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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team will keep it anonymous, its still up for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Flower Earth angel I'm new , sharing some feelings today
  • replies: 3

Hi it's 1am and I'm in bed, i suffer great fears about a medical procedure I need to do, i have had this fear for quiet some time it's dental related I left a friendship/ relationship with a male last week thinking he would at least ask how I am . i ... View more

Hi it's 1am and I'm in bed, i suffer great fears about a medical procedure I need to do, i have had this fear for quiet some time it's dental related I left a friendship/ relationship with a male last week thinking he would at least ask how I am . i don't really work and if I have money I go to r s l clubs and try my luck on the poker machines so I am not alone although I live with parents , I'm in early thirties , they just don't support my career choices I want to take im all over the place study wise won't b continuing and old cours ex wanted to just finish no close friends , I guess I don't think trust anyone anymore. thanks for being here and listening next wek I see a new psychotherapist .. god bless stay safe amen.

Jas-kay Handling a relationship without affecting it when you are healing from depression and anxiety.
  • replies: 3

Hi all, I have mild-moderate depression and I see a psychologist occasionally. I seem to be having this in waves from moderate to mild to feeling ok. One thing is for certain. I feel myself that I am not easy to deal with for a partner in a relations... View more

Hi all, I have mild-moderate depression and I see a psychologist occasionally. I seem to be having this in waves from moderate to mild to feeling ok. One thing is for certain. I feel myself that I am not easy to deal with for a partner in a relationship. Due to my condition at times during the past 3 months that I've been this way I have been more prone to negativity towards myself. I had low self-esteem, self-worth and joy in life. From time-to-time I would experience lack of sleep and cry for no reason at all. Or feel like I'm a terrible burden upon my partner due to the way I am. I tend to overreact more easily than normal, need reassurance of some things, overthink more often and talk more negative in general. I feel like this has started to affect my partner. He opened up to me and told me it's been not easy on him but bless him he's been so understanding and respectful. However he is human too and has at times been resentful, frustrated and annoyed at me without me knowing. I wish I could be that nice, funny girl he loves and I am sometimes when okay but we have had so many constant arguements due to my reactions from my condition that I feel so frustrated at myself. I feel like my condition will ruin my relationship and I am so scared. I break down so much. He doesn't even know. I love him so much but I can't control this fully. What do I do? I feel so bad for him and worse when he had curiously asked how long he thinks I might be like this. I know I'm not easy but I feel so scared to lose him that I'm considering a bit of distance so I don't overreact or create drama to lead to small arguements as I've done. Atm I'm healing myself and getting more okay than 3 months ago. Any advice guys? I would really appreciate it.

possumbottom How do I handle this ?
  • replies: 2

My lovely friend has a new boyfriend and has constantly bombarded me with things they have been doing together and things he has bought her. I am very happy for her but what I don't like is the constant reminders she has a boyfriend and I don't, I'm ... View more

My lovely friend has a new boyfriend and has constantly bombarded me with things they have been doing together and things he has bought her. I am very happy for her but what I don't like is the constant reminders she has a boyfriend and I don't, I'm so close to losing my temper with her and telling her what I really think but force myself to shut up. It's oh he got me this and we did this and he got me that and everything I post on facebook she comes back with a bf related reply. I had to laugh as she picked up I wasn't happy and said i was depressed and she would send her bf over to fix the problem ( my brother) and I thought if I hear about him one more time I will scream. Any ideas ?

Joshhh Relationship I need to hear your thoughts
  • replies: 2

Hey guys, This is my first post on this forum so I'll try my best to keep this short and to the point. I've been with my girlfriend for about 5 years now. We met when we were 19 in the same music course that we were attending. We had been living with... View more

Hey guys, This is my first post on this forum so I'll try my best to keep this short and to the point. I've been with my girlfriend for about 5 years now. We met when we were 19 in the same music course that we were attending. We had been living with my mother for the last 3 years while playing in the same band and working part time. Now we live together in another state away from family and friends in order to pursue our dreams. For a while I've been going through this inner struggle, even before we moved, with maintaining the relationship while having doubts about our musical journey but wanting it to succeed. Although, I'm starting to lose the motivation and passion for music and the relationship. Or maybe it's the other way around. I feel like this whole thing has been unsuccessful and dragging on for too long. Even though I really cherish some of the memories, mentally it has been a real struggle. Through many failures and having family issues I'm currently unemployed and dealing with depression which I now realise was always around since highschool. Even if we were successful I don't think the lifestyle of being in a band and a relationship together is something that can easily be maintained. Even though I really don't want to give up, there is so much pressure. So I've decided to attend a course in another profession which I feel optimistic about. I'm in this phase of my life where decisions like this can change the rest of my life. So I want to hear what some of the beyond blue members think. Sorry about the rant and if there's anything you want me to clear up let me know. Thanks for reading.

soul83 Problems with intimacy and disagreents *Trigger Warning: Domestic Violence*
  • replies: 3

I constantly keep a dim view on porn. I don't like it but I can understaand that if a couple were to watch it together and consent to it, then it could be used to spice things up. But I take issue with my wife wanting to watch videos to get her in th... View more

I constantly keep a dim view on porn. I don't like it but I can understaand that if a couple were to watch it together and consent to it, then it could be used to spice things up. But I take issue with my wife wanting to watch videos to get her in the mood. She doesn't bother to think about me or let me take initiative. She turns to videos instead. I feel like I'm just an object that helps her whilst she watches the videos. I'm saddened by what she does but she can't see it is killing me every time she watches them. In the 8 years we have been together, I can't recall the last time we tried to spend more time in trying to explore each other etc. It tends to be focused on her getting turned on by the videos instead. I cannot recall the last time she was excited by me. She never is. She needs the videos tp serve that purpose. She is pregnant with our first child. She says she loves me and she shows no other overt signs that say she wants to leave or get rid of me. She does on occassion get angry and swear at me. She has also hit me. Help what should I do? I feel powerless and like I don't matter.

whiteXXwolf How do i let the only bio-logical family I have left go?
  • replies: 10

This is my first time writing on a forum so I'm not sure where to startand, unfortunately, i ran out of character very fast I am 27 in under a month and I've been in a toxic environment my whole life. I grew up extremely poor with both parents heavil... View more

This is my first time writing on a forum so I'm not sure where to startand, unfortunately, i ran out of character very fast I am 27 in under a month and I've been in a toxic environment my whole life. I grew up extremely poor with both parents heavily addicted to injecting methamphetamine among other drugs so I was constantly subject to a neglect, malnourishment, abuse and at both houses holds (if you could call them that) just in different ways. My biological mother split from my father when I was three years old shortly after giving birth to a daughter. At 13 my father returned to the state so I jumped ship straight away as i knew even at that age my mother didn't really want me. We lived in a horrible poor environment from 13 -14 moving constantly, hiding my father from the police, him not coming home for days, him and his friends stealing and pawning anything I had. But I still felt so much more loved around that than i ever did around my mother. When i was nearly 15 my father was sent to jail for a home invasion among other things so I was left living alone but was forced to return to my mother when I was kicked out. He got out about a year later and a few month later died and was once again abandoned as she didn't want me originally and this was just more for her so I was left living alone at 16. I had dropped out school after that as I didnt have a place to live let alone worry about school. I had a hard 8 years but decided i wouldnt become them and started to study to go to university after 5-6 years of trying i was finally accepted to one in a diffent state so I packed up and moved asap, and a month before i was to start i had a seizure and broke my back in a place i knew noone. I was in hospital for a long time and not one person called to see if I was alive, could walk, nothing. I knew then that noone loved me but kept denying it as i didnt want to see the truth. There is so much more and so much more she has done to me but I couldn't write it. I dont have any friends and shes the last of my family so I guess i keep trying to ignore all the things she's done and pretend they havnt happened or arnt as bad as they are. She recently betrayed me again after I tried to reconcile with her and i think that was the last I coud take. I dont think I love her anymore, I just dont know how to let go because its the last thing I have and ive tried so hard for so long to make it work even though i know shes evil and its wrong.

Jessicat Loneliness
  • replies: 2

Hi. Lately I have been feeling incredibly lonely and the feelings that come along with it have made me feel really depressed. I have a lot of good in my life right now. A loving partner and a beautiful child. Study is going well and we are saving for... View more

Hi. Lately I have been feeling incredibly lonely and the feelings that come along with it have made me feel really depressed. I have a lot of good in my life right now. A loving partner and a beautiful child. Study is going well and we are saving for a holiday. However I recently had to leave my best friend, and my only friend. She was distancing herself so much from me and her bad habits were starting to really hurt me. The relationship had become one sided so I decided to take a step back for a while for my own well-being. Since then I have felt increasingly lonely. I have tried to reconnect with old friends with no luck, and making new friends is proving to be really hard too. I am becoming so depressed that I am struggling to look after my 2 year old. My old best friend also had a young child that my child loved and there is guilt surrounding that too where I feel like I have let my daughter down. Ultimately I am mourning the loss of a friendship and am struggling so much with the loneliness. I so desperately want to make some new friends to meet up with for coffee and play dates, or have girls night outs.. I want a close friend that I can lean on when things get rough. I'm struggling and I don't know how to go about meeting/forming new friendships, and how to get over my old one. I'm just really lonely and it's hurting so much.

Nomo How to be comfortable in your own skin
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone, This is very new to me - in this generation I've always been a bit out of place. I guess I'm just wondering if other people out there feel inadequate because they can't communicate in the way that is expected now.. it feels so much harde... View more

Hi everyone, This is very new to me - in this generation I've always been a bit out of place. I guess I'm just wondering if other people out there feel inadequate because they can't communicate in the way that is expected now.. it feels so much harder to be heard now that everyone has a platform. I don't mean that in an obnoxious way. I just can't wrap my head around why/how we are supposed to be happy if we are constantly expected to magnify ourselves. I still struggle to look people in the eye when I say hello! Ive suffered from extreme social anxiety my entire life, I don't know how to make myself heard to begin with. I struggled enough as a teenager, and I definitely don't know how to overcome this as an 'adult'. I'm hoping to find some positivity here, I've come to the point where I'm too scared to let people know how I'm ever feeling. I'm honestly too scared to talk to anyone at all. Im really hoping that this could be a turning point where optimism can be found and shared.

Juliet_84 Torn between two men and I'm so confused/upset
  • replies: 10

I don't know what to do and need help. I was with my ex partner for 10 years. I loved him and my life with him. We were very compatible, he was very emotionally supportive (which is important to me), and accepted me like no other, He was my soul mate... View more

I don't know what to do and need help. I was with my ex partner for 10 years. I loved him and my life with him. We were very compatible, he was very emotionally supportive (which is important to me), and accepted me like no other, He was my soul mate. But he could also be overbearing/ controlling, verbally abuse, and, very rarely, physically abusive. After one such instance I left. After being out on my own for a few months, I met someone. He was handsome, funny, and softer with me than my ex and I fell in love with him. We started dating and it was good, although we were less compatible, he required more space than I was used to, and I couldn't talk to him with the same openness as my ex. He also was afraid of commitment, which I was aware of. Then he started acting weirdly, calling me less, saying hurtful things, and finally freaking out and breaking up with me. I was heartbroken, and during this time reconnected with my ex. In anger, I decided that since I hadn't been treated very well by either man, I would see them both casually and continue to date. While I was doing this, my feelings for the second guy (commitment-phobe) intensified and so did his and I felt him falling in love with me, going out of his way to do things for me etc, but things were still very slow, I only saw him once a week,talked about the same. Whereas I spoke to my ex every day, we would go to art galleries, movies, on weekends. He said he was really trying to be better. But I was in love with the commitment phone. However, I also know that first flush of being in love fades and you are left with what's left, the communication etc. So I ended it with the 'phobe' about a month ago and chose my ex, who I love but am not in love with in the hopes that may change. Now the commitment phobe has come back and put it on the line, he's in love with me, can't sleep, needs to see me, etc and I feel weak. My concerns are: - My ex is pulling a charm offensive and will revert back to his old ways. - The now committed commitment phone, while he has some more obviously negative traits (poor/lack of communication, less compatible) is less manipulative than my ex and may also treat me better, be more willing to compromise etc. - I may not be able to recapture my feelings for my ex and we should just be friends. - I won't be able to deny this extremely strong urge to see the commitment phone and sabotage any chance of reconciliation that I have with my ex, who may honestly be trying to be better

jhazavine-rose Struggling Mama
  • replies: 5

Hi Im new to this never thought i would turn to an online forum. But im struggling and when i mean struggling i mean struggling. i Have 3 kids of my own and 1 which is prior to previous person. and my partner im with now has 2 prior anyway its been a... View more

Hi Im new to this never thought i would turn to an online forum. But im struggling and when i mean struggling i mean struggling. i Have 3 kids of my own and 1 which is prior to previous person. and my partner im with now has 2 prior anyway its been a constant roller coaster as he works in the mines and has a roster of 7 on and 7 off. Anyway The kids are ok apart from my 7 year old daughter who is constantly lying stealing little things blaming things on the other kids and smiling about it, she just doesnt care. im under so much stress that she has gotten to the point were now she is physically abusing the other kids. Kicking,punching,spitting,and now choking them my youngest is only 10 months shes also lied to the police saying i broke her foot but yet shes walking on it and jumping up and down ive taken my daughter to see a councilor but its just not working and she refuses to see them. i have asked why she does all these things and she just laughs and says because its fun or lies saying they are forcing me to do it. but when somebody else askes her it changes to because i always get into trouble or its so i dont get into trouble or it was them that made me she told her little brother aged 2 to cut another brother aged 5 and 10 months. ive tried everything i could think of taking things away from her, sitting in corner but it just doesnt work i have PTSD and is an emotional wreck. What can i do because im starting to sleep with 1 eye open. am i a bad parent why she is doing this? Also my Partners Son age 5 has also lied to his school and police saying i have bruised him but when making statement at the police station he changed the whole story and for that i have court tomorrow and struggling in all this he also lies and blames everything on the other kids also and when i ask him he just says because. im so frustrated and hurt i just go into my dark space and breakdown i think i have run outta tears and just ready to end the chapter