Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

This space discusses suicide and self-harm. Consider limiting the time you spend here. To use the section safely, read the pinned discussion.

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Sophie_M Do you have a safety plan?
  • replies: 96

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts wi... View more

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

Sophie_M PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section
  • replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to h... View more

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. ​This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

All discussions

misties Not good enough
  • replies: 7

Here goes, not sure where to start. I am 69yo been married to the most amazing man for 16years but I am jealous when he looks at other women. I feel I am old wrinkled and not trim taut and terrific anymore, he does not understand these feelings as he... View more

Here goes, not sure where to start. I am 69yo been married to the most amazing man for 16years but I am jealous when he looks at other women. I feel I am old wrinkled and not trim taut and terrific anymore, he does not understand these feelings as he tells me all the time I am gorgeous. I have also told him that I do not mind him looking at other girls and I even point them out to him but the other day we saw two gorgeous young girls and I swear he was drooling and he muttered under his breath nice. I was so upset that I got angry he didnt understand what he had done wrong, and I cried for two days. I now find myself covering up I dont want him to see my ugly body. When I get like this I think of killing myself so that I can free him, I feel that maybe I have trapped him somehow... Sorry if I am rambling a bit. thanks for listening

Robert225 Helping
  • replies: 1

I’ll start by introducing myself. Robert, 24 years of age from a small country town in regional Victoria. like most of us here I’ve been battling for some time now, only recently spoken freely about my battle, being an empath my calling is to help pr... View more

I’ll start by introducing myself. Robert, 24 years of age from a small country town in regional Victoria. like most of us here I’ve been battling for some time now, only recently spoken freely about my battle, being an empath my calling is to help provide others with help which most of the time ends with me feeling overwhelmed and requiring help myself. I woke up one morning and said it’s time to stop feeling like a sad sack everyday, so that’s what I did I went and got the help I needed, tried to understand why I was feeling this way, how to overcome it and develop from there. battling depression isn’t always going to be a dark path, help yourself. You deserve to be happy.

Gertie12 What helps the most?
  • replies: 10

My husband has clinical depression and anxiety but in the last 6 months has refused to take his medication. Today I found him crying in the kitchen and he admitted to me that he just made an attempt on his life. This is his 3rd suicidal episode since... View more

My husband has clinical depression and anxiety but in the last 6 months has refused to take his medication. Today I found him crying in the kitchen and he admitted to me that he just made an attempt on his life. This is his 3rd suicidal episode since we've met and I told myself after the 2nd time that if it happened again I would call an ambulance and have him placed on a 24 hour psychiatric hold. But now it has happened, I don't want to do that. Will it even help?? I want him to seek help but he refuses. What is the best thing someone did for you after an episode?

Britishinaus I didn’t feel safe today..
  • replies: 5

It’s been a while since I last posted. I’ve had a really bad day today (depression) and I was seriously considering ending it today. But I didn’t. I chose to go for a walk with my partner instead of waiting for him to go so I could do it. My partner ... View more

It’s been a while since I last posted. I’ve had a really bad day today (depression) and I was seriously considering ending it today. But I didn’t. I chose to go for a walk with my partner instead of waiting for him to go so I could do it. My partner is a psychiatric nurse and is extremely experienced with anything mental health. I told him this evening that I didn’t feel safe today.. was that the right thing to do? I regret telling him and I sort of regret not doing it in the first place. Im so sick of being in pain. Im so sick of being depressed but I know I deserve it.

Sciencegirl I'm not sure what to do and I'm scared
  • replies: 1

Hi all, I'm not sure what to do. I've been struggling with depression and anxiety for a few years, since I was in about grade 9 and recently things have gotten worse again. I have seen the doctor and increased my medication (it's been a few weeks now... View more

Hi all, I'm not sure what to do. I've been struggling with depression and anxiety for a few years, since I was in about grade 9 and recently things have gotten worse again. I have seen the doctor and increased my medication (it's been a few weeks now) was seeing a counsellor for a couple times before I could get my old psychologist back which I have now had one session and see him again Wednesday. I have been up to the hospital (just the general Hospital) 3 times in the last couple weeks, 2 was because I harmed myself. The harm itself wasn't 'bad' but the thoughts just got too much. It was scary but also good because at least I am safe there. So, I'm getting help and I'm trying to do things to help but the thoughts and feelings are still there. The last two days have been very hard it was a week since I went to hospital and harmed myself, but I did harm myself last night and was not sure whether to go to the hospital because the harm in itself isn't bad- it's my thoughts and I don't feel safe. But I also don't feel safe because of anxiety so I'm really struggling with what to do. Today something happened that really triggered my anxiety and Ive had bad thoughts. I'm just scared because I'm not sure what more the hospital can do and I'm not sure how to get through this. Thankyou for whoever listens to this

Dreamergirl Nothing to look forward to
  • replies: 3

Hi. I'm a 40 year old Single Mum. I struggle with mental illness and have been in and out of hospital for much of my adult life. I have two adorable children. It's just I have nothing else in my life. I feel like a failure. I have no job, no hope of ... View more

Hi. I'm a 40 year old Single Mum. I struggle with mental illness and have been in and out of hospital for much of my adult life. I have two adorable children. It's just I have nothing else in my life. I feel like a failure. I have no job, no hope of finding one either. I have no partner and I have no hope of finding romance either. I still depend too much on my parents, it's pathetic. I don't have much in the way of friendships. Growing up, I had big dreams... career, family, travel... etc. Adventure. Now my possibilities seem quite limited. Don't get me wrong, I am grateful for my kids in my life. But is this it? Is this all? I'm a loser in the eyes of society. I wish I could fit in and be a part of life.

mylittleprofile I think about taking my life frequently
  • replies: 3

I try to be a good mother, partner, housewife, employee….. but I feel like I fail in all aspects. I had a terrible childhood of physical and verbal abuse. I smack my 5 year old daughter at times and I absolutely hate it. I have a 1.5 year old also an... View more

I try to be a good mother, partner, housewife, employee….. but I feel like I fail in all aspects. I had a terrible childhood of physical and verbal abuse. I smack my 5 year old daughter at times and I absolutely hate it. I have a 1.5 year old also and he just laughs when my husband and I are arguing. It breaks my heart. I have a plan in my head on how I will do it. I’ve had that plan in my head for the last 3 years. Why have I not gone ahead and just done it???? My house is always a mess, I try my best at work, I try to spend quality time with my two children who I love so dearly. How am I supposed to deal with someone who’s constantly telling me how bad I am at being a parent. Who’s constantly telling me that he’s going to sell all the houses, buy a bus and take the kids. Who constantly tells me that I am the problem in this family. Who constantly tells me that I blame everyone else for my issues. How am I supposed to deal with that? Yes he’s hurting but how is this supposed to make me feel. When I say stop and he doesn’t stop. He pushed me twice today. Never been violent before. The first time he pushed me I accidentally stood on our youngest leg as he was lying on the ground. The second time he pushed me he followed with kicking and another push. I don’t know if it’ll get worse. He says I wind him up? I feel so worthless, so hopeless, not worth being here, like they are all better off without me here.

Yerrrrrp Can't do this
  • replies: 4

I'm ready to end it. I can't do this anymore. I feel like I'm choking to death on my tears and pain. I just can't.

I'm ready to end it. I can't do this anymore. I feel like I'm choking to death on my tears and pain. I just can't.

lily_2680 I keep on thinking about death
  • replies: 17

All I can think about is death, I honestly don't know why I should even try anymore. The voices in my head are telling me to hurt myself but I can't hurt myself right now. I don't want to be here and I'm at the point where I think I need someones hel... View more

All I can think about is death, I honestly don't know why I should even try anymore. The voices in my head are telling me to hurt myself but I can't hurt myself right now. I don't want to be here and I'm at the point where I think I need someones help or to go to a hospital or something because I can handle this. A while ago someone told me to go to a pysch ward but I don't know what to do (I'm safe).

Crepe Myrtle Partner runs away when I'm suffering
  • replies: 8

This is the third time time in 8 months that my partner has abandoned me while i'm in crisis. First time i was bedridden with illness for 2 weeks, he obviously couldn't cope. Second time was the anniversary of my mother's death. He didn't understand ... View more

This is the third time time in 8 months that my partner has abandoned me while i'm in crisis. First time i was bedridden with illness for 2 weeks, he obviously couldn't cope. Second time was the anniversary of my mother's death. He didn't understand my grief. A couple of weeks ago my best friend woke up in hospital, almost died. My dog is dying. Last week he was trying to put me in hospital to help me after self harming. That same day he packed his car (I didn't know this) and next day he was gone. I've been getting help from local mental health people & have more appointments next week. Why must he abandon me? His way of dealing with things is to pretend they don't exist, so right now it's me who doesn't exist. I'm angry. I'm also super strong. I'm also fragile & vulnerable. I'm spending my time caring for my dog and trying to care for myself but the self harm has increased and I don't want to be here anymore. Sending love to all those who are suffering alone.