Hi Kitty
I wish there was something I could suggest that could make some positive difference, I really do. It's a truly horrible place to be, where you're at. Of course, I don't have to tell you this, as you're feeling it so deeply.
Do you know what the reputation of the new specialist is like and do you know how long you have to wait to get some results? In my opinion, it's not being at all dramatic to say this is life threatening, the urgent need to experience some sense of progress right now. Are you willing to walk into that specialist's office, expressing your desperation for progress? As a mum, I wouldn't hesitate to do this for one of my kids, which sometimes leads me to wonder why I wouldn't consider doing such a thing for myself. Why are we prepared to do what it takes for our child/children but we don't always represent our self with the same kind of desperation, determination or ferocity?
Based on how hard you've tried, I wouldn't say it's you that's failed. I find it hard to tolerate people who fail us Kitty. I especially can't stand when such people turn it around on us. Sometimes there can be a wake up call when we come across a whole different type of person, someone who goes above and beyond. They don't just basically do their job, they do far more because it's in their nature. Such people are determined to not fail others and I have the greatest respect for these people. They're good for our mental health, our self esteem and our spirits. They're the miracle workers of this world. I hope this specialist is one of those. If he/she is not, would be tempting to ask them if they know someone who can do a better job. Very cheeky, indeed 🙂 Have you considered looking into the latest research in regard to the blood disorder? Certain researchers aim for discovering breakthroughs, new revelations.
