to live, a sick 8 year old daughter, a boss that is micromanaging me and feelslike he is bullying meby setting unfair goals, changing the hours I work, changing the way I work, being a cpap user as-well ashaving severe tinitus and being super sensitive to loud noises …I ask myself why…what is the point

I don't know what to do

replies: 5

I don't really have anyone close to me, and I came to this site just so I can say something honest somewhere. I moved to Australia at the beggining of high school, and I'll be doing my HSC next year. Since year 7, I never had any friends I felt close to, even growing up in India. Things got so much worse in year 7, I was basically bullied for being headstrong and opinionated. I wasn't perfect, but I never did anything to hurt anyone. I started faking having friends, and lied about having friends outside of school because I didn't want to be as pathetic as I was. The more I pretended not to be alone, the lonelier I got. No matter how well I do in school, even now, it doesn't feel enough. I have good grades? doesn't matter, I'm not at the top of my year in every subject. I have so many dreams, so many goals, but everyday they feel more and more unachievable. I don't know if I even deserve to get a good atar. I started self harming in year 9, my parent's found out then, and they got mad at me and got cold towards me. A year later, I had a breakdown in front of my drama teacher and told her everything. There were phone calls home, and after a lot of fights I got to go see a phsychologist. I thought that would help, but I didn't. I realised that I couldn't be honest, that I didn't feel comfortable with the psychologist largely because she was a middle aged Indian woman who reminded me too much of my mother. I felt pathetic. I acted my way out of that, and now I am lost. I avoid my teacher, I avoid my friends, and I just try to get on with it. I have self harmed since then, not because I want to, but because I feel like I would loose my mind if I don't. I want to make close friends, but I don't know how. I want to be normal, but at the same time I don't. Sometimes I just feel like I'm faking everything for attention. I don't know what to do, becuse I don't know what I want.

Drink

replies: 7

Iam lost. Nearly 6 years on antidepressants and sober. I want to drink because I think it will give me a buzz. Meds don't work, I have been on a downward slope with depression for years. I have a gp, psychiatrist, seen psychologists, and most recently the hospital mental health have done phone calls which were pointless. If it's this bad I mayaswell drink too hey? I need help but it's not happening and I don't know why. How is a single parent supposed to be a loving parent like this. I had a vague idea to drink and OD few months ago. I want to drink but it might not end well.

At a Loss

replies: 3

In June last year, my boss SA'd me after a few drinks at a bar for my birthday. I don't know what the worst part about it all is either, the guilt I also feel knowing he has a girlfriend of five years also looms on my conscious I have had to deal with and live with this for several months, facing him on a daily basis. Nobody else at work knows anything, I am sure even though he has made threats to ruin my life and tell everyone numerous times, he constantly abuses me, manipulates me and gaslights me about the situation at work and I feel that if anyone found out I would feel so ashamed and embarrassed. I am currently looking for a new job but today has been especially tough for me, we got into a argument over it with him 150% blaming me for everything, trying to guilt trip me, saying he's leaving and he will lose his house and custody of his child ect ect..and it is all my fault. I just don't know what else to do, I have always been depressed on and off in life, many times wanting to KMS, I have been okay for a little while until now. I'm tired of coming home crying because of the abuse which happens more times then I can count on both hands, I don't want to be here, he was the one person I thought I could trust but it turns out for 5 months he was just grooming me practically pretending to be my friend to get closer to me, I live in a state I didn't grow up in now and I basically have no one to talk to. I couldn't even bring myself to tell my mother because I know she would just tell me to pack my things and 'come home' the problem with that is, she too is and always has been abusive toward me growing up. I just don't know what to do. I feel like I am better off just offing myself at this point. I know I need help but I just can't be bothered nor do I want to go through the trauma of rehashing all of the hurt and feelings I have over this predicament with a doctor or medical practitioner that wonr take it seriously. What do I do? I'm just at a loss and I feel like dying is my only option

TW Vivid imagery, Suicidal and self harm ideation, urges and intent

replies: 17

As I sit here in the change room at work, different ideas are coming into mind. I’ve already taken a step towards self harm, but it’s seems like it’s never enough… the voices wants me to take a step further, as I try to organise my bag I came across some stuff that I can use to take self harm and suicidal intent further… im in a private room which is a perfect scene to act on the urges… I try to block it all out by listening to music but it’s doing nothing but keep me in this mindset of me taking that step further. The idea of it makes me wanna act on it… how do I stop myself from acting on it? How does one mover forward safely without making it any worse? All I know is that I need to do it just to feed and hopefully stop the voices even just a second… I think I need to get out of this room… or probably I should seek help from our medic at work? That idea doesn’t sit with me but if that’s what I have to do then should I do it? The voices are like ‘jo, you don’t need anybody. Just do it!!! We know you want to jo! So why fight it? Just cave in and follow what we say… you got all you need it’s in your bag… isn’t that the reason why you have it with you in the first place! So go on Jo do it and let go, don’t hold back! You know we’re right…’ don’t know what to anymore, this feeling is so overwhelming that I can’t seem to understand and make sense of everything!

I am alone and completely isolated

replies: 4

I recently moved to a new city. I struggled with depression for a long time. I feel I tried everything to help myself but I am at the end of my jurney. I know i am not alone with feelings of hopelessness and no future. I am scared every day. I just w... View more

TW Master Plan

replies: 4

I guess the title says it all., these voices in my head and the intensity of the urge to act on it is higher than yesterday…. I don’t know if I’m being paranoid or going crazy or even asking myself are this all just a dream and will wake up soon and everything is better than it is now? I believe that everyone is waiting for me to die or ants me to die im definitely and truly believe that I don’t matter, my whole life don’t matter and that no one loves me… sound selfish but that’s how it is in my life right now…. I just want peace, freedom and just end my suffering…

Brother suicided

replies: 19

Hi, First time I have ever been on this type of platform but I am at a loss. My younger brother took his life 2 weeks ago and I’m not coping. I have been trying to shield my parents as much as possible (i.e. dealing with police, coroner, funeral people etc). I have a very supportive husband and family (including my youngest brother who lives interstate) but have never felt such loss.

Do you have a safety plan? replies: 97

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section replies: 0

Pain in my head replies: 5

TW: Thought of living replies: 13

Why… replies: 3

I don't know what to do replies: 5

Drink replies: 7

At a Loss replies: 3

TW Vivid imagery, Suicidal and self harm ideation, urges and intent replies: 17

I am alone and completely isolated replies: 4

TW Master Plan replies: 4

Brother suicided replies: 19