Depression and Christianity

[Fly-Away-Blue-Bird]

Hi all

I am new here and it has taken me a while to stop and admit that I have depression. It has taken a while because depression comes in many forms and I would go undetected most of the time because I appear happy on the outside but my mind plagues me each day. It scares me to talk about this because it means that the abuse of the past still has a hold on me and that just makes me mad! Now I am going to share with you about my religion but I don't want this thread to be about tearing it apart, because that would make me even more depressed!!

I am a Christian and I have been for 13 years now. I have been healed from many things of my past but other things remain. I think being a Christian has made it harder for me to admit and to talk to others about my depression because the stereotype I get is that Christians should be happy.. I know that when I go to church everyone is smiling and it is difficult to imagine that anyone but me could feel so sad, so lonely and so different from anyone else. I don't even share on Facebook what I am going through because when I see another friends write something about depression all I see is the typical Christian answers of "Go to God, you can overcome this through him, You will be alright keep smiling, what have you got to be depressed for Christ took it for you, etc etc." Those answers come from people who just don't understand!

So here I am, opening up to strangers.. Please be kind  🙂

[cja]

Dear fellow christians,

I pray that you all find peace and are alleviated from your suffering as I too know all too well the sting of depression. I have recently been diagnosed with severe depression, stress and adjustment disorder by my GP and have been referred onto a psychologist. I have had a really tough year this year and I hope my story resonates with others so they know they are not alone in their suffering. My year started off really happy as I got married but my life has been a slow decline since then. It all started when I exposed a family secret; I was sexually abused by my Father for many years starting from childhood, I confronted him with this and after I found out he was babysitting my 5 year old niece and so told my brother in order to protect her. My Father is denying it to the rest of the family but he confessed it to me. My mother wants nothing to do with me and said she had stopped caring about me. She also said she believes I am lying and the reason for this is because she believes I am a jealous person and that I need serious psychological help. I am not a jealous person by nature. Shortly after that a male colleague who I sat closely to at work started to become fixated on me and followed me around the office, my lunch breaks, after work. He would speak with me at least every 10 minutes and try to get physically close to me whenever possible. He would make casual sexual jokes and I heard him say a couple of times that he smashed his phone against a wall in a fit of rage. I told my manager and HR and they setup a mediation session. He denied everything and the impression I get is that they believe him. I recently found out my husband has been contacting his ex behind my back, looking up women he works on facebook and recently he attended a buck's night with topless waitresses however kept it from me, it was only when I asked what went on at the buck's night did he tell me. We are currently taking a break and I am at an all time low. I pray that others in similar situations receive the strength and protection they need from God right now to help them through this dark time.

cj

[malvina]

Hallo, I'm a new elderly Christian member. I'm having difficulty finding how to post a new topic on new member list and  here without answering someone's post. 

I am delighted to find a Christian thread because it makes all the difference when discussing our problems.  I have had depression all my life, my father and sister was the same with addictive personality  I had medication after having my babies as it was worse then but they had a bad effect on me and I left them off.  Sometimes I manage well.  Other times I get really ill with severe headache with nausea.  My father drank a lot and was addicted to smoking which killed him.  Smoking also killed my sister and she was taking one heap of drugs for her depression.

The fact that I am a believing Christian has helped me a lot, I have never smoked or drank, but lately, due to isolation, I've been wandering over to the hotel and got addicted to playing the pokies.  I finished up feeling quite ill last night after a bout

All the time I am active and helping others I am ok but it is getting more difficult for me as I aged I can't get around the same.  I injured my legs in a car accident which forced me out of the Christian business I had for 20 years.

Thanks for listening to me I'm so pleased to have found you all.

.

[malvina]

I am so sorry to hear about your sad life.  I see so much of my own life in your story.  Family hate to hear the truth about abuse,  They have grown up with pictures of someone that they love and when you ruin that picture they feel betrayed.  I had the same thing happen to me.  Abuse can ruin someone's life.  It is very important to talk it out and get peace over it or we will attract that same kind of people to us.  The more strong in our mind we are - the less these bad things happen will happen to us.  

I hope you will have lots of fellowship here so you can grow strong and have a better life.

God Bless

[Fly-Away-Blue-Bird]

Thank you all for your replies and I am so so sorry that it took me 2 years to reply! Wow 2 years already!! I still have intermittent depression, well i still have depression and it pops up when it wants to! I have found that talking to other people and being real about how I feel has helped heaps! I have found people who will listen and also pray for me which is a great combination and i feel less alien like!

 I have come to a place where I feel at peace being a Christian and not having my life perfect, haha sounds weird but it is a good happy place..

 I am pretty tired today so most of what I am saying prob seems like rambling but I wanted to thank you all for being so lovely and helpful xx

[Doolhof]

Hi Malvina,

Welcome to Beyond Blue and to the Community here.

You mentioned you were having trouble starting your own post. I will explain how I do it, it may not be the best way, but it works for me:

At the top of the Beyond Blue page, select Connect with others and click on that.

Then select On Line Forums and click on that.

Select All Posts and click on that

Then you can scroll down to the subject heading of your choosing, let's say "Staying Well" and click on that.

On the right hand of the screen you will see "New Thread", click on that and you can start your own post!

Hope that works for you!

I will answer your post personally in a moment. Cheers, from Mrs. Dools

[Doolhof]

Hello again Malvina,

I too am a Christian who suffers from depression and stress. In the past I have had some ministers say there is no place for depression in a Christian's life, but to me that is just not right.

Some people just don't understand that depression does not go away no matter how strong your faith is. Christians have other illnesses and diseases, so why not depression.

I'm wondering if there are other alternatives for you other than the pokies. I guess the pokies are okay if you can limit yourself to just a few dollars and a certain time limit, but I know for myself I am not that strong to resist them!

Are you connected with a Church and if so, do they have activities you can participate in? Are there groups or clubs in your region that you could join in, or some volunteer work?

I do understand how a feeling of isolation can make your depression feel worse. Do you like to read, do puzzles, or garden?

Please excuse all of the questions but here comes some more. Do you have family that live close by or whom you can phone? What about friends? Do you know other people who may feel isolated as well at times? Maybe you could get together. Invite them to your home for a coffee or to somewhere close by for a meal together.

Could you contact your local council to see what is available in your region as far as groups and things go. Some Aged Care facilities have activities and outings that the general public can join in with.

I hope God will keep you safe and will guide you to where He desires you to be. You never know, He may have a purpose for you going to the pokies. Just please don't spend too much of your money there. I know how tempting it can be!

Cheers for now and God bless, from Mrs. Dools

[Carmen_Lisa]

Hi everyone on this thread.

I wanted to share a story that I found significant when I first got help for depression 7 years ago. I have had some similar experiences to some of you and thought that as a Christian, I "shouldn't" be depressed. For many years before then I had struggled with a brave face but was wondering if I even had a faith at all.

Grace. Kindness. Love. All things that God shows us. Yet in our depression we forget this.The story is in 1 Kings 18 and 19. It is about Elijah. God has called him as a prophet to the people of Israel. He comes up against the prophets of Baal in an epic display of the supremacy of God. They are all left knowing that God is way more powerful than Baal. Yet when Elijah is threatened shortly after by Jezebel he runs away. He gets to the desert and he wants to die. Die! You might expect at this point (not unlike we might in our modern "every one is supposed to be happy" church) that God might say something like, "you idiot. Don't you trust me? Didn't you just see what I did in that display of my power back there with the prophets of Baal? Why are you so depressed?". But God doesn't say anything like that. Instead he sends an angel with food and water and tells him to rest. After 40 days he comes with a gentle voice and gives him direction for what is next. He also gives him a friend to go with him. 

This is the God I've met in my despair and the God I hope for others to know. Pain and suffering are difficult to get my head around, but I know that Jesus (God's own son and one with him) experienced first hand the worst the world has to offer. Then I know he understands. I know that he is with me in the darkest time. I also know he provides help amidst the pain: a friend, a time of rest, some medical intervention, a glimpse of joy in a child or a summer rain. And always hope. Sometimes just a tiny thread when my head can't handle even what I've just written...but hope none the less... One day Jesus will wipe every tear from my eyes. 

[Doolhof]

Dear Carmen Lisa,

Thank you so much for sharing this message with us all.

Sometimes I just want God to come on down and tell me what it is He wants me to be doing and to just hug me.

I know that He does that through others, that He showers me in blessings. I sometimes just miss them or take no notice when He is trying to tell me He is right here with me.

It amazes me no end, when I spend the night screaming out to God asking why it seems like He just doesn't care, only to pick up my Bible and devotional the next day to read just how much He is there for me!

If only my brain and my heart would believe and remember always!

Thank you and bless you. From Lauren

[Sparkles183]

Hi everyone I just just wanted to share with you what God spoke to me early this year,

we all know what a struggle it is living with mental illness and being a Christian . Sometimes the church seems to judge us and we all know only God can judge it is not their place to judge. If you read through some of my old post you will see how I have been judged by the church and how I chose to get help despite what the church said.

Anyway I was speaking to God early this year and asked him why I have to go through this and why I have to be medicated to control my mood and why does prayer not work for me at the moment?. He replied to me he created the mind that beautiful that man can come up with ideas to help people like us through medication and other therapies. He also made me realise that not many people in the church has an understanding of mental illness and one way I can use my illness for good rather then bad is to help others in the church with a mental illness and help them realise it is not their fault. ....

please do not let the churches judgement stop u from getting the help you need. Remember mental illness does not discriminate, and you will be surprised who else suffers from a mental illness if people opens up and spoke about it.

i hope this helps have a great day Sparkles....

[myownworstenemy]

Hi sparkles,  

Yes it is a struggle to be a Christian living with mental illness and you are right when you say the church is judgemental.  I have struggled with mental illness and Christianity for some time and some people in church simply do not understand or have any idea of the suffering that Christians with mental illness go through.  I really noticed the lack of understanding and being judged since Christmas last year.  I went through a great deal of trauma after having major brain surgery in November last year and my mental health really suffered due to depression, severe anxiety and panic attacks.  I also became very paranoid and even wanted to die.  Some of my friends at church were very understanding and supportive and yet others (particularly a few people in positions of authority) did become very judgemental and suddenly I found myself literally being hauled over the coals for behaving in an inappropriate manner on several occasions.  The thing is because of brain damage and mental illness, I did not know that I had behaved inappropriately.  I thought that I was doing a good thing so yes, unfortunately the church has a lot to learn about understanding mental illness.