Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

This space discusses suicide and self-harm. Consider limiting the time you spend here. To use the section safely, read the pinned discussion.

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

Pinned discussions

Sophie_M Do you have a safety plan?
  • replies: 96

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts wi... View more

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

Sophie_M PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section
  • replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to h... View more

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. ​This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

All discussions

88louise Anxiety around phobia of vomiting = self harm
  • replies: 1

I have emetephobia and my child is I’ll and this is the second time In a month, lots of anxiety and triggers and I’ve self harmed to relive my anxiety. Emergency dept has a long wait time and husband cool as a cucumber. I am NOT suicidal

I have emetephobia and my child is I’ll and this is the second time In a month, lots of anxiety and triggers and I’ve self harmed to relive my anxiety. Emergency dept has a long wait time and husband cool as a cucumber. I am NOT suicidal

Chris_Tas No idea on new site
  • replies: 2

Yes a bad day. I don't know how to post in the new forum but I'm Noble in good place. Good luck all, stay safe. Chris

Yes a bad day. I don't know how to post in the new forum but I'm Noble in good place. Good luck all, stay safe. Chris

Ashley20 I hate this life
  • replies: 1

Been here a few times, only back because I'm distressed again. I'm a massive theme park enthusiast and have been a member of a theme park site called Parkz, over the past few months it feels like I've simply hounded, you state your opinion on somethi... View more

Been here a few times, only back because I'm distressed again. I'm a massive theme park enthusiast and have been a member of a theme park site called Parkz, over the past few months it feels like I've simply hounded, you state your opinion on something and it turns into a giant argument, I had to constantly defend myself. 2 days ago, I cracked a joke, and accidentally made a typo, I was hounded for that, had someone say my half of my content is a waste and that it's annoying to read, in other words was called annoying. I reached the end and threatened suicide, a few hours later police knock on my door to check on me. I vented yesterday to parkz, about this saying the bullying on here is horrible and that parkz almost killed me, if it wasn't for police I don't know if I would be here. Obviously the mods of parkz pulled it down pretty quick, banned me indefinitely from parkz, which is fine because I wasn't coming back and instead of thinking parkz might be the problem the asshole moderator, simple stated to "please get help, parkz can't help you, we can't have you continuing here." And gave me lifelines stupid number, which is useless. Immediately saying I'm the problem, yeah I have depression, but for months I've been happy I've been good, for the first time in years. I come back to Parkz, and my mental plummets, coincidence I think not. It's a common saying on that site to have thick skin, and not be sensitive, why would that be? you get my point. They did this to me, they made me want to commit suicide again, and still I want to die. I've been through enough in this world, been bullied like crazy throughout my school years, even by some teachers, why because I was autistic, or as they said spastic. Lost a really good mate of mine to an accident, last thing I ever said to him was drop dead, because we got in an argument. I had a cousin who I considered my brother, turns out he stabbed me in the back, lied used me, got about $5000 out of me, but worst of all he raped a mutual family friends daughter, twice, and almost did it a third time. I was left broken after it. I could go on, but there's no point. Finally I break free and start to feel happy again, and get back involved in something I like, now I'm back here, and I have a difficult moderator basically saying it's your fault, nothing to do with parkz. Anyway that's my vent.

MelissaG50 Too gutless to kill myself, Too terrified to live.
  • replies: 15

Hi, my name is Melissa. I am a 51 year old mother of 3.I joined a while ago, but never really posted or read anything until now, tbh trying to work out how to use the forums is a bit confusing. So here I am introducing myself. Late teens was when I f... View more

Hi, my name is Melissa. I am a 51 year old mother of 3.I joined a while ago, but never really posted or read anything until now, tbh trying to work out how to use the forums is a bit confusing. So here I am introducing myself. Late teens was when I first started suffering from Clinical Depression, but I had no idea what was going on. When I finished Hight School and started working Anxiety and Panic Attacks reared their ugly heads. Then at 25 I was diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, I started working as a clerk in a Hospital Emergency, and whilst there my antidepressants were changed and when i wheined off the first one brand I suffered my first nervous breakdown at 29. Then had 2 more in the next few years. In 2006, my husband and I lost our 2nd child, a son. I hit rock bottom and can't remember the next 3 months. I spent the next 11 years being alive but not really living, then in 2017, when things were going well I enrolled to become a nail technician. I was so excited I felt like I could really make a change. then 5 weeks into the course within 3 days, we had handed over a child we were kinship caring for and had for 4 years (there was major issues with the people handling our fostering setup) and my mother had passed away. It's 5 years later and I am broken, I can't work because I have no self esteem, confidence. I am so lonely because I live in a town without family, which I have cut myself off from. I have no friends because I know no one to go anywhere with to meet to new people. NOT that I really even believe that I am worth while anyone getting to know me. I am stuck because I am too gutless to kill myself and too terrified to try living. Apologies for the post.Thanks for readingMelissa PS. I would never try to kill myself, I couldn't do that to my kids.

stuck_in_limbo Feeling like I'm stuck
  • replies: 3

Not sure if I am after any advice but I am more expressing my feelings.... I never thought I would be one of the people who had thought about suicide. The past few years have been rough, and I suffer from depression, anxiety and PTSD.I feel as I only... View more

Not sure if I am after any advice but I am more expressing my feelings.... I never thought I would be one of the people who had thought about suicide. The past few years have been rough, and I suffer from depression, anxiety and PTSD.I feel as I only am living for my children. They are the reason I am still here. I mainly worry about what would happen to them if I was gone and that has kept me alive.I'm worried that when they get older, they won't need me anymore and I won't have a reason to stay.I can't tell my husband about this or anyone in my life as everyone has their own struggles, and I don't want anyone to feel like they aren't good enough or doing enough to give me a reason to stay.I have no interest in hobbies anymore, nothing that brings me joy. I am always painting a happy face for my family, but it is exhausting.I have come to the point where I envision myself getting sick terminally, so I can finally go, and my family won't blame themselves. If I was to be in a situation where I am dying, I wouldn't fight.I don't know what to do, Drs don't really help to much and I'm terrified of being committed away from my family or being labelled.

white knight Suicide rates bipolar
  • replies: 8

FACTS- 75% of suicides are male, suicide is the leading cause of death between ages 15-44yo, suicides yearly is more than double the road toll and on average 135 people are effected by one suicide. You are 17 times more likely to suicide if bipolar. ... View more

FACTS- 75% of suicides are male, suicide is the leading cause of death between ages 15-44yo, suicides yearly is more than double the road toll and on average 135 people are effected by one suicide. You are 17 times more likely to suicide if bipolar. Research suggests up to 20%Trusted Source of people with bipolar disorder, especially when untreated, die by suicide. A larger percentage, around 20% to 60%, attempt suicide at least once during their life and (from "Healthline"). Talking for myself- I've had one attempt but I want to talk about the few minutes prior to that objective. That feeling comes regularly, say twice a year. It is preceded by a trauma of some description, an argument, a socially embarrassing situation or less often, a tragedy like whale beaching or human suffering. Those are my triggers. When younger it could have included- financial hopelessness or excess criticism of my mother (estranged now since 2010) or bullying. Every person with bipolar suffers differently and I also have dysthymia and that is relevant as my childhood trauma has resulted in extreme sensitivity not dissimilar to HSP (highly sensitive person of which up to 20% of people are). Remember that this feeling will pass and to help it pass, MOVE! walk around the block, pick up a ball, play with your dog. 2/ ring lifeline 131114 or Beyond blue 1300 224 636 , talk. I know how you feel, my job here today is to convey to you that I understand that feeling and I'm begging you to reach out. I would highly recommend the following thread- just read the first post. It's a thread I wrote many years ago of radical actions because in the face of suicide becoming a possibility, we should do anything to divert it. forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/when-all-is-lost-what-can-you-do-be-radical/td-p/47450 TonyWK

Eagle Ray Perimenopausal depression and suicidality
  • replies: 1

I just wanted to share a realisation I’ve had since last night. After several weeks of suicidal feelings and a strange anxious depression, I’ve realised that biological changes I’m going through that I’m now becoming conscious of may be a factor. I’m... View more

I just wanted to share a realisation I’ve had since last night. After several weeks of suicidal feelings and a strange anxious depression, I’ve realised that biological changes I’m going through that I’m now becoming conscious of may be a factor. I’m 47 and perimenopausal symptoms are becoming quite apparent. While there is no doubt underlying trauma issues I’ve been looking into are part of it, I’ve realised the emotions around these issues have been greatly intensified by hormonal imbalances that have become more radical. I’ve just read an article that describes depression as being 16 times higher in perimenopausal women than in other groups of Australians, according to the Medical Republic, a publication by doctors and journalists. A recent study found 1 in 10 perimenopausal women have suicidality. Research has also shown women developing clinical depression during perimenopause when they didn’t previously have it, and others whose depression was under control finding it’s no longer controlled. Conventional treatment approaches to depression may not work as well in perimenopausal depression, from what I’ve read, so I’m looking to see what is known about alternatives. So with this insight I’m going to seek some professional health care advice. Just knowing that hormonal factors are likely involved takes the edge off feeling horrendous. I still don’t feel quite right but I can see the fuller picture now of why things have recently gone downhill. So if you are in a similar age bracket and you have feelings towards suicidality and/or self-harm, this may be another avenue to look at and it can be worth doing some research and talking to health care professionals (even though I know this can seem really hard when you’re in the middle of these feelings). I thought I was going crazy but the unbalanced feelings are making sense. I’ve become aware of parts of myself that split off in the past due to trauma and these parts of myself have been especially distressed in recent weeks as hormones have destabilised. Now more in my attention I can work towards healing and re-integrating those parts of myself. Previous suicidal thoughts have linked to specific traumatic stressful events in my life that overwhelmed me. This time it made less sense but it’s becoming clearer now. It’s kind of a relief and I hope to feel better soon.

Mattie090 Suicidal thoughts and depression
  • replies: 3

HiMy name is MattIm in an extremely dark place at the moment. I’ve been through a marriage separation and my wife that I loved and adored has blocked me. It’s caused me to become very suicidal with no hope in site I have nothing very little friends a... View more

HiMy name is MattIm in an extremely dark place at the moment. I’ve been through a marriage separation and my wife that I loved and adored has blocked me. It’s caused me to become very suicidal with no hope in site I have nothing very little friends and support I’m at the end of my road and don’t see a way out. I have struggled with anxiety for many years I just can’t seem to get through this time.

Supermum Overcoming the need for self harm / punishment
  • replies: 15

Hello all, I am just wondering if anyone has advice re the overwhelming need for self punishment driven by guilt and past abuse/ trauma in the formOf excess medication, inflicting pain on oneself, sexual punishment and risk taking ? I do see a psycho... View more

Hello all, I am just wondering if anyone has advice re the overwhelming need for self punishment driven by guilt and past abuse/ trauma in the formOf excess medication, inflicting pain on oneself, sexual punishment and risk taking ? I do see a psychologist weekly and have input from a psychiatrist who have given me tools to try and help but I haven’t elaborated on the whole extent of my thoughts.It makes me feel absolutely disgusting at times and I am truly ashamed. I try to visualize it just as a thought and not to give it the time and to let it pass but it’s just not that easy at all. I hope it doesn’t offend or upset anyone L

Sadie23 Botched Surgery
  • replies: 3

Hi. I have suffered depression for years and have had cancer for the last 7 years. I had surgery on Monday to fix some of the damage done 3 years ago but it has been completely botched and now I feel completely mutilated. I didn't think it was possib... View more

Hi. I have suffered depression for years and have had cancer for the last 7 years. I had surgery on Monday to fix some of the damage done 3 years ago but it has been completely botched and now I feel completely mutilated. I didn't think it was possible to look worse than I did before. Certainly the surgeon never explained how this could all go horribly wrong. Now I am suicidal. I have been crying uncontrollably all week and can't sleep. Obviously I have no intention of going to post surgery follow up appt but am worried about swelling that is happening around wound. I spoke to another surgeon who has been looking after me for the last 7 years but they won't help because they don't want to upset the other doctor's feelings. Dressings are still on. I thought I would feel better once I got over the anaesthetic but now I am really worried about MH. Any response would be appreciated.