Hi
I’m 45 and a Mum of 2 girls... 5.5 & 8.
My depression has got so bad and I’m currently in the middle of changing medications.
my husband and I fight all the time and infront of the kids!
My girls are scared of me because of things I say and do! I love them so much it breaks my heart to see what I’m doing to them.
This morning my husband said to have a sleep in as I’m really unwell and the medication detox is giving me brain zaps and vertigo.
It wa as nightmare. He refused to get up and the time I do and the girls spent the whole morning being yelled at. I was so angry he asked me something and didn’t like the answer I have gave so he called me a dickhead. I burst a fuse and punched the wall and put my fist through it.
My youngest was crying saying she’s scared and this made me even more angry... I just can’t cope anymore.
I have no feelings towards my husband at all to the point I can’t look at him.
i feel like I’ve ruined my kids lives and I don’t deserve them at all.
They are such sweet, gentle girls and I feel I’ve now given them a lifetime of issues because of mine.
I want to just run away as I can’t be here anymore. I can’t live without my husband but I can’t live with him.
Mum sad and depressed all the time and wish I didn’t exist.
i know I need help but I feel like I’m puncihung myself and deserve punishment by my kids hating me. I don’t deserve their love or them.
l feel it’s just all too late and what’s done is done and this is my life now...
im scared and feel so alone !!
