Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

Pinned discussions

Do you have a safety plan?

replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section

replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

All discussions

Sorted by:

Start a discussion

I lose my free will when I'm not allowed to choose death

replies: 34

With the family history of depression, I was so afraid of falling into depression but the more I worried about it the more it will grow out of control. First I could say to myself, it's just mood swing, everybody had bad experience, it will be ok, but it's not. The bad things happened in life triggered the depression that made me feel I could never get better again, I started to lose the basic will of living. It's no longer about the bad thing that happened in the past, it's about losing the will to do the simple things in life. Everything in life seems so difficult, I just don't want to be any part of it. Death become the only hope but it's forbidden in my religion. I started to question my religion, isn't Free Will the gift of the universe? When I cannot choose death means I lost my Free Will. How did I come to this point? Smile, I need to live for the people I love, be strong be brave. But when will this end? I still got a long time to go, and who knows what's going to happen? Hell is better than depression because at least you know it's the worst known to human consciousness. I'm not afraid of hell but I'm afraid of not knowing when I can reach hell. God please save me, I don't want to hurt anyone who cares about me, but living like this is really made it difficult for people around me. What should I do?

Struggling so much

replies: 3

Hi,I don't know where to start. I am 54, father of two. Recently I have been hit by many issues at the same time. I live in QLD, but I have been working for 3.5 years in Melbourne for a company I co-created with others. It has been a very very long separation from my family, made worse by COVID and months-long separations in 2020, 2021. Recently, the work did not suit me anymore and I was eventually made redundant. Pretty much at the same time, my mum who lives in the Indian ocean on a little island called Reunion Island got very ill and I had to fly there in emergency. She almost died on me once barely 2.5 weeks ago, and in total went to ICU 3 times over the last 3 months. I think she is sorted out now; I have found an aged care center for her. Afterwards, I came back to Melbourne, packed my stuff, and drove back to Brisbane to find my mariage in tatters after a lengthy separation... All sorts of things that I had not taken time to process dawned on me in the last few days: How angry (in a vengeful way!) I was at my ex collaborators, how angry I was at myself for having imposed such a hardship to my family for the last 3.5 years, and then the double whammy of a struggling relationship with my wife. This is a lot to take on. I always have had issues of depression which I have tried to cope with to the best of my abilities for the last 25 years, using breathing techniques, meditation, sport, etc, having always managed to stay away from medications. Except for two weeks 13 years ago where I had to take myself to a psychiatric hospital. So that's me. I am back home with my beloved family, trying to mend things and resume my career. I think my big problem is that I am very impatient, and struggling with panic attacks (taking Saint John's Wort). In the last two days, I have felt everything dawning on me, felt overwhelmed and emotionally tapped out. At moments, I have felt like I wanted it all to end, without actually mentioning suicide yet. I had thoughts of suicide in the past, back in 2009, when I walked myself to a psychiatric ward. Right now, I can barely function. So step 1: function, step 2: reinsert myself in my family which has learned to go on without me for the last almost 4 years, step 3: forgive and move. Not necessarily in that order... Not sure... It's just the first few days. I take it a day at a time. Depression and anxiety is such a curse... I hate it...

??? Whats wrong

replies: 158

Feeling nothing, im stepping out my comfort zone, taking risks. Trying to feel something but nothing i dont feel happy, joy no sense of excitement or fear.. just feel alone and sad and cry alot. I was asked why i self harmed i said i dont know . And i dont really understand why i do. But thinking now hey its something to feel... I have to wake up every morning and (GET UP) i have responsibilities like everyone and i have to pretend to everyone that im ok . Work cant have me half there id lose my job.. family annoys me to much for me to have them realise im not ok . So its all fake and pretend all day.. i have about 3 people who i can say im not ok 2 ..but this is been going on so long even i wanna leave and ignore myself. Im uncomfortable talking out loud or to professionals im not sure i will get help but i do think ill lose the 3 people i do have very soon . Maybe just need to pretend with them aswell but im drowning suffocating in myself and this sense of emptiness is so overwhelming i just come undone every night when im alone in my room

What next?

replies: 3

Hello, I haven’t done one of these post things before so I am just going to go ahead and splurge my thoughts out. I am a 17yr old boy that’s about to graduate high school in a couple of weeks. I have been suffering from depression my whole life basically. From being bullied throughout my primary school years which created bad habits for me like being shy, isolation from everyone, and overthinking every life decision. Things only got worse when my parents divorced when I was 14 because my dad wasn’t feeling happy and decided to cheat on my mum. I went through years of pain mentally and tried so many things to try coping. I have been doing therapy for 3yrs and have been through 4 different therapists. I was prescribed anti depressants by my GP a year after my parents divorce, which has been changed either being moved up a dose or being completely a different type of depressant. I have struggled so much and I find it hard to tell people. I was able to tell my mates about everything that’s been going on but then idk what to do next. I am at the point of not knowing what to do next. I feel like I have tried everything to keep me distracted, and help me cope. But nothing works. I did a post years ago on a forum and I was only given replies that weren’t really helpful. And yes, I have attempted suicide, twice. First time I was able to stop my inner demons. Second time I was saved by a random stranger, I never saw again after the incident. I am just so lost and am really hoping that I can get some advice or just positivity or something because I am completely lost and confused.

Update I guess

replies: 1

Well I’m back again so I’m not sure if it’s a good or a bad thing I’m here. I’ve had a lot of time off of all work since I last posted, I’ve been in bed since which I’m not sure if it’s been a good or a bad thing for my mental health. I reached out to my Gp during an appointment for something separate, I felt it was the only way I could’ve said anything I don’t think I could’ve set an appointment specific for mymental health as Id be too nervous anyway. Unfortunately even after asking for a mental health plan, we had to address the more pressing concern (and injury the reason I was in there) first so it was brushed off. I know it wasn’t his fault and it was my bad timing but it took a lot for me to ask for help in the first place and I don’t think I can do it again. I know I can’t stay in bed everyday for much longer, I’m not sure why my family doesn’t just make me. (I know it’s not their responsibility and I don’t blame them) I’m sure seeing someone lay in bed 24/7 doesn’t strike them as normal. this I honestly more of a rant post which is why it’s so unstructured I’m just out of options at this point. another part of me thinks that because I didn’t set another appointment with my Gp for my mental health so soon after I mentioned it to him I’m not unwell enough, I’ve managed to survive this long that he will think that i obviously don’t need a plan. Maybe I don’t? I don’t knowit just it doesn’t feel like living right now I feel like I’m just scraping by.

Finally I have broken

replies: 2

I am 41 yo dad of 3 I get along great with my wife who has mental health issues of her own I am usually the strong one in the family but I have broken down had a nervous breakdown get constant panic attacks yesterday I heard noises in my head saying life is too hard everything is on your shoulders just end it right here the only thing that has stoped me is my children and my wife otherwise I think I would of attempted to go ahead with it I have Been suffering from this s long time but I cannot hide it anymore because it is getting worse

3 hospital visits

replies: 5

I feel so broken. My heart is broke In half, my brain is a fog and my body feels like it has the flu. This is all mental illness. im on 24-7 suicide watch I have a psychiatrist nurse visit daily i have a doctor visit daily i have a social worker check up on me. i have a new psychiatrist coming to my house tomorrow and and appointment with my one in two weeks. no one wants to touch my medication incase I get worse. Plus I don’t think I can handle the side effects. I tried to kill my self twice in one week but failed. the hospital let me out as I have sufficient care. None of my family are talking to me as I’m a mistake and the crazy v person in the family no one loves. i feel so close to ending it. I find know how I’m going to beat this.

Suicidal

replies: 13

Firstly I think mods do thei best. Secondly I feel complete ut of touch with reality. I want people to post freely and express it.

DEPRESSION IS COMPLICATED

replies: 6

Depression is only one word but it has so many meanings for different people. One thing I'm sure of after all this time, is that depression is an insidious disease. You often can't see it just by looking at a person, and it's even harder to explain. In the past year I have tried to be more open about my personal struglle. The most challenging thing for me is when people say, "but you look fine". It makes me feel so frustrated.

Trigger warning. Just venting

replies: 5

I’m sorry but I’m really tired and exhausted with my mental health. I feel like society doesn’t accept men that can go through a mental health issue. I’ve been down for so many years and the only thing keeping me alive is my son who has autism and needs me to make it in life. I don’t have anyone to support me, my wife and I fight over the smallest of things so why would I say how I truely feel? My friends, family, colleagues are all not there for me. I put on a brave face and have even convinced health professionals I’m ok but deep down I’m not. I’m just really down and want this to end. I’m not posting this for recognition or help, I just want to get this off my chest. I think we as society need to take mental health more seriously and our government need to pay more attention than this strategy to just refer to community health and hope the problem goes away by putting their head in the sand. If you’re like I was 12 months ago, please reach out to somone privately, the public system fails at so many points. If you feel like me now and have connections please be honest with how you feel. I’m just tired and exhausted but hopefully tomorrow I wake up and just get on with life which is what every one expects. Take care

Do you have a safety plan? replies: 97

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section replies: 0

I lose my free will when I'm not allowed to choose death replies: 34

Struggling so much replies: 3

??? Whats wrong replies: 158

What next? replies: 3

Update I guess replies: 1

Finally I have broken replies: 2

3 hospital visits replies: 5

Suicidal replies: 13

DEPRESSION IS COMPLICATED replies: 6

Trigger warning. Just venting replies: 5