Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

This space discusses suicide and self-harm. Consider limiting the time you spend here. To use the section safely, read the pinned discussion.

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Sophie_M Do you have a safety plan?
  • replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts wi... View more

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

Sophie_M PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section
  • replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to h... View more

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. ​This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

All discussions

Resviana Don't know why I'm like this...
  • replies: 4

I'm struggling with the fact that I don't have an explanation for why I have suicidal thoughts/tendencies and it makes me feel like I'm being a complete and utter idiot for wanting to end my own life for "no apparent reason" , which ends up spiraling... View more

I'm struggling with the fact that I don't have an explanation for why I have suicidal thoughts/tendencies and it makes me feel like I'm being a complete and utter idiot for wanting to end my own life for "no apparent reason" , which ends up spiraling into self hatred for being so "weak" and "useless" among other things. I was 13 when I first harmed myself and now 16 years later at the age of 29, I still can't figure out why it all started despite having done it multiple times now. I've seriously thought it out over the last 16 years but can never find the reason for why I want to just end everything so badly. I just end up getting slapped in the face with feelings of "I don't want to live anymore" and then having a mental breakdown of sorts over it, which I overcome through self harm. It's never been to the point of being life threatening and I know that self harm even when minor is a bad coping mechanism but I can't seem to get out of that headspace without doing it. I've thought about calling or using the online chat to talk to someone when I'm going through my suicidal breakdowns but I can never bring myself to do it. Simply because I feel like I would just be wasting that person's time when they could be helping someone else who is truly struggling instead. I'm losing my motivation to keep moving forward... When I was younger, I used to convince myself that the suicidal tendencies was 'just a phase' and that I'd get over them as I grew older but now that belief is gone and now the only two things that are still keeping me here are 1. My fear of having to face my family's reaction if I survived the attempt to take my life and 2. My outstanding bank loans as I don't want my family to repay them on my behalf if I do succeed. My reasons for hanging on make me feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place and am seriously hating myself over the fact that I want to end my life without even having a valid reason for it... I feel like such an idiot for feeling this way and not being able to explain why.

Guest_7403 Visualising it
  • replies: 5

I've been feeling a sense of hopelessness, moreso recently then in quite a while. I'm not a stage where I'm ready to act, but its always in my mind. The thoughts feel fleeting, and not deliberate, just a thought that pops into my head momentarily. Iv... View more

I've been feeling a sense of hopelessness, moreso recently then in quite a while. I'm not a stage where I'm ready to act, but its always in my mind. The thoughts feel fleeting, and not deliberate, just a thought that pops into my head momentarily. Ive been googling lately, I don't know why I do it....its usually late at night when i realise im alone in the world and only feel pain inside. Again, im not going to act on it...perhaps it gives me some relief in knowing I could ease that pain if it were to become any more unbearable. Thanks for the space, just putting these thoughts into words.

1SAD1 Anxiety and medication
  • replies: 12

Hi everyone, Since being put on an anxiety medication 4 years ago for depression, I have developed severe anxiety, I never suffered from anxiety before this and was able to cope with my depression by wearing what I describe as a mask, I had a stable ... View more

Hi everyone, Since being put on an anxiety medication 4 years ago for depression, I have developed severe anxiety, I never suffered from anxiety before this and was able to cope with my depression by wearing what I describe as a mask, I had a stable job that i excelled at and had a wide network of friends. While being on this medication I have resigned from my job of 14 years and left my marriage and have no friends left, I self isolate at home with my dogs and only leave when I absolutely have to, even then I take the path of least resistance, I now suffer from insomnia with never ending ruminating thoughts, in all honesty I'm exhausted and so lonely. My home is a safe haven where I don’t have to fake anything, but it is a catch 22, the more I isolate the more I feel disconnected from the world, even putting the rubbish bin out terrifies me in case a neighbour sees me and what’s to have a chat so I put the bin out at 9pm well after my neighbours have. I was never this person that I am today I loved life and spoke to everyone and anything, to people who knew me back before taking medication would say that I was always full of life and always smiling and made people laugh and probably my energy was a bit overwhelming for people that didn’t know me. But now I just sit at home cocooned in a protective shell from the outside world feeling like anxiety is who I am and it is what I deserve. In all selfish when Covid hit I wasn’t concerned as self isolation is what I’m used to and thought to myself this is what I deal with everyday and in a way I was happy that other people had to do what I deal with everyday, selfish isn’t it. I have tried to speak to my psychiatrist about changing my meds but he is so dismissive and thinks it’s just me, I have tried slowly tapering of this medication and then developed suicidal thoughts, in all honesty I’m at the end of my tether, I have no friends no support and a psychiatrist that thinks he knows best, has anyone else experienced severe side effects from taking anxiety medication? If you have my heart goes out to you.

LJpd81 Relapsing
  • replies: 18

Has anyone ever felt they were going ok, and felt they were ok, but then situations or ways of thinking or changes of thought, and suddenly relapsed? What I mean is I was getting better, then suddenly wanting to self harm again? I've been going ok, b... View more

Has anyone ever felt they were going ok, and felt they were ok, but then situations or ways of thinking or changes of thought, and suddenly relapsed? What I mean is I was getting better, then suddenly wanting to self harm again? I've been going ok, but the last few days has had strong urges.

Loula I need help
  • replies: 48

I have Bipolar and the black clouds are pure black. Being told it’s going to go away isn’t helping as it will just come back. I’ve seen my psychologist and doctor today who have put me under 24-7 watch. the only thing making me hold on is I don’t wan... View more

I have Bipolar and the black clouds are pure black. Being told it’s going to go away isn’t helping as it will just come back. I’ve seen my psychologist and doctor today who have put me under 24-7 watch. the only thing making me hold on is I don’t want to hurt loved ones. i hope this doesn't trigger anyone off. i just need help to stop feeling this

ChildHeart Curious if anybody feels the same?
  • replies: 10

Hi, I am new to the forums with only a few posts and to be honest, was unsure if I was even going to post on this topic but you all seem so understanding and compassionate that I have decided to do it. First of all, know that I am safe and not in any... View more

Hi, I am new to the forums with only a few posts and to be honest, was unsure if I was even going to post on this topic but you all seem so understanding and compassionate that I have decided to do it. First of all, know that I am safe and not in any danger I just want to talk about my feelings and maybe see if I can get some clarity on things I've always been scared to talk about. I was suicidal numerous times in my teen years (I'm well into my 30s now) and well..okay so I've been to those quick ten set therapy sessions they hand out three times. Whilst I was able to talk some about losing my parents, I never got around to talking about this. I'm not sure I was even ready to and was scared if I said something they could take action even though I wasn't in danger at the time but my anxiety was making me a little paranoid about it. Anyway, I managed to keep my thoughts and such to myself for the most part and not go into a lot of personal details my parents eventually found out about what I will call my last attempt (I was 17). I guess I was expecting a hug and maybe some questions on why I would feel that bad that I wanted to end my life at that time, but instead, I was met with anger and what kind of felt like blame. Does anybody know why this reaction happened? I guess it's something I have always wanted some clarity on. I mean, I know it would have been a shock to my parents, but I wasn't expecting that reaction. Needless to say, I never spoke about my feelings again at least not to them and not in that way. I just internalised everything. The other thing I wanted to say is I've had feelings as an adult about it all it comes up sometimes yet there's thing knowing in me that I couldn't act on it so they end up just being mere thoughts but do others experience this? You know, the deep knowing that you can't do anything, you won't do anything, but yet the thoughts are still there and you kind of just sit with them until they pass? I'm just curious if anybody feels the same or perhaps could share their opinions or experiences on the matter? Thank you.

Detective_S Hi again.
  • replies: 2

I’m sorry I’m back here again, I promise I’m safe, I’m staying at a friends place currently. Things have turned south drastically since my last post. My Dad has now walked out of my life, I got hit by a car (I’m ok only minor injuries) a fortnight ag... View more

I’m sorry I’m back here again, I promise I’m safe, I’m staying at a friends place currently. Things have turned south drastically since my last post. My Dad has now walked out of my life, I got hit by a car (I’m ok only minor injuries) a fortnight ago, I am now experiencing financial issues as a result, Uni is stressful with final assignments and prac placements coming up, and finally, today I’ve moved out of home because of some issues the rest of my family has had. I don’t know when I’ll be allowed back home, in the big scheme of things it’s not major, I just feel like I’m a stubbed toe away from being pushed over the edge. I’m not coping well right now and as hard as I’m trying not to, I just feel like I need to do something as an outlet. I just don’t know how to move forward from here, any advice would be greatly appreciated. Again, I’m safe, my friend is letting me stay in the spare room at her house. kind regards, Detective S.

P12 Prayer for Work Colleague
  • replies: 6

At the beginning of this week I was told that someone I worked with briefly recently took their own life. I don't know the reason, though I suspect work circumstances contributed. I would like to pray for their soul.

At the beginning of this week I was told that someone I worked with briefly recently took their own life. I don't know the reason, though I suspect work circumstances contributed. I would like to pray for their soul.

Mumma_ST Desperate for Psychiatrist assistance
  • replies: 5

I am the mother of a 16 year old who has been suffering with anxiety, self harm and an ED over the last 2 years with excalating seriousness. Her care team consists of our GP, Paedatrition, Psychologist and a Dietatian. On Sunday my daughter ended up ... View more

I am the mother of a 16 year old who has been suffering with anxiety, self harm and an ED over the last 2 years with excalating seriousness. Her care team consists of our GP, Paedatrition, Psychologist and a Dietatian. On Sunday my daughter ended up in the emergency room where it was confirmed there was a limited amount of damage to her liver. The toxocologist advised we needed to step up her care to include a psychiatrist immediately. This was supported by her psychologist and GP. Since this time I have approached every possible clinic and youth psychiatrist I can find. I have exhausted the lists provided by our GP, the hospital, recommendations and online searching. The responses range from 'books are closed', 'doesn't see youth', 'out of serviced region' or no response at all. I have even had the response "if it gets worse then call the crisis line. I am feeling so desperate and without hope of finding the right specialist to assist my daughter. How is it we can get to the point in our society where we don't have specialists available to assist a suicidal teenager? Recent years have seen changes that now require adult administration of medications prescribed by a psychiatrist rather than GP's rather than stretching our specialist resources so thin they can no longer help the most in need? My ask of this group is twofold. 1) Does anyone have any tips or advice on how I can find a psychiatrist that could work with a 16 year old with the above conditions? 2) How do we work together as a community to convince the governing bodies that the current system is so heartbreakingly broken and there is a desperate need to review processes, policies and requirements required of these specialists - to free up their time to see the most in need.

River92 How to process and deal with a recent suicide attempt
  • replies: 4

Hi Everyone, I am struggling to find ways to therapeutically process a recent suicide attempt. I am trying to remain upbeat and positive about the whole situation, however, I have found that my emotions are fluctuating a great deal at the moment. I u... View more

Hi Everyone, I am struggling to find ways to therapeutically process a recent suicide attempt. I am trying to remain upbeat and positive about the whole situation, however, I have found that my emotions are fluctuating a great deal at the moment. I understand that I am still in the infancy stages of my recovery (the attempt was made very recently). I am someone who generally moves at a very fast pace - the whole idea of taking things slow and being kind to myself is a new but challenging experience. If anyone has been in a similar situation before i'd love to get your thoughts on what I should be doing over the coming weeks to aid my recovery.