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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Peter61 Life long struggle with anxiety. My.parent's who have supported me.all my.life have died.
  • replies: 2

I have struggled with anxiety all my life. My parents have been a backbone for most of my life. 18 months ago they both passed away after 3 years of terrible illness. I was their carer. It was my honour caring for them as they had commited so much to... View more

I have struggled with anxiety all my life. My parents have been a backbone for most of my life. 18 months ago they both passed away after 3 years of terrible illness. I was their carer. It was my honour caring for them as they had commited so much to each other and to me.I loved them and now miss them intolerably. Dad died first from cancer and 3 weeks later mum died from.dementia. It was a devastating experience as I saw it all. The following day after Mum died was my wedding day. I was 56 year-old. since that day I have had such nixed emotions. So much anger and deep sorrow. The whole experience has changed my.feelings about life. During the period where my brother and I dealt with my parents estate we had a horrible argument. It was mainly my anger and it all came out. My brother and I have made up but my sister in law refuses to take to me. She has removed me from her Facebook and said if I contacted her she would bar.my phone number. They are both travelling and I have been isolated from my brother. He does ring and message me but not a word from my sister in law. I just feel terrible. Life scared me now after seeing how life ends. The anger I feel because I keep thinking about those years I cared for my parents thinking I could have done more for them. It was such a horribly difficult time. Then seeing them dead in front of me. The look on their faces after they had passed. I am.moving on. My new wife has been amazing but thus horrible feeling of being scared of what is ahead has really taken hold. Death is final. That is it on earth. Where we go after this life no one knows for sure. I miss my parents and their guidance. I get so angry and short tempered. Why were they taken this way after being good people all their lives. How to deal with these feelings. How do I fix what has happened to our family? How do I deal with this scared little boy feeling deep down inside me? Why do I feel so lost and depressed. I will never see them again. I can't live with these feelings in me. I feel as if I am tearing apart.

Joseph_S hi
  • replies: 1

i am having extreme issues with my family im not sure what to do and am suffering from depression and anxiety is there any help

i am having extreme issues with my family im not sure what to do and am suffering from depression and anxiety is there any help

Becca_Maria Husband dosent want sex
  • replies: 5

I am seriously at my wits end. If I didnt initiate sex with my husband, we wouldnt have it. He is never horny, he never wants a quickie. I cant seem to do anything to make him "want" it. Underwear does nothing for him. I just cant turn him on. When w... View more

I am seriously at my wits end. If I didnt initiate sex with my husband, we wouldnt have it. He is never horny, he never wants a quickie. I cant seem to do anything to make him "want" it. Underwear does nothing for him. I just cant turn him on. When we do have sex, its basically just missionary. I end up in tears ocer it so much lately. He is such a great person, hardwprker and z fantastic dad to our 4 kids, but i just feel so unattractive around him and now find myself fantasizing about having affairs we havr had counselling over this but if we talk about it, it resolves for a week or so then ends up going back to normal until I flare up agsin and get upset about it...repeat.

justaburden What does everyone think?????
  • replies: 12

He and I reconnected on FB last year. We dated over 35 years ago. Both been married , divorced, etc. Both had similar health issues and depression. We have each had some awful relationship issues which have left each of us jaded and lacking faith and... View more

He and I reconnected on FB last year. We dated over 35 years ago. Both been married , divorced, etc. Both had similar health issues and depression. We have each had some awful relationship issues which have left each of us jaded and lacking faith and trust. WE live in different cities but have caught up a few times in the last 12 months. All was progressing nice and slowly and he was ready to move across the country to be closer, but then chickened out. I then got a message to say that he felt he was no good to anyone anymore and was better off on his own and that I should move on. I thought about it for a while, but wrote to him to let him know that I thought it was his depression that was influencing his decisions and that I was not going anywhere and would still be here for him. Things went quiet for a few weeks then there was some idle chatter via messages now and then. But today I got a message from him to say that he was coming to my city to apply for a job (the one he was previously going to do to move to my city when he chickened out). I am quietly optimistic but trying to play it cool. I am keen to know what others think. I had said in my letter to him that I felt moving here would be beneficial to him as there are more opportunities for him and he has all his siblings here. He comes from a large family. In one way I am overjoyed, but trying to play it cool and not get my hopes up. What do others think?

melbourneguy My partner is blaming me for being depressed
  • replies: 2

Hi, I've been feeling a bit down as of late due to a few things. Continual pay cuts at work have left me with more bills than income, I've cut back and still have no money left over. I can't afford to pay for my next car service which is nearly 12 mo... View more

Hi, I've been feeling a bit down as of late due to a few things. Continual pay cuts at work have left me with more bills than income, I've cut back and still have no money left over. I can't afford to pay for my next car service which is nearly 12 months overdue and there's no money leftover to go to the movies or do anything like that unless I fall behind on my bills. I've asked for two pay rises in the last month since I'm now working in a much higher role but I've been told there's no money to increase my wage (I've seen the business account, millions of dollars in a small business that's only been up and running for 2 years in surplus would suggest they could afford more). Last night it was really getting to me, I've told my partner a few times that I'm feeling depressed but she insists I'm not depressed, plenty of people are depressed and it's not me. After feeling depressed last night I wanted to go to bed straight after dinner but my partner wanted us to watch a tv show together so I stayed up and watched it then went to bed. She was grumpy at me as I wasn't talking too much. I wasn't talking too much because all I wanted to tell her was that I'm feeling depressed and I knew she'd tell me I'm not. Today she has sent me a text message cracking it at me for my attitude last night and insisting I apologise to her for my poor attitude. I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle, I feel like I should just apologise and let that be that. She never believes me when I say I'm feeling depressed and I don't know what to do anymore. Struggling for money, hating my job, can't afford to quit, feeling depressed because of it and my partner is telling me I'm in the wrong. How do I fix this?

bubblegum5671 my boyfriend and best friend are close to someone who really hurt me
  • replies: 1

i used to be best friends with someone, then they all of a sudden stopped talking to me. i went to them and asked what was going on, but they said they didn’t have a problem, so we became ‘friends’ again. it wasn’t what it was before, but it only las... View more

i used to be best friends with someone, then they all of a sudden stopped talking to me. i went to them and asked what was going on, but they said they didn’t have a problem, so we became ‘friends’ again. it wasn’t what it was before, but it only lasted for about a week. i started becoming more than friends with someone they were close to, so before i started dating my boyfriend, i checked with my friend to see if it was okay. she said that she didn’t really want me to be with him. at the time, i understood this and wanted to respect her feelings, but it wasn’t really an option for me to stop talking to him. not only did we have a really strong connection, but i was going through a lot of personal things (that my best friend was aware of but chose to ignore) and the only thing keeping me afloat was this boy, so cutting him off wasn’t really an option. i decided to try and respect my best friend by just not bringing him up around her, but a couple days later, she just stopped talking to me again. i was completely heartbroken. not only for losing my best friend, but it just didn’t make sense to me because she had started dating someone who was my best friend (and stopped being friends with me after they started dating) about a month prior. it’s been months since this happened, but since she obviously didn’t want to be friends, i decided not to force it. i didn’t want drama, and it seemed like that was what she was looking for, so i decided to respect her by just staying away. now, it’s been a few months and we still avoid eachother, but it’s so difficult because she’s still in my friendship group. she’s especially close to my best friend, and still is close with my boyfriend. im not trying to be bitchy, but it is my understanding that these things are partly to do with trying to annoy me. i don’t want to be a bad friend or girlfriend but it makes me so heartbroken when i see both of them being so close to her without understanding how hurtful and toxic she’s been to me. i would never ask them to not be friends with her, but i just hate the situation i’m in. how can i stop being hurt by, or possibly change (in the least petty way), the friendship that my best friend and boyfriend have with this girl?

LisaRose I still feel my heart breaking
  • replies: 4

I was in a long distance relationship with my partner for 3 years. I truly loved her... I still do. Our jobs just killed us. We were often moved around and away from one another. It was hard when we were apart. But SO good when we were together. This... View more

I was in a long distance relationship with my partner for 3 years. I truly loved her... I still do. Our jobs just killed us. We were often moved around and away from one another. It was hard when we were apart. But SO good when we were together. This was something special. We spent the first year of our relationship together in the same city and meeting her was the greatest thing that ever happened to me. My heart beated to a different tune and I truly fell in love. She did too. She is the love of my life. She left me 2 months ago. Just before I had to go away yet again. She couldn’t do it anymore. All the long distance phone calls, flights, hotels. I get it. I wanted nothing more to wake up and fall asleep beside her every morning and night. Make her laugh, make her feel loved, make her happy. I know it was hurting her. I was hurting too. But I was optimistic that one day soon that our jobs would finally allow us to be together in the same place. She was not so sure. There was a lot of crying of the phone. A lot of I miss you’s. Slowly I realised that we were calling less often. She was tired from crying and I was tired from consoling her. Both require a lot of energy. She came to visit me while I was away and it was strange. She kissed me differently. Her heart wasn’t in it. I could feel it. Once I was back, it still wasn’t right. I knew something was up. I asked her about it. Many times. But she just said she was stressed at work. I betrayed her trust and looked st her phone. She had been talking to someone else... the way she would talk to me. And the more I read the more my heart sunk. I could feel my heart Slowly cracking and shrivelling. I was sick to my stomach. I fell to my knees. It was the worst feeling I’ve ever felt. My heart was truly broken. She found me and knew. She picked me up from the floor and hugged me for hours. We talked about it. We talked about everything. I should have wanted to scream and shout at her. I should have wanted to hurt her. But I couldn’t. I spent weeks crying. Lying in bed doing nothing. Couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat, lost 7kgs in 2 weeks and looked and felt like a wreck. My career is booming. I got a promotion at work. It’s the only thing I’ve got going for me at the moment. And I’ve had to move to a new city. I’ve left behind the love of my life, and all my friends and family. I have never felt sadder in my life. When im awake I cry myself to sleep. When I’m asleep I cry myself awake. I am truly heart broken

Muddywaters How to help my son deal with not living his wife anymore
  • replies: 3

My son told me today that he doesn't love his wife anymore .He does not know how to tell her as he is scared it will tip her over the edge .She has been suffering from severe anxiety for the past year and a half .She is having treat ment but nothing ... View more

My son told me today that he doesn't love his wife anymore .He does not know how to tell her as he is scared it will tip her over the edge .She has been suffering from severe anxiety for the past year and a half .She is having treat ment but nothing seems to be working .I can see it is taking its toll on him .Just want to help him deal with it .As i don't want him to have a breakdown as well .Anyadvice will be much apreciated

moo1 Alcoholic Daughter.......not allowing us to see our grandchildren
  • replies: 5

We made the mistake of helping my daughter move 2 thousand klm away with her hubby and 5 girls, we also stayed a mth to help them all settle in !!! we had a few drunken moments with her which we handled by going to bed, on what turned out to be our l... View more

We made the mistake of helping my daughter move 2 thousand klm away with her hubby and 5 girls, we also stayed a mth to help them all settle in !!! we had a few drunken moments with her which we handled by going to bed, on what turned out to be our last night there she flew into one of her drunk rages and had a rage at me, I took it for about 15 mins when I then turned on her some thing I never do when she is drunk, anyhow Hubby and I left the next morning, I just needed space from her , every few days since then she has sent alcohole fulled texts that are just horrid, since I suffer from restricted lung disease this come with a fair amount of depresion, which is now spirraling, as she wont let us speak with the girls and says we will never see her or them again !!! I am just so sad, I know she is an alcoholic, but she just cant see it yet !! but that does not help me knowing that !!! I just dont know waht to do

bubblegum5671 my mum struggles with mental health but doesn’t understand mine
  • replies: 1

my mum has anxiety and depression as well as me, but she often makes me even more anxious and depressed. i’ve been to psychologists, counselors and doctors before who understand, but my mum doesn’t. basically someone very close to me is my support sy... View more

my mum has anxiety and depression as well as me, but she often makes me even more anxious and depressed. i’ve been to psychologists, counselors and doctors before who understand, but my mum doesn’t. basically someone very close to me is my support system, and they’re one of the only things that can make me feel better when i’m really down. the problem is, this is usually in the middle of the night. my mum found out that i was talking to them in the middle of the night, and i explained to her that they were my support system but she doesn’t care. now she takes away my phone at night and turns off the internet, so i’m completely cut off from them. everything to do with my mental health gets so much worse and i’ve told her this, but she’s under the impression that i’ll get more sleep. the problem is, i can’t sleep when i don’t talk to them. my sleeping is a lot worse, AND my depression and anxiety gets a lot worse at night. i’ve tried so many times to get her to understand, but she doesn’t listen to me. how do i make this situation okay?

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