Three self-care things you did today!

[ecomama]

We can do it BBers, we can do self-care.

Sleepy21 pointed out research that shows self-care REALLY helps!

Please share what you do for self-care so we can get inspiration, ideas and motivation to do it too.

Best wishes
EM

[Lillylane]

Hey EM,

Thanks for asking. Feeling quite ‘off’ and distant. Some sort of self preservation thing.

Calling the helpline did help. The responder was easy to talk to. We talked about what’s been happening. It’s like an emotional burnout. Find it reassuring to know they are there.

I’m surprised and proud of myself that at least during my sleep paralysis I was strong enough to say ‘no’ to fear.

Had a nice cup of tea this afternoon.

[golden82]

Hi Sleepy 🙂

Thank you for your reply to try help me. No judgments from me - I am even worse than that if you could believe. I am struggling to listen to music even - which is something/one of the only things that was 'okay' for me. Before all this I loved music. Then think I was using it as a distraction, escape. Now I am just so overwhelmed that any sound gets me more agitated and irritable. It is like all my senses are on overload and I need to close my eyes and shut it out. So unfortunately cannot even put the music on.

The same goes for reading. I used to love reading. But now all my senses go crazy as per above. But I like your idea of a few pages of a book. Thank you. I am very black/white thinker - all or nothing - and feel like a failure if cannot do what I used to do and read a book. But certainly a few pages is something I could try. Even though it is frustrating to not be where you want to be..it is on the way I guess.

Really like your idea of sitting outside. I have no energy to walk very much - so unless heading out for a walk like I used to, I didn't think about just getting outside and just sit - even on the step lol. Thanks a bunch for that.

Yes, I can totally relate to you too. I feel as though I know you and all of you ppl on the various threads that I read. It seems as though our paths have been fairly similar - and our 'coping' strategies - and learnings and awareness of all this narc stuff and how it has negatively affected us. But Sleepy, I think you are a few steps ahead of where I am at with re to forging your path. You may not see it - but as someone a few steps behind - knowing I need to get to where you are at and beyond..I think you are doing SUPERB! I know there is suffering and this is the stage/s you and I and all of us have to go through; but you are fighting it so well. I am trying...

I have been reading across some of the threads and it seems there are half a dozen of us ladies at various stages on this journey of healing. I am at the tail end. But ever so grateful to have found these particular few threads - only by chance since before Xmas. I think I was/am at rock bottom (hope there is no lower) and that the universe or some higher power meant that I looked at other threads than usual. And it is helping my awareness of where I am at etc. So that in itself is self-care 🙂

Hugs back to you too Sleeps x

[golden82]

Hi Not Batman 🙂

Thank you so very much for your comprehensive reply. It is super helpful to me - and everyone really. I hope to refer back to it as I take some 'baby steps'. I am at an almost stationary way at the moment - and have been for some time now. Whereby I lay in bed and that is all. Not even doing the everyday/autopilot things of life. So definitely not 'living'. I live in my head. And plan to do it - write it down to do. Feel too tired/exhausted/dizzy etc and give up. But the way you put it as essential..is actually helpful to me. Because of course nutrition is essential. For 'normal' healthy ppl. I am just controlled by restrictive mind chatter to not eat - punishment - as Sleepy says. But it is helpful that you posted it as essential - it is that commonsense reminder I need. Thanks.

I really like your idea about the scents of nature/outdoors. I have never done that - I don't think I have paid attention to it. Always social anxiety and thinking of other things. But I think that is such a beautiful idea and that is something I can do and I am certain I would enjoy it. Also the audiobooks. I struggle to read at present. I will try a few pages as Sleepy said. But also could try an audiobook. I used to listen to Podcasts and they can be easier to soak up than reading and having to concentrate.

I appreciate your help/advice and also I appreciate your humour and way of relating to everyone. Cheers Not_Batman x

[golden82]

Hi EM 🙂

And thank you for your loving message to me and everyone here. It warms my heart, it really does. Yes, I ummed and ahhed about posting here - because I am shy/private and a wallflower really. And also as this is such a beautiful, positive, uplifting space for ppl..I didn't want to go against the grain. But I think I was/am so desperate to get out of the place I am in, I just went ahead and posted. And I am so thankful I did - as you, Not_ Batman and Sleepy have been so generous with your time and care to reply with many ideas for me.

Yes, you definitely get it. I know that. And the ideas you have are brilliant. As I really am starting at zero. Hard to believe that it is this bad - but it is. And have no 'med team' of support - as seem to slip through the cracks all the time. They all seem to think I do so much better than I am doing. Despite me screaming from the rooftops at an apt - that may be the only time I got out of bed and saw the world that week/fortnight. I dunno - I think they have no idea how low low can actually be. If only they were a fly on the wall of my flat and saw me day in day out.

I really love your ideas so much - I will aim to try them this week coming, along with Sleeps idea of sitting outside, read a page or two, and Not_Batmans also of the senses when I am sitting on the step, and an audiobook I will google into this. The kindness and generosity of you guys - thanks. It gives me a bit of hope - some ideas to start..

But 'baby steps' - I think your idea of looking out the window is a great one. I keep windows and blinds/curtains closed - to shut out the world and the brightness. All the noise and light seems to hurt my eyes and overload my senses. But at the same time, I know it is not healthy. So yes, instead I could look out the window and try focus on nature things rather than all the overbearing hustle and bustle things I tend to focus on. Flip the mind-frame to focus in on what lifts me (de-stresses maybe even) , instead of always focusing on being stressed. Thanks EM.

And yes, very happy to have you include a 'simple' (not so 'simple' for me lol) self care idea for each week, if you can would be great - no pressure though. You have each given me plenty. And I read you didn't sleep well yourself- so I hope you manage some today/tonight.

Hugs back to you too EM x

[Guest_1643]

Hey Golden

I can relate to a lot of what you're saying. I'd love to hear how u go with anything u try

Ur right that ppl slip through the cracks

It's like they're not looking/listening.... like they miss the very point

I understand how hard it is to navigate the system.. xx

[Guest_1643]

- read a magazine

- watched the new Harry Styles clip (.. it's blessed) was really inspiring and positive

- let things take a little longer today as I was very very tired. Moved slowly, but got there.

[Not_Batman]

Hi golden82.

Sometimes guided meditations are helpful to clear the mind, sometimes they get you to ask questions of life. This is a bit easier, try this if you are up to it.

Sit outside in a comfortable dry spot.

close your eyes

Breathe in for 4 counts. Hold for 4 counts, Breathe out for 4 counts. Repeat.

while you have your eyes closed and you are breathing, listen to what is around you. Can you hear the leaves in the trees rustling? are there any birds? what do they sound like?

what is the most distant thing you can hear? what is the closest thing you can hear?

focus on the sounds and smells.

experience everything that you can gear and smell for as long as you want.

this may help to clear your mind and relax you.

There are loads of guided meditations out there that you can listen to, i just find the nature experience really relaxing.

Not_Batman

[Not_Batman]

Hello peeps.

Cant remember if i said it, but HAPPy NEW YEAR!!!
todays self care.

-had an awful sleep last night so i decided to sleep in until 10. Good move because normally with a bad night sleep id be feeling anxious all day, but not today.

-watched the kiddos do some craft and drawing (and watch them annoy each other)

-sanding, sanding, sanding, painting, rest, repeat.

easy peasy, lemon squeezy.

Not_Batman.

[Guest_1643]

hi Not_batman - i like your self-care list, fun and enjoyable activities and quality time with ur kids

Good on u Not_Batman.

- Watched my show

- took my natural relaxing/sleep aid

- Bought some products to help my foot

[Jstar49]

Hi all, Hi Golden,

I was really touched by your honesty and openness. It sounds like your slowly taking steps to recovery, and thats awesome! I can tell your story has really touched others here, and we're all cheering you on.Big hugs!

My self care for the last couple days was to take a trip and visit an old friend. So good to spend time catching up and really talking. I missed talking to all of you here tho!

I feel really glad to be home and able to prepare meals in my own kitchen again- truly Dorothy and her red shoes are correct- there's no place like home!

My dog was happy for me to be home, as he hadn't been walked the entire time I was away, and I let the chooks into my garden to show them my love,( for a short time anyway! lol) so all is well in my world again. Gotta look after our friends!

Hey RickDawg, your dog sounds lovely! I have a lab- he's the biggest sook! So friendly tho.

Cheers everyone,

J*