Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Do you have a safety plan?

replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section

replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

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Recovery from suicide attempt - it can be done

replies: 74

Hi everyone I wanted to post something positive about how recovery from being suicidal can happen. I am a first timer. I’ve had episodes of depression but don’t usually go deep enough to be suicidal. My heart goes out to all of you and your mental health struggles. Bipolar runs in my family. Mum was a hospital admission last year and sadly, is now a resident in aged care. My 32 yr old son has autism and bipolar 2. My story is one of a battle with depression while supporting Mum (My older brother and I worked together) in hospital and Dad - who has Alzheimers- at home. Both are in their 80s. I was suicidal a year ago and made plans - but had a powerful spiritual experience and didn’t follow through. My naturopath helped me to sort the many Imbalances in my body and I recovered - for a time. Dad followed Mum into care in January and my brother and I sold their house. I then found myself being drawn into being a caregiver for Mum when I was already exhausted and struggling. Suicidal thoughts crept in but I pushed them away. I just tried to keep going - until I couldn’t. One sleepless night, I attempted …..My husband took me to the ED… I was offered mental health support and I accepted. I was in a daze. This was 4 months ago. I was diagnosed with caregiver burnout.I had five sessions with a psychologist, two with a psychiatrist- all from Monash Health and Medicare funded - and found myself doing a lot better. I’m now seeing a private psychologist and have improved even further. My son is almost my fully transitioned into supported accommodation and I am learning to deal with the things that wore me down. Very few people know what I did. I haven’t felt ready to tell them. But my whole outlook has changed. Getting help and being prepared to face my demons is what has changed me. I’m not good at asking for help. I’m better at helping others. I’m actually working on that in therapy. My message to you all is,- don’t be afraid to ask for help. Don’t be afraid to open up and let people in. They can’t help you if they don’t know you are in pain. If you don’t like the health professional you are seeing, ask to see someone else. A good relationship with that person is paramount. Therapy won’t work if you don’t trust them. Most of all, trust that you have it in yourself to overcome this. Your life IS worth living. People DO care. You just have to let them in.

Not feeling ok at the moment

replies: 38

I just need to write down how I’m feeling. I’m exhausted and in pain. I have overwhelming grief recurring that I thought I’d begun to heal from. I’m very dissociated. I know that’s my body trying to protect me from overwhelm. Was seeing someone this week about starting voluntary work (possibly a stepping stone back into workforce). But feel like my body is screaming at me that it’s not ok and can only rest. It’s like I was oversaturated with stress for too many years and I have nothing left. It take’s phenomenal energy to use the small part of me that’s still functioning to interact with others. I manage to convey outwardly that I’m fine and come across as positive and competent even though internally I’m breaking at the moment. I cannot tolerate abusive or exploitative relationships anymore. Putting boundaries up to protect myself, but somehow that triggers more grief linked to past issues even though it’s necessary to establish those boundaries. I had side effects from a med badly flaring one of the autoimmune conditions I have, so came off it. This has triggered other undesirable effects that are potentially serious so have gone back on it. I’ve spent decades now, since childhood, managing chronic pain and health conditions. I’ve always been relentlessly positive, but that is starting to fail. Angry too about denial of abuse in my extended family - the way perpetrators were protected and the reality and impact of abuse denied. This continues. I can’t stand it anymore. Although thoughts of death are there for me almost daily at the moment, I think a will to live in me is stronger. The thoughts are just my mind-body not wanting to struggle anymore.

Worried about my husband

replies: 2

My husband has been under a lot of pressure at work over the past year. I've been really worried & have been flagging burnout/depression with his for months. In early December it's like a switch flicked - he stopped engaging, especially with me - still interacting as needed at work. At home, he just shuts down. He's also had a few binge drinking sessions with friends (he's in mid 50's) but aside from that doesn't drink much. I finally convinced him to go see a Dr & is two weeks into antidepressants. I found out a few days ago that a few days prior to the Drs appt he had planned to a suicide attempt but didn't follow through - he volunteered this information to me but now won't talk about it. He said it won't happen again. He says that he told the Dr, but I'm unsure as he insists on going to appts on his own. I'm afraid, and not sure what to do. We had a good relationship before this, ups and downs of course but primarily good. How do I make sure he knows I'm here for him without smothering him and creating additional anxiety? How do I make sure that the Dr knows what has happened? I'm struggling to manage my own feelings with this and neither of us is sleeping well. I guess I'm also trying to understand how to make things worse.

Tired

replies: 3

I’m so tired of life. The only reason I keep going is I’m all my kids have. Their dad cut them out if his life 3 years ago because they look like me. I’m so exhausted. My youngest has autism, I work fulltime and do work on the side and I’m just so ti... View more

Housemate from hell experience

replies: 2

This story is too crazy for words. It has got so bad here that I have developed suicidal ideation again. I feel panic attacks come on some days. I feel like a prisoner in my own house. And yes, I'm working on getting out of here. It is not safe for me. I don't know what will happen to me if I don't get out of here soon. It's absolutely unbearable, it's unliveable. I'm calling Beyond Blue almost every day. Please help someone.

No ideas left what to do

replies: 3

About 15 months ago i became unemployed. I applied for newstart but was declinened.Over the last 15 months I have tried to support myself but can only find subcontract work.Mainly flyer deliverys I walk up to 160km a week and over the time have had a broken hand due to slip on driveway tendinitus of leg fall on reo bars hidden in grass and for 2 months pain left wrist due to tendinitus.The pain in my wrist has got so bad it makes playing my bass guitar nearly impissible.Playing in my band is my one happy place so to lose that is hard. Just before Chhristmas i totaled my car and now must rely on public transport.It takes 3 hours to get anywhere and so getting very little woek done , I am stayong at mums and she makes sure im fed but the stress im causing her is obvious in her declining health She is 86. I find myself sinking down and each time i get cloaer to the point of no return. I cant see any way back to being able to support myself and any quality of life. At least if im gone mum gets my super and can use it to ease her situation. I dont know what to do.

Want a relationship but struggle to cope

replies: 2

I'm not a bad looking guy and I'm personable I don't have any problems talking with women but I (24M) broke up with my emotionally abusive girlfriend last year. It has really left me a bit broken when it comes to relationships. I don't know how to cope with them. I am seeing a woman right now and we're having a small fight and I feel like it is consuming my entire world. I take the blame on my shoulders, I deny myself the ability to feel angry saying it's stupid, ect. But I am allowed to get mad sometimes, right? I guess I am just sick of overthinking things and assuming the worst is going to happen because of how I was treated in the past. I have major depression and severe anxiety which are both being medicated. I am communicating my feelings, but it makes me feel worthless and broken and it brings back my suicidal ideations.

Talk to us, please

replies: 3

This site is totally anonymous. We have many champions here ready and willing to talk when they are on line. We have moderators to ensure your safety from any online bullying or inappropriate remarks. We often receive posts when the member is way down the track with depression, suicidal thoughts etc and it is much more preferable you post earlier than later. Many of us have travelled down the dark road not realising that some calm words from those with past lived experiences can guide you out along a track to a better future. Take care, allow us to lift you up. Can you allow yourself to be cared for? TonyWK

Exhausted and scared

replies: 3

I have bpd, depression, aptsd. This is my first time using a forum, so I apologise firstly if it reads a bit over the place. I think I have had a really bad relapse due to putting myself out in the online dating scene only to be constantly misunderstood, then I get ghosted. I am terribly lonely and have been since the end of my marriage. Which I felt alone for 17 years. I developed acute ptsd from child hood trauma then to watching my son go through leukaemia for 3 1/2 years with no family support. I had to leave my marriage due to cultural abuse and subsequently lost my son who lives with his dad. I totally broke down a year ago and had a plan to end it. At the last minute I went to hospital as a voluntary patient. All was going well until my ex from a brief relationship was brought in by police. He was high on drugs and cornered me straight away. I could not believe that this was happening so I discharged myself and went to my gp. This is when I was diagnosed with bpd which did make alot of sense. But I have relapsed twice in 6 months. Each one is triggered by my ptsd then I do some things that are self destructive but feel good at the time. But then comes the self loathing and such hate for myself. Then the suicidal thoughts kick in cause I can't handle my racing thoughts or the feelings that are so intense that you want to anything to not feel or think. I do this alone as I don't know what's worse, possibly being taken to hospital or being alone cause I don't have anyone to talk to that would understand. Each relapse is harder to handle emotionally physically and mentally. I am so exhausted and afraid that I feel it is only a matter of time before I just give in. P.s a new symptom of bpd has also crept in, I'm paranoid constantly that family and friends are absolutely sick of my constant ups and downs. I mean I am so sick and tired of me I don't blame them.

Homaphobic Parents

replies: 1

My mum says she accepts me being non binary. But she uses my dead name and wrong pronouns. So whenever my friends come over they get so confused because of her. I just want her to accept me. I just feel so crap im so confused, and so hurt. I dont know what to do and how to deal with all of this. The only way I can manage is by self-harming. And yet she sees the scars and does not give a shit. I just want to run away, I dont want to kill myself but im so tempted and whenever I close my eyes I see myself dead. Something is wwrong with me but I act fine. She thinks I have problems because of what happend when I was younger (sexual assault) but no its her and I just want to tell her that but I cant. I cant do anything im not in control of anything. I dont want to feel lkee this anymore

Do you have a safety plan? replies: 97

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section replies: 0

Recovery from suicide attempt - it can be done replies: 74

Not feeling ok at the moment replies: 38

Worried about my husband replies: 2

Tired replies: 3

Housemate from hell experience replies: 2

No ideas left what to do replies: 3

Want a relationship but struggle to cope replies: 2

Talk to us, please replies: 3

Exhausted and scared replies: 3

Homaphobic Parents replies: 1