Relationship I need to hear your thoughts

[Joshhh]

Hey guys,

This is my first post on this forum so I'll try my best to keep this short and to the point.

I've been with my girlfriend for about 5 years now. We met when we were 19 in the same music course that we were attending. We had been living with my mother for the last 3 years while playing in the same band and working part time. Now we live together in another state away from family and friends in order to pursue our dreams.

For a while I've been going through this inner struggle, even before we moved, with maintaining the relationship while having doubts about our musical journey but wanting it to succeed. Although, I'm starting to lose the motivation and passion for music and the relationship. Or maybe it's the other way around.

I feel like this whole thing has been unsuccessful and dragging on for too long. Even though I really cherish some of the memories, mentally it has been a real struggle. Through many failures and having family issues I'm currently unemployed and dealing with depression which I now realise was always around since highschool.

Even if we were successful I don't think the lifestyle of being in a band and a relationship together is something that can easily be maintained.

Even though I really don't want to give up, there is so much pressure. So I've decided to attend a course in another profession which I feel optimistic about.

I'm in this phase of my life where decisions like this can change the rest of my life. So I want to hear what some of the beyond blue members think.

Sorry about the rant and if there's anything you want me to clear up let me know.

Thanks for reading.

[Croix]

Dear Joshhh~

Welcome to the Forum, I hope the people here can be of use, we come from all walks of life and have a great many experiences to draw on.

I guess the things that stand you are firstly your saying "decisions like this can change the rest of my life". This is something that puts a great deal of pressure on you, particularly where there are no easy or obvious answers.

The other thing is "dealing with depression which I now realise was always around since highschool".

In order to make wise decisions you really do need to be in the beast of shape and if you have depression that is going to color everything you feel and everything you decide.

Do you mind if I ask if you have been formally diagnosed and are currently under treatment? Doubts, losing motivation and mental struggles would seem to indicate that if you are under a regime it needs looking at, it's probably not being effective.

Of course if you are not being treated I'd suggest you see your GP in a long appointment and set out exactly how you feel, as well as what is happening to you in your life. See what happens. I do know when I've been depressed this has been the way back for me.

Depression does seem to get worse under pressure (I'm talking about me now) and you seem to have a lot on your plate. Moving away from home and setting up your own household. Being unemployed - which is a whole different and horrible way to be - plus the family issues and things that failed you mentioned.

Have you talked any of this over with your girlfriend, or anyone else? Having someone you can trust, being able to speak frankly with them and gaining other ideas can lighten the load a great deal.

I do hope you keep on talking here and say what you think

Croix

[Jessicatherese94]

Hi Josh, I think it's really great that you've decided to try something new that you're interested in. Sometimes we have dreams but then they change over time, or maybe they become something else or we lose sight of what we want (or wanted). It's perfectly fine that you no longer want to pursue music and want to try something else. Maybe going on a different path may strengthen your bond with your girlfriend, especially if your new career makes you feel motivated and excited.