I'm struggling with a breakup

Bunny94 · ‎09-01-2023

Hi I'm struggling pretty bad with a recent break up, the break up is all my fault and I couldve done better or changed but i didn't. And now I'm having suicidal thoughts. I know some people may think "oh it's just a break up". But it's seriously is physically hurting me and I'm starting to regret a lot of things.

I don't know how to stop thinking about the what ifs and what I could have done differently. I have never gone through this sort of break up pain before.

white knight · ‎09-01-2023

Hi Bunny, welcome

I'm so sorry you are experiencing this. I'm 66yo and have had 4 long term relationships 2 of which were marriages including my latest my wife of 12 years. The other 3 were 7,11 and 10 years long and I can say they were all terrible to split from. My first marriage of 11 years involved 2 of our kids which I can say is 10 times worse than no kids. So bad one week prior to leaving (she was abusive) I made an attempt on my life. But I recalled my dad saying "a part time dad for your kids is better than no dad at all". One week later I left and tried to be the best part time dad ever.

So I grieved for 8 weeks - that sad hollow feeling. Then I saw a block of land and bought it, suddenly I was too bust to think about my ex and how bad she was treating me. I then bought a kit house and built it. I worked 3 jobs. After 5 years my eldest daughter came to live with me- why? because her mother was abusing her also. It's called Karma.

I have a few link below that might help

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/depression-distraction-and-variety/td-p/275790

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/relationship-split/td-p/359242

Thankyou for being brave and admitting fault. We humans are not perfect.

TonyWK