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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Helenmc I'm at a loss of what to do next
  • replies: 15

Hi everyone I'm writing in hope to get some unbiased views. my husband and I had an argument 9 weeks ago today it wasn't that heated but he says "fine I'll leave" proceeded to get in his car and drive off. I was holding his car door open begging for ... View more

Hi everyone I'm writing in hope to get some unbiased views. my husband and I had an argument 9 weeks ago today it wasn't that heated but he says "fine I'll leave" proceeded to get in his car and drive off. I was holding his car door open begging for him to come inside but he just lost it and yelled at me never have I seen him like that before . 9 weeks on no contact except week 2 a short text message to tell me it was alol my fault. Nothjng since then . he left with thr clothes on his back hasn't been back for any of his things since. He still contributes to thr joint account every week still reads my messenger messages when I send them but won't talk to me. I communicte with him second daily but realise this has prob done my harm then good? i love him we were happy together I don't want to loose our marriage but 9 weeks is a very long time thoughts please

Molly_Rose He told me I was the ugliest woman he knows ~ I'm heart broken
  • replies: 3

My Partner of 8 & a half years & I have an argument during this he told me I was the ugliest woman he knows ~ I'm so heart broken & cant let this go ~ each time I go out I look at all the woman around & think he would think they are prettier then me ... View more

My Partner of 8 & a half years & I have an argument during this he told me I was the ugliest woman he knows ~ I'm so heart broken & cant let this go ~ each time I go out I look at all the woman around & think he would think they are prettier then me ~ this is killing me & I don't know what to do ~ it is causing so many problems for me ~ I don't want to see anybody ~ I have an extremely low self esteem as it is, this has made it 100 time worst ~ his family seem to think being good looking is something really important in life ~ I now don't want to be around his family anymore, they are all full of cosmetic surgery & look so perfect ~ I just don't know what to do to get past this Thank-you for your time

Caity_P My 'sister-in-law' is causing me so much anxiety! Help!
  • replies: 11

Hi everyone, really hope someone can offer me advice on this subject. I have been dating my boyfriend for one and a half years and I have always been super close with his younger brother, who is seventeen. Six months ago, his brother entered into a r... View more

Hi everyone, really hope someone can offer me advice on this subject. I have been dating my boyfriend for one and a half years and I have always been super close with his younger brother, who is seventeen. Six months ago, his brother entered into a relationship with a girl from his school. At first we thought she was sweet, but I realised more and more that she was actually a very manipulative and jealous person due to her own insecurities. My boyfriend and I were very worried about his brother's wellbeing because of the things she was saying/doing to him, so we approached his mum to talk about it. Unfortunately, his mum only defended the girl and did not seem too worried at all. Over time, it seems like this girl has turned her jealousy issues towards me. Whenever we are together, she is 'offended' by something I say. Except, nothing I say is ever offensive, she actually twists my words and sometimes makes things up. For example, I was discussing with my boyfriend's mum how my own brother will probably not go to uni after high-school. This was ALL that was said. Next thing I know, I hear I have 'offended' her (even though she was eavesdropping and not actually in the room) because she is not going to uni and I obviously think she is very dumb and hate her... My boyfriend's brother has expressed to me that his girlfriend is jealous of my friendship with him and would prefer it if he did not message me on social media at all, and did not talk to me as much in person. However, they then turn around and tell my boyfriend and I that we do not 'include them' enough and don't give them enough attention. For some reason, when they gossip about me, my boyfriend's younger brother always tells my boyfriend. For example, he told my boyfriend that his girlfriend thinks it is very wrong that I am friends with my ex-boyfriend and I am disrespecting my current one. She has now messaged me to ask whether I have a problem with her?! I am gobsmacked. My boyfriend and I have done nothing but be nice to her. I feel like she is manipulating the situation to gain more attention and play the victim. This is causing me so much anxiety I don't want to go to my boyfriend's house. Please help!

Selena09 Need legal advice
  • replies: 3

I would like to leave my partner of about 2 years because things are not the same anymore. Sounds easy to just up and leave, only thing is we have a 5 month old son together and he says if I leave I’m not taking our son. Being a first time mum, I hat... View more

I would like to leave my partner of about 2 years because things are not the same anymore. Sounds easy to just up and leave, only thing is we have a 5 month old son together and he says if I leave I’m not taking our son. Being a first time mum, I hate letting my baby out of my sight so it would kill me leaving him altogether. I don’t get a say in what happens with baby although he is in my care 100%, my partner barely sees him because he works night shift then sleeps all day while I am being a mum, cooking and cleaning all day. So I need some advice on legal advice because I wouldn’t have a clue where to start and how to go about it. Things like finding a lawyer, what are the costs, how long does it go on for.. since I am the stay at home mum, I don’t have the steady solid income my partner has so money is a big problem for me. Also I don’t have a licence so getting to a lawyer is an issue because I live in a small town with hardly anything here. I am desperate to get out of here so any helpful response is appreciated.

IsabelAM Trying to help my partner but tired....
  • replies: 1

This is so hard to post and a long story. For the short term advice I'm looking for though is how to encourage my anxious and depressed partner (& father of our three young kids) to cut back/stop drinking. His new anti depressants seem to enable him ... View more

This is so hard to post and a long story. For the short term advice I'm looking for though is how to encourage my anxious and depressed partner (& father of our three young kids) to cut back/stop drinking. His new anti depressants seem to enable him to tolerate more alcohol than before - is that common? When we fight and he realises he should not have yelled at me the way he did, and saying the kids and i deserve he then gets really low, does not try and make things better, resorts to more drinking and stops talking and appears angry with me when I know he is angry at himself. We have been in a vicious cycle of ups and downs for years, so I am confident we will get through this as well but I always worry if this will be the time we can't overcome the black dog...

CKH Where to get support
  • replies: 1

Hi, I am really struggling to cope with an allegation that has been made to me within the family. I don't want to explain in extensive detail but the oversimplified version is that apparently my dad sexual abused this relative as a teenager and my mu... View more

Hi, I am really struggling to cope with an allegation that has been made to me within the family. I don't want to explain in extensive detail but the oversimplified version is that apparently my dad sexual abused this relative as a teenager and my mum apparently allowed/tried to justify it. All three people are grown adults so it is not a current thing. All three I would consider crucial in my growing up and development of my identity (for better or worse) so this has really completely knocked me and just everything about my family and myself. I am looking for any suggestions on what support groups there are for immediate family members of alleged sex offenders and also, if people think using such groups (if any) would be helpful or more detrimental right now.. I have some close friends I have talked to about it and a psychologist but I am feeling really alone in this specific situation and I am just struggling to get through each day.

Onepa Im moving with my husband and my mum wants to come
  • replies: 5

Ok. Long story short, my partner and I get married in three months. After our honeymoon we are moving to a very small town (1000 people) as he has taken a transfer. I'm really excited for the challenge of establishing ourselves as adults and for ours... View more

Ok. Long story short, my partner and I get married in three months. After our honeymoon we are moving to a very small town (1000 people) as he has taken a transfer. I'm really excited for the challenge of establishing ourselves as adults and for ourselves. However. After we told our family my mum has decided she was thinking about applying for a job in the same town. Basically. I don't want her too. I'm really excited about us being out of our comfort zone and having some time to ourselves. Establishing ourselves without our families etc. I don't know how to say to her I don't want her to apply. We are looking forward to it being just us. She takes everything to heart so I don't know how to approach the situation. Help?

Tearsfall Life is killing me and i dont have energyorstrength to fight
  • replies: 8

My partner doesnt drink all the time but when he does he drinks way too much. i keep it all to myself , but have talked to his mum about it i love him with all my heart and i know he loves me. But he told his mum im possessive ot obsessive and try to... View more

My partner doesnt drink all the time but when he does he drinks way too much. i keep it all to myself , but have talked to his mum about it i love him with all my heart and i know he loves me. But he told his mum im possessive ot obsessive and try to control him . She says he needs his space. Well he does what he damn well likes , goes where he wants and if we do anything together he will ask what i want to do . I reply i really dont mind . He makes all the decisions . He controls the money or should i say keeps his money to himself . But i share mine . I apparently have insecurities and issues. But i told his mum that "my only insecurity or issues" is that when he drinks he drives and that iv given up everything i had to be with him. Of course i worry about his drinking . If thats controlling him ? Im just easy going and relaxed but am offended that this is being said. I just want a good future with him . Is this his way of having control because his mum will always defend him? When i spoke to him about this he said he knows im not obsessive or posessive. I broke down at work the other day and was sent home. I feel embarrassed and like a fool im too shy to be a controller and i was just happy to have him in my life am i just being blamed cause he cant accept he is doing the wrong thing this stuff about me came up when his mum try to talk to him about his drinking ... it all got turned around on me . I was told along time ago when people cant accept what they do is wrong they shift focus and place blame on others close to them? im so exhausted i feel im slowly dying inside and dont have the energy to fight

lalatray How can I let go, move on, find peace
  • replies: 3

I've been feeling this way for more than 6 months. I've been obsessed with someone I cannot be with. I am in a long term relationship and it is good and something I need to hold on too. I love my partner but I'm also in love with this other person. K... View more

I've been feeling this way for more than 6 months. I've been obsessed with someone I cannot be with. I am in a long term relationship and it is good and something I need to hold on too. I love my partner but I'm also in love with this other person. Knowing the other person is dating makes me extremely jealous and crushed. I try my best to avoid this person and I think I am gradually distancing myself and it may be working. It is so hard though. I need to move on because I do not want to be with this other person in reality. I feel like I'm splitting into 2. So much so that I often feel lonely and physically disconnected from reality. I was stressed and unmotivated at work, so I quit with a game plan to advance my career and I'm currently looking for work. It is looking positive but change is hard. I feel like am forcing change on myself and I will find new problems and adventures to keep me occupied eventually. Sometimes all I want is peace and an end to these obsessive thoughts of an unattainable person. What can I do?

Daydreamer67 To stay or to leave engagement.
  • replies: 10

Hey I’m new to posting and well I could really do with advice. ive been in a 4 year relationship 2 in which I have been engaged. we’ve had a lot of ups and downs ranging from online cheating. After every time I stayed because I loved him and that I b... View more

Hey I’m new to posting and well I could really do with advice. ive been in a 4 year relationship 2 in which I have been engaged. we’ve had a lot of ups and downs ranging from online cheating. After every time I stayed because I loved him and that I believed he’d change. The last time he did it was just after we got engaged. I left but took him back not long after afraid I’d be alone. the last year has been different I see and notice things I didn’t before he tells me he loves me but I fear he only says it and doesn’t truly mean it. He doesn’t want to talk to me, do things with me. It’s like he’s cast me aside. I’ve tried to make plans to encourage him but I’m shut down every time. We fight and he tells me I’m small minded that I’m not smart enough to understand it or remember it. That he’s boss and I should do as he says. He wanted to move with his family but that meant giving up all my hopes and dreams for my career. I told him I didn’t. He honestly didn’t care what I wanted because he said we where moving and that was it. He’s finally agreed to stay but now I want to post pone the wedding as it’s 4 months away and I don’t know if getting married is the right thing? I’m a hopeless romantic I need spontaneous and affection though I crave the small gestures nothing to elaborate. A simple I love you no matter what. Kind of thing. Though I don’t even get that. He sits on his PlayStation and I feel like I’m jut apart of the furniture. I leve to do things and he gets cranky I love exercise and he hates me doing it in fear someone would try to chat me up at the gym. Hes refusing to postpone the wedding even though I said I’m not ready. Not only because I’m not sure about our relationship but because I no longer see myself when I look in the mirror I no longer know who I am. I want so many things but I feel like they are out of reach . That or he doesn’t approve of them. what should I do? Stay, leave, find myself , accept it and deal with what I have?

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