I feel like a burden on my adoptive family who don't understand my depression
Your story brings tears to my eyes. Such a difficult life for you. I just want to reach out and take your hand to tell you everything will be okay. That you are loved and cared for. I am so pleased you've found Beyond Blue (BB) forums. Welcome!!
You'll find those of us who respond are not counsellors or therapists, just people who are caring, friendly, supportive and non judgmental and have experience with mental illness. As I respond to your post, I'll be asking a few questions here and there. No pressure to respond if you don't want. Just asking to see if there's more I can do to help.
You say you've had anxiety and depression for a number of years now. Are you seeing a doctor and/or therapist at the moment? It might be useful to see if you could get a visit in. Especially with it being HSC - there would be a load of things going on for you and the more support you get the better. Also the BB home page has a vast amount of resources for young people. Have a look at contacts and support for 12-25 y.o. under the 'Who does it affect' tab.
I remember back to my mid teenage years. I used to argue with my mother all the time. Especially before going to school - ugh. Now I realise that my mum was going through menopause, so her life must have been difficult too. 3 kids, one that passed away and having little support around the house by my father. My mum too suffered from mental health problems, though in those days it wasn't talked about or commonly known. She needed assistance big time. Anyway, I survived and have lived a very good life - with anxiety and depression. At times it feels really difficult, especially those times of stress (e.g. HSC) and music exams. Which instrument do you play? Do you get lessons?
If you need to talk with someone there are a number of helplines and chat line you can use:
Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800 anytime, any reason
eHeadspace 1800 650 890
BB support service 1300 224 636
BB Chat online 3pm - 12am
We'd love to hear back from you. Please let us know how you get on.
I too wish to welcome you to the forum. This is a caring , supportive and friendly place.
Pamela has given you helpful suggestions so I won't repeat her words.
You have experienced so much in your life so far and now when it looks to most people you have a relatively good life you are struggling. Your guardian probably had problems with her marriage before you came to live there. Please believe it is not your fault and an adult should not be putting that responsibility on you. Your guardian maybe stressed and not fully understand that depression is not about being happy. She seems to have a lot on her plate. Have you always argued with her, or only in the last few months? Was there a time when you could talk to your guardian without arguing?
Some people feel that if someone they are close too is depressed it reflects on them. I had an ex partner who felt guilty if I was depressed so I would hide it and it made it first.
Is there a counsellor at school , or a teacher you can talk to?, So you could talk about what is happening an how it may or already has affected your studies.
My brother is adopted and we had two foster children at different times in our family.
You seem very mature and practical . Like Pamela I think going to see a doctor if you have not already done so,would be a good idea.
I really appreciate that you have shared your story in such an articulate way. You write very well and express yourself.
Hey? Just following up to see how you are going?
You mention HSC... Could you talk to someone at school? I am thinking of counseling services. They exist at the school my children attend. Some schools also have chaplains you can speak to. They might be able to give you advice on the next steps and other useful resources?