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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Anathemation New to Fatherhood, Overwhelmed and Exhausted
  • replies: 13

Hello All, I'm a first time dad, my daughter was born just over a week ago. Now I'm no stranger to anxiety, I have it and for the most part had it conquered. Long-story-short is that I had a rough childhood and worked through PTSD, depression and anx... View more

Hello All, I'm a first time dad, my daughter was born just over a week ago. Now I'm no stranger to anxiety, I have it and for the most part had it conquered. Long-story-short is that I had a rough childhood and worked through PTSD, depression and anxiety through medication and psychologist therapy. So 9 months ago my partner of 2 years told me she was pregnant, and while we were in less than stable circumstances we decided, after much back and forth, to keep the child. The pregnancy in itself was quit good, I found work and my partner finished university and it was quite a stress free time right up until after the birth. Even the birth itself was a calm and exciting event, everything was great with the daughter. She and my partner are happy and healthy. So here is the crux, I am feeling bogglingly overwhelmed by the change. I feel anxious being at home due to not really being able to eliviate my partners stress in feeding around the clock. When I leave home for work I feel a crushing separation, like I'm going to miss something or something will go wrong. For the past 3 days I've been bawling my eyes out at random times, just because I feel like I am being hit by everything all at once. So I guess I'm here to see if there is a light at the end of this anxious tunnel and if anybody else has tackled fatherhood like this. As well as gain any helpful survival tactics to get through this time. I'm glad to be here and to meet you all.

parii91 dealing with husbands split personalities
  • replies: 1

i have been in a relationship for 13 years and had a child and got married at a very young age. i love my husband dearly but at times i feel like he takes advantage of my kindness. our marriage feels like it has become a father daughter relationship ... View more

i have been in a relationship for 13 years and had a child and got married at a very young age. i love my husband dearly but at times i feel like he takes advantage of my kindness. our marriage feels like it has become a father daughter relationship and can be very controlling at times and i do as im told. weve spoken about it so many times but i just feel like he changes for a bit and then reverts back to old habits. we have so many good times together and we get each like no one else. i couldnt think to ever lose him it would shatter my world. im just so drained from carrying the burden of his split personalities and its having a massive effect on my mental state

Anna_Mac Advice needed for relationship
  • replies: 7

My boyfriend of 8 years broke up with me three weeks ago due to his depression. He said at the time we would never see or talk to each other again, however last week he said he is now going to get online counselling and he won't rule out us getting b... View more

My boyfriend of 8 years broke up with me three weeks ago due to his depression. He said at the time we would never see or talk to each other again, however last week he said he is now going to get online counselling and he won't rule out us getting back together if the counselling goes well. I've decided to leave him be to do his counselling so he can focus on getting well and not feel pressure about us. He said numerous times he doesn't even understand why he ended it but he felt he had too. Has anyone been in a situation like this and is there any advice out there for going forward? Thanks

Guest_1898 Not sure what to do
  • replies: 2

Hey everyone my wife an i have been having a lot of issues, basically i have no idea what im doing wrong, i work a week away at a time to meet our financial needs but every step i take is the wrong one when im home im on eggshells. I work long long h... View more

Hey everyone my wife an i have been having a lot of issues, basically i have no idea what im doing wrong, i work a week away at a time to meet our financial needs but every step i take is the wrong one when im home im on eggshells. I work long long hours an when i get home our child is my resposiblity while im home, i cannot go to see friends as she dislikes them all, i am told im hopeless at doing anything because i cannot clean the house and do things as quickly as she does them also she has told me why should she have to do anything while im home if she can do it while im at work i can do it all while im home if i cannot make decisions as to what to eat or planning what to do for the day she calls me a idiot and argues. It could be a quick make up your mind you idiot or a im not talking to you today. I have noticed she will not get off her phone some nights just disappearing to bed an leaving me alone .if i try an talk while shes on it the phone takes priority. We are trying to find a car to replace our old one but because she cant have what she wants everything else is irrelevant an its my fault i cant buy it for her. I have explained we cannot afford it and we need to buy a cheaper car but its not good enough. It seems everything i do is just not good enough but she gives praise to her friends husband for what he does. I just can't keep up with the jones. Im burnt out an lost, im not sure what to do.

SensibleSummer Support Group Post Breakup
  • replies: 7

Hi, I have just recently separated from my partner. We had been together for quite a number of year. Right now I'm feeling sad, helpless, unloved and unwanted. Would love to know if there's any support group (similar to AA) where I can meet and share... View more

Hi, I have just recently separated from my partner. We had been together for quite a number of year. Right now I'm feeling sad, helpless, unloved and unwanted. Would love to know if there's any support group (similar to AA) where I can meet and share experiences with other people who are in the same situation with me. Thank you.

losingbattle Alcohol and Drug Addiction
  • replies: 3

Male 59 years old. Own business. Entertainment Industry Work is 24/7 Divorced two years ago. No kids. Now drowning in debt.New partner lives with me. Same vintage IT world 3 grown kids 29 30 33 all stable. Becoming her alcohol fuelled ex. I have been... View more

Male 59 years old. Own business. Entertainment Industry Work is 24/7 Divorced two years ago. No kids. Now drowning in debt.New partner lives with me. Same vintage IT world 3 grown kids 29 30 33 all stable. Becoming her alcohol fuelled ex. I have been intimidating angry frightening and worse. Alienating her more every day. Sick of me bitching about work, staff constantly.We don't have conversations anymore. I drink light beer all the time and abuse drugs. She does drugs too but only when I do. Way too much. We never go out together. She goes where and when she likes. Her kids, gym, dinners with girlfriends. I'm always asking what is happening when will she be home long text messages. Borderline out the door. Every day argue about something. Pushing her away and using business cash to finance habits. Cant afford rehab as no phones laptops etc allowed. No self discipline except business Have great shrink but out that door start again. She will start looking for her own place and internet dating again. I will lose it. I am a Disaster waiting to happen Tried AA years ago Flying solo. No support No advice No discipline Only a matter of time business cash flow dies. ATO and finance liquidate me into the gutter Combination of drugs and alcohol to sleep. Or stay awake all night doing admin etc could be done during day if not at pub Doing this tonight instead. She came back from 2 days away for work. Not a civil word spoken Went to bed. Will get to gym in the morning and it will still be going Shrink appointment tomorrow Maybe will help venting. Vicious circle

Caileigh My family is falling apart and so am I
  • replies: 2

In the past four or five months, I've noticed that my parents' relationship has been strained more than usual and I thought nothing of it. It turns out my mum broke up with my dad on his birthday. They've broken up before - when I was eight - but thi... View more

In the past four or five months, I've noticed that my parents' relationship has been strained more than usual and I thought nothing of it. It turns out my mum broke up with my dad on his birthday. They've broken up before - when I was eight - but this time it's a lot worse because I'm older and am noticing things I didn't before. It's also worse because my mum has been cheating on my dad, manipulating him for money and drugs and spending all of our money. Plus my mum decided that she needed his money and conceded to 'having a break' in their relationship while still getting all the benefits of a marriage (even though they're not married). In a short conclusion: I'm now becoming more depressed and anxious than I have ever been before My mum is addicted to multiple drugs (none illegal, I think) My dad is depressed and alone My siblings have no clue what's happening Consequently, I have no one to talk to about this stuff, meaning I feel alone and useless and I've developed emotional detachment from most things So, yeah. I need help and I don't know how to get it. - Caileigh

AmyFrank Feeling Lost
  • replies: 2

Recently my husband told me he wants us to split up. We fight a lot, but most of the time somehow I am to blame. For example, if I bring up the fact that he hasn't paid me any attention for a while and it would be nice if he just asked how my day was... View more

Recently my husband told me he wants us to split up. We fight a lot, but most of the time somehow I am to blame. For example, if I bring up the fact that he hasn't paid me any attention for a while and it would be nice if he just asked how my day was, this will produce a defensive reaction out of him (not my intention) and it ends up in a fight because I end up having to defend why I brought up something that is troubling me. We have been together for almost 10 years, and the amount of times I have been there for him and stayed positive with his ups and downs, has shown nothing in terms of the way he treats me. I feel lonely around him, because I want him to care for me and show me some form affection, a smile, a hug, something... Despite all that, I keep fighting to make us better, I keep trying to help us, but I can't seem to get it through to him that it requires hard work from both sides. When he told me he wants us to split up, it broke my heart. I let him be, I didn't react negatively. Somehow the situation has gotten worse, and to cut a long story short, he has recently told me that he hates me and for me to continue to stay out of his way. This came out of me simply trying to talk to him. I'm finding it very difficult to cope at the moment. I guess part the reason is that other parts of life aren't going to plan either, but the biggest piece stressing me out and getting me down at the moment is this. I suppose any bit of advice from anyone would be appreciated...

Assaad Need help winning a woman’s heart
  • replies: 1

Hey guys I’m 25 and as I was young I never had much confidence and when I was 19 that all changed I made sure I was always walking with my head held high and i would always chase what I wanted and I always got it now I got introduced to this girl abo... View more

Hey guys I’m 25 and as I was young I never had much confidence and when I was 19 that all changed I made sure I was always walking with my head held high and i would always chase what I wanted and I always got it now I got introduced to this girl about 3 weeks ago and we always hang out as we have mutual friends and I love her personality she’s actually my dream girl so I’ve done all the right things always heaving her hand and walking with her but she’ll pull away sometimes I make her laugh like you wouldn’t believe I always but her stuff like heaps of food if we go out everything’s on me I get her cute gifts I take her everywhere but she always comes with her bestie which happens to be our mutual friend and we have gone out once together but was just like 30 minutes and she didn’t talk to me much I have tried every thing to get her to show some affection towards me but noting but she does drop hints like she’ll try and tease me she’ll give me the cheeky winks but nothing seems to work I played the nice guy and nothing I played the serious guy nothing worked I went in the middle and that failed I know how to make girls fall in love with me I always get the girl I want and with her nothing girls normally chase me but I feel like I lose my cool around her as she’s everything I want in a woman from personality to body type to even her hair I don’t know what to do I’m lost every time I hug her she’s like stop like wth lol how am I going to make this girl fall I love with me so we can move forward

Only_me Need help and advice please
  • replies: 1

I have recently separated from my husband and kids due to financial issues with my husband. He had his own business and had a gambling problem and the kids aged 18 and 20 did nothing around the house, my husband worked away so I was already lonely an... View more

I have recently separated from my husband and kids due to financial issues with my husband. He had his own business and had a gambling problem and the kids aged 18 and 20 did nothing around the house, my husband worked away so I was already lonely and it all blew up again and he told me to get out and I said I should have left..... so I did. I now have my own house but it is so quiet and lonely. I miss my family so so much and none of them contact me, I was the problem arguing to fix the problems. I love my husband and we were together for 21 years and I'm really hating myself at the moment and don't even respect myself. How do I try to find a little peace with myself, I have been told by close family that I did the right thing ( they know everything about us) but I feel I have lost everything and I so want my family back but it takes time and even then they might never care. Struggling to move on, just want to go to sleep for 6 months until the pain goes away. So sad and heartbroken, feeling lost.