Excessive guilt

[Nate093]

Has anyone every experiences unreasonable guilt?.

Going back to about 2011 I accidently concused my workmate participating in a kind of "fight club". I was mixed in with the wrong group of people and this isn't usually me

Forward to about 2019, I learned about post concusion syndrome and what it can do to people (depression, suicide, brain complications etc). I now feel guilty day in day out to the point I feel I don't deserve the basic pleasures in life like sleep.

I no longer have contact with this person and can't make sure he's alright. I just don't know how to get myself out of this mental spiral! I'm burnt out and I feel like I don't deserve to get better as well.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

I have suffered excessive guilt all my life likely due to low self esteem and a parent that was over dominating. 

I'm 67yo but at 19yo while in the defence force I had a fight with a room mate. I later sort a discharge and 2 years later found out he was posted 4 hours away so headed off to apologise. Found him, he rejected it.  Fast forward till 2012 some 36 years later and with Facebook saw his profile. He then had moved overseas so I messaged him... I mean this is ridiculous right? Then his profile vanished.

I've asked friends what they think about this. All said that when I drove that 4 hours and he rejected my apology, that would have been the end of their effort. So why couldnt I move on? Guilt.

The following threads refer to this and worry. I hope you get some value out of it.

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/guilt-the-tormentor/td-p/321604

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/worry-worry-worry/td-p/87808

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/dna-what-you-cant-change/td-p/296595

I can talk more if you wish if you have questions

TonyWK

[Nate093]

Thank you White Knight

Your links helped me a lot. I also come from a family where my dad passed at a young age and I was raised by a narcissistic mother. 

My issue is I also deal with server OCD, in particular real event OCD about harming someone. I'm that damn wound up at the moment I can't even turn on the TV without feeling guilty because it would be considered relaxing which I don't deserve according to my head.