Three self-care things you did today!

[ecomama]

We can do it BBers, we can do self-care.

Sleepy21 pointed out research that shows self-care REALLY helps!

Please share what you do for self-care so we can get inspiration, ideas and motivation to do it too.

Best wishes
EM

[golden82]

Hi EM & All Self-Carers,

You all do great at your self care. I enjoy reading along. I stay in bed most days with zero self care. I am not wanting to drag your thread down - But really need and would appreciate ppls ideas of how to start. My struggles for self care are:

No energy/strength - recovering from 10 yrs of severe anorexia. & Insomnia so tired and stay in bed.

No self-worth to look after self. Not even the basics of everyday living. Plus depression wouldn't help this.

Never spend money on self. Maybe because homeless many years ago and so always afraid. But this is not an issue now, so I don't know why I don't let myself buy a pedicure occasionally. Which I know would be lovely - but I don't let myself. Instead - put it on bills or away for bills etc.

I really know that self care/kindness would help. It is known - plus the drs talk about it - the Lifelines - all you lovely ppl. And I want 2021 to be better. I don't want it to be with the plans for self care that just remain plans. I am a bit stuck with how to make progress here. Any help with ideas of how/where to start given my limitations would be most welcome. Thanks everyone 🙂

[Guest_1643]

hey golden82

ur no downer.... i always love ur posts

I relate to so much of ur thread and wanted to reach out a hug to you if that's okay. I feel for u

My insomnia has been for many many years, and I've had an eating disorder since 26 - am now in my 30s...

I just want to share a few parts of my journey in terms of where to start
hese were things I had never done during my worst depressions.... you guys can laugh but truly -

Watch a movie from beginning to end (i'd watch bits... 20 minutes only... to punish myself)

Dance to one sing

Listen to a whole CD beginning to end

Read a few pages of a book

Sit outside

Have a hot drink (I'd hav a few sips)

Wash my hair with conditioner.

All of these were my first self-care attempts. Please let me know if yu like any of them or can relate x

[Not_Batman]

Hi golden82.

there is the everyday / autopilot selfcare like bathing, nutrition, etc, then there are the special selfcares.

when it comes to self care it can be anything that helps to boost your self worth, self esteem, mood, etc. And it is different for everyone.

self care can be doing a hobby, doing some exercise, relaxing watching tv, or enjoying the sights, sounds and scents of the outdoors.

if you want to try meditation, then you can listen to some music or podcast or audiobook or do a guided ‘body scan. I have done all of these a lot.

For example;

Today i watched the kids playing under the sprinkler. This brought a lot of joy, to us all, and brought back some childhood memories of doing the same thing.

i continued sanding and painting my woodwork project. Sanding doesnt sound like self care, but its part and parcel of the project which i am enjoying so much.

i could have a nice relaxing bubble bath, which allows me to just chill out for a while. Pedicures and painting my nails is not really my thing, but each to their own 😉

in some cases it is impossible to do the things you once loved like hobbies, Depending on whats going on in life, in which case the guided meditation and focusing on low hanging fruit.

have a go at it. Do / watch / listen to something that makes you laugh uncontrollably.

Not_Batman

[ecomama]

Hey golden82, thankyou SO MUCH for reaching out to us and telling it how it is for you.

HUGE SELF-CARE MEDAL AWARDED TO YOU!

omg I got goosebumps reading your post, it is SUCH an important message to us and you have no idea how privileged I feel (amongst our precious group) for you SHARING.

I would like to give you 1 self-care thing to try each time I post, more today for starters and your feedback if you can?

I absolutely LOVE Sleepy's response, true empathy comes from actually being there now or previously. HIGH FIVE SLEEPS!

WE GET IT.
We get YOU!
I most certainly "get" you, absolutely 100% been there.
I'm nowhere near an expert at this self-care jibe, that's WHY I started this thread!

Hmmm if ANY thing triggers you, just leave it for now. These are NOT suggestions for every single day. Perhaps pick ONE from Sleepy's, mine or anyone's list to try per day, per morning and afternoon, per whatever you like. YOU are the captain of your ship, full steam ahead lol!

These suggestions would be what I would've wanted someone to mentor me with:
* look outside your window and see the sky, trees perhaps, even birds...
* spend a few moments wondering about any things you can see in the natural environment.

* wash your hands with soap after using the toilet - look at your hands rolling around in the soap,
* dry them well - take your time.

* eat something today,
* if it's a frozen dinner then empty it on to a plate and eat in a different place rather than bed.

If you already do ALL those then you're ahead of where I was at the time.

Onwards and UPwards golden!

We have SO GOT THIS!

Lots of love EM and thankyou so much.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX gee that's alotta kisses! LOL.

Today you:
* showed COURAGE by your honesty posting here!
* SHARED your struggle, just as we struggle, know you are not alone,
* had HOPE that we could support you! How sweet!
* came on to the forums which is AWESOME self-care golden.

You can do this!

[ecomama]

Hey Sleeps, LOVE that you're contacting your friends!

Isn't this one of the BEST self-care actions we can do?
I think so.

When I was depressed and anxious and probably had an alphabet soup of MH issues (let's face it lol), a kind psych said... and I still remember it, even tho I don't employ it 100% of the time, I AM better at it now I promise! .. she said... sometimes when we're suffering MH issues, we forget to ask how our friend IS.
You ALWAYS do this Sleepy!
Then she said, IF that friend never asks how you are, be a bit cheeky and say "aren't you going to ask how I AM?" lolol. You sure see the balance in friendships this way.

So I'll pop over to your thread tonight and see how YOU are. Hugs!

Hey Black Haired Blue lol!

Look at YOU! You rock star you!

With flashy nails to match! woohoo, doing well! Good on you!
Love those colours!

Hey golden,

YOU ROCK TOO! Oh the whole forums rock lol!

And if you find a GREAT song to jiggle your shoulders to, let us know!

You are doing SO well golden. HIGH FIVE SISTER!

Lots of love to everyone
EM (I gave all my kisses to golden lol).

[missep123]

Hi everyone!

Today I saw a post from someone I used to be friends with, we are no longer friends and I harboured a lot of negative feelings previously from the things she had done. My main self-care that I did today was that I was gentle to myself! I usually would have a big internal reaction to seeing things such as that but today I breathed, I processed it and told myself that it's all okay.

Two other things that I did was have some relaxing herbal tea and went for a drive.

Awesome work everyone with your self-care!

[ecomama]

Hey missep, that's wonderful.

I really like how you explained what happened and how you reacted differently to how you instantly felt.

I think that's called pretty darned awesome lol... yes AND things like "taking a moment before you respond", 'widening the window', observing your thoughts, emotional intelligence, so many other things.

In the 'anonymous' world of social media, what you did was BIG.

WELL DONE YOU!

I forgot to list my 3 lol:

* was more authentic in expressing my feelings to those around me when they asked. (Instead of just saying 'I'm fine').

* ate healthy food

* asked for help

* put my feet up when I needed to.

EMxxxx

[ecomama]

Hey Not_Batman

Sorry I missed your post! We must've been typing at the same time so SNAP! lol.

Thankyou for your list of self-care.

I love the sound of your sanding project lol I realise it's NOT a sanding project just alot of sanding involved atm. Let us know more if you like!

Also what things have you watched recently that are silly, funny etc?

I saw on ABC iView that some Ab Fab episodes are back.
I found the next one funny but some may not... "Mum" on same streaming.

Remember ABC iView and SBS (as others have told us) is FREE to air.

Also golden, you mentioned stuff about "spending" and we've talked about those issues for us on mine and Bluberry's threads BUT there's a Saving Money thread by Blue's Clues and it's pretty expansive.

I know you're NOT talking about saving money, but how to feel able to spend some of it on yourself from time to time. Oh yeah I get that.

Being homeless can do that to a person. Living in poverty as a child and / or as an adult can too.
So many of us on the forums have been there or are there.
The effects of poverty on us have really far reaching effects on our MH. Hugs.

I'll try to bump up Blue's thread on Saving and her one on Minimalism.

Love EM

[Lillylane]

1. Walked around the garden and noticed all the new growth

2. Talked myself into staying calm. I experienced sleep paralysis as I fell asleep. I’ve had this before so I was able to talk to myself “I know what this is, it’s just sleep paralysis, I’ll just wait for my body to wake up.”

While it’s still something I’d rather not experience, I stopped it from becoming scary. Just really really odd.

3. Called a helpline.

[ecomama]

Hey Lilly

How are you feeling now?

Those are GOOD steps in self-care.

Did the helpline responder "help" you?

I don't like the "odd" thoughts and experiences I've had / have either.

When we share things I think we're hoping someone else can make sense of it for us?

Sharing these "odd" things with friends and family has not been helpful for me, unless they've had similar experiences I've found.

Hopefully someone with enough training and empathy can help.

Perhaps as we educate ourselves about what "it" is, WHY we have these experiences and things we can DO about them... maybe there's healing in that process?

Regardless, these experiences can be alienating for us with our closest people.

Stay connected.

Hugs!
EMxxxx