Relationship and family issues

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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Peter01 I need help
  • replies: 3

Hi, my partner and I have been together for a little over a year now, we got together before that but I was not in a good place myself and treated her terribly...we broke up and when we saw each other again that spark was still there and we hit it of... View more

Hi, my partner and I have been together for a little over a year now, we got together before that but I was not in a good place myself and treated her terribly...we broke up and when we saw each other again that spark was still there and we hit it off. I told her I would do everything in my power to make it up to her and I'm worth a second chance. We have been plagued with problems through the last year, medical issues, kids behavioural issues, ex partners making things hard, financial worries just to name a few. again I have not been easy to deal with because of my wanting Her to always make me feel better and say the right things, she obviously had her own issues and was not Able to give me what I needed so we fell into the Pursue-withdraw cycle instead of me at the time being able to say "hey this is the woman you love and you need to start working together and supporting each other" we used to have a crazy good sex life and I've always missed that, in the past 6 months there have been 2 occasions where we have gotten pretty drunk and later that night in bed she has initiated something sexual which I responded to but in fact she was more or less asleep and does not remember that. she has lost all trust and thinks that I could do this to her at any point, I think it had scarred her so badly she now has drepression. It all came to a head recently when she told me she thinks of it everyday and it's too hard for her and she does not want to be with me anymore. I love this woman more than anything and would do anything for her....In he past 2 months I have tried to make it all about her, cooking ,cleaning , foot rubs just constant attention to show she is worth it but it has not worked. can anyone help?

Doctor who_aspy Seperation anxiety whilst partner is on holiday
  • replies: 4

so my partner who i have been with for 6 years and living with for 6 months left to go on holiday for 2 months this past sunday. It has only been a few days and i am crying all the time and my anxiety is is all over the place. everyone i know is tell... View more

so my partner who i have been with for 6 years and living with for 6 months left to go on holiday for 2 months this past sunday. It has only been a few days and i am crying all the time and my anxiety is is all over the place. everyone i know is telling me to stop crying and that he will be back in no time at all but i cant stop crying and wishing he was home. we wont be able to contact each other much as he has limited access to social media and his phone card does not work. does anyone have any advice for me? i am not a very social person and i have asperger's as well which makes change hard for me. is this normal to be feeling this way?

Roncl On The Shelf by Ronsee
  • replies: 12

I am a young 86 years of age but usually taken for about 70. and married for 62 years. As neighbours near London we started school together in January 1936 aged 5 then went through life together as school mates, friends, lovers, then married - a rela... View more

I am a young 86 years of age but usually taken for about 70. and married for 62 years. As neighbours near London we started school together in January 1936 aged 5 then went through life together as school mates, friends, lovers, then married - a relationship of 79 years. Married in London in 1953 and moved to Tasmania in 1954. My wife suffered from Alzheimer's and was a resident of a nursing home for 4 years and passed away in July 2015. We moved from Tasmania to Queensland's Sunshine Coast in 2012 due to her failing health and to be closer to family. As a pastor I retired from church ministry in June 2014 following a stroke, but have since acted as a chaplain at a nursing home. I walk and swim daily and learning line dancing. I have one daughter, 3 granddaughters and 6 great grandchildren. I have spent my life helping and serving others but now need some help myself. For two years I have suffered from loneliness, particularly of an evening as I can’t drive at night. I am depressed, lonely, and seem unable to fill that void in my life. I miss that physical contact - holding hands, a hug and a kiss. I've tried Internet dating without success as no one is interested in an 86-year-old man. I don't seem to mix well socially as everyone I meet have their own friends or partners. Advice was to join a men's shed which wasn't really helpful for someone my age and interests but suggested this forum. Are there others of advanced years who are active yet also feel alone and on the shelf?

AirJordanFan93 Is it weird I am not a social person
  • replies: 15

If this is in the wrong section forgive me. I have trouble being a social person. People in my age group 18-25 seem to be the most sociable age group of people around. I have never been this kind of person. This is perhaps down to both my mental issu... View more

If this is in the wrong section forgive me. I have trouble being a social person. People in my age group 18-25 seem to be the most sociable age group of people around. I have never been this kind of person. This is perhaps down to both my mental issues over the last few years and my dislike for general early 20s behaviour such as drinking and nightclubs. I have struggled to make friends since high school. I have a pretty good sized group of friends when I was in primary school but when we all started high school most of us lost contact and now I only see a few of them. I struggle to be able to muster up the motivation to do social things with people be it with friends or family I either find myself not caring or I have zero inerest in being around people. Because I don't drink alcohol I feel like the weirdo a lot of the time when around people when they are drinking and am constantly pressured into drinking by others who can't get around the fact I chose not to drink. Part of me would like to change all of this but another part of me is reserved. All I really want is a nice small group of friends and even a girlfriend I can confide in,share things with and like me for who I am.

LukasDad ----->Loving Father = Forced Deadbeat Dad<-----
  • replies: 2

So a week before xmas 2016 my son's mum rings me to ask if I would like to have our son 4 days leading up to xmas day. "I would love too" I replied as this was the first time since his birth (6yrs old) iv ever been aloud this amount of time with him ... View more

So a week before xmas 2016 my son's mum rings me to ask if I would like to have our son 4 days leading up to xmas day. "I would love too" I replied as this was the first time since his birth (6yrs old) iv ever been aloud this amount of time with him let alone special occasions, Fathers day, Birthdays and anything I should be involved in as a loving caring father. Appon their arrival I offered his mum if she would like to come in. Note: I invited her in because I was being polite because she was allowing me so much time with our son I never thought I would get. For this next part it's important I tell you why we separated. We was together for 2.5-3yrs. I should've realised from the first 6 months we started dating but being raised in a small country town I didn't think anything of it. Anyway 6 months into our relationship I came home from work and she had thrown all the Zoo magazines and anything lightly pornography related out of my apartment stating that she's home all day, while I'm at work and doesn't like looking at that sorta thing. And this never bothered me one bit, I even told her "I don't need all that in my life now anyway now that iv got her." As we're progressing the relationship I noticed she was getting worse, to a point were I couldn't even look out the car window without getting my head bitten off. 2.5yrs of our relationship I was being lightly controlled, manipulated and abused. Nearing the end I had a large sharp carving knife from the kitchen pulled on me while I was in the shower trying to wash the straight pine-o-clean(disinfectant) she had just poured all over me from behind because I refused to stop watching(TV) the Brownlow medal(AFL). At that moment I jumped up feeling like I just got pepper sprayed, and shouted, I had had enough and it was over. When I went to the hospital 2 days after our son was born she automatically assumed I was getting back with her because we now have a child together. When I told her I couldn't be in a relationship with her, the next words she spoke to me has/is and still haunts me til this very day and future. She replies quietly yet very angrily "If your not with me! You'll will have nothing to do with my son!" Yes there's Family court orders in place, Yes she breaches them constantly refusing me access, No I don't enjoy her starving me from seeing our son unless I go to her place and let her have her way with me. Haven't seen our son for 8mths now and fighting false allegations in court. To Be Continued

Ponyo421 Mum is emotionally blackmailing & controlling me
  • replies: 3

My mum is a single parent & is causing a strain in my relationship & mental health. I'm 29 yr old & have always clashed with my mum. I always took into account that she's raised myself & 2 older siblings by herself & she has always been my hero for t... View more

My mum is a single parent & is causing a strain in my relationship & mental health. I'm 29 yr old & have always clashed with my mum. I always took into account that she's raised myself & 2 older siblings by herself & she has always been my hero for that. However she is very difficult to speak to. I learnt at a very young age that my mum is not the person I can confide in. I wrote her a letter when I was 10 telling her that I was struggling with being bullied & felt very alone (we moved to Aust from the Phils) when she read it she yelled at me and told I was an ungreatful stupid child. Since then I've self taught myself to keep things to myself. she would not let me go out or sleep at friends houses. Work during high school. Yelled at me for not going to church. Disappointed at all my choices. No arguments I'd take it & give in to her. Ive been with my partner for 2 years his everything to me. He listens. Puts me first. I haven't been this happy. My family home is constant arguments. my mum & siblings however do not allow me to stay at his place my mums strictly wants me home doesn't matter if it's 5am I must come home & can leave half an hour later to go to my partners again. my mum has told me I have no self respect for myself & her & that I will be the death of her. She tells me I'm an idiot for spending all my time with my partner or friends. I want to move in with my partner as we are ready. But my sister has yelled at me & said mum will not allow it unless we are married & even if i Was single I'm not independent enough to move out. They still see me as a child. I started work as a public servant 3 yrs ago & deal with agressive customers daily & come home to be put down or shut off for anything I say. I cry almost every night and my mind is going through scenarios "I should just break up with my partner to make my family happy" I sleep for 3 hrs & my day starts again. It sets my day at work which lately has been affected & have taken all my leave. Ive Micro slept as I drive I am beyond tired. I see my partner everyday because my worries disappear but lately we have argued about the situation. It's causing both of us anxiety & stress i want to tell my mum I want to move in with my partner but am petrified as it will come down to me loosing my family or my partner. i don't want to marry my partner just for the sake of moving out that's not what we want. I don't know what to do how should we or I approach my mum. I'm exhausted.

sandokan wife has left me and feel ike just giving up
  • replies: 16

went to work three months ago on a friday morning, came home to an almost an empty house and my wife had left. Have since been told by her she has met someone 4 years ago and is with him and wants a divorce. I cant believe after 16 years of marriage ... View more

went to work three months ago on a friday morning, came home to an almost an empty house and my wife had left. Have since been told by her she has met someone 4 years ago and is with him and wants a divorce. I cant believe after 16 years of marriage she has gone and taken my life with her including my only child our 16 year son. I am so in shock and cannot face the world and just don't know how to get back up and live without her. I have nothing left in me i go to work and come home to an empty house and i am a real homebody and do not have any friends everything we did was with her family.

Mumma_Ree A wedge in my marriage
  • replies: 5

HI, I am step mum to 2 wonderful kids who live with my husband and I on a full time basis. The kids' mother is really starting to hurt me. Just tonight she decided that while the kids are with her only their father is to have contact with them! They ... View more

HI, I am step mum to 2 wonderful kids who live with my husband and I on a full time basis. The kids' mother is really starting to hurt me. Just tonight she decided that while the kids are with her only their father is to have contact with them! They are spending the school holidays with her and apparently my husband and I talking to the kids was taking away "family time". We were calling to say hi and see how things were going and because Little Miss had her phone on speaker we had to speak loudly. Her mother was listening in and I am now being accused of yelling and raising my voice. But hubby was doing the same! I got so angry all I wanted to do was drive over and get the kids. She left the kids in our care at the beginning of 2016 because she couldn't look after them. She was supposed to see them every second weekend but doesn't. Now she is threatening to keep them and not let them come home. She didn't have the ability to help the kids with their school work, she didn't send them to school on a regular basis and now that they are living with us they have improved immensely academically and are going to school everyday. I don't want to see them go backwards. I feel as though my hands are tied because I am not their birth mother, only a step mother. I get so angry when she tries to drive a wedge between me and my husband and I am scared that she really is doing that. I try so hard to forget about it all but when it comes to her my first instinct is to fight, not fly. Has anyone ever had to deal with this before and how did you cope? I want to be the best mother I can be to these two kids but I don't know if I can anymore. Sometimes I wonder if they would be better off if I was just to leave. Thanks for listening (reading) and thanks in advance for any advice.

Whitma99 Feel lonely but married
  • replies: 2

Hi I'm mark I am 38 and have been married for 7years and have been together for 9 my wife and I used to have a great sex life and was passionate but now a lot of the time I have to initiate for anything to happen. I do house work help out as much as ... View more

Hi I'm mark I am 38 and have been married for 7years and have been together for 9 my wife and I used to have a great sex life and was passionate but now a lot of the time I have to initiate for anything to happen. I do house work help out as much as I can but when it comes to times of us doing anything I get I am tired so don't expect much. There is no passion from her or interest from her most of the time. I love my wife and I don't wanna her to feel pressured but men feel love by having that physical contact and a lot of time I feel like she is doing cause she feels like an obligation or something. I want some excitement and passion I don't know what to do.

Tfgirl Feeling lost and confused
  • replies: 2

Hi I'm new to hear and I guess I'm reaching out to anyone! My son who's 8 is in such a bad place. My ex and I separated when he was 1 and he lived with me until 11 weeks ago when he was telling me he wanted to live with his dad! I explained to him th... View more

Hi I'm new to hear and I guess I'm reaching out to anyone! My son who's 8 is in such a bad place. My ex and I separated when he was 1 and he lived with me until 11 weeks ago when he was telling me he wanted to live with his dad! I explained to him that it will not be the same as when he goes every fortnight. There is school and more rules.. I thought this would make him happy as he was always angry, constantly yelling and thinks everyone doesn't understand him. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do, it involved him moving schools and now him seeing me every fortnight.. he comes over and starts off ok then he goes back to this angry boy again.. I'm so confused and can't have him come back home as I can't cope with the stress as well as my parents who I live with both are effected by it and end up sick over his attitude.. my daughter who's 10 resents her brother and doesn't go to her dads because she doesn't have a warm relationship with him and his new wife is not the nicest of people.. I'm soo lost