I found my boyfriend is addicted to pornography in social media
Hello and welcome to beyond blue.
It is sad to read what your partner is doing and the impact that it is having on you.
I hope/suspect these are things you are talking about with your psychologist, so I would not want to interfere in that process, and together you will find the answer to these matters and what you should do.
However, I wonder if you have been able to have a chat with your partner about the effect his actions are having on you? You say that you no longer trust him. You are now seeing a psychologist as well. Communication within a relationship is fundamental, and if you can have that conversation, that might help. (As opposed to telling him to stop. The end result would be the same, just the approach is different.) Perhaps find out the need for him to look at those pictures?
Also, what would say to a friend who presented you with this story?
Sorry, if this does not answer your questions, but I am listening to you. This is a safe space and you will be supported by the user community here.
Hello Tim, thanks for your answer and your help. Yes, I ve talk to him many times before and the last time that happened (couple of weeks ago) I talked to him more seriously and I could tell him the consequences we will have if he continues doing it. He said has been behaving well the last two weeks and I have checked his phone and seems nothing suspicious there again but my mistrust makes me think he will do it again, maybe not now but yes I’m the future. He has made me this so many times that I don’t really trust on him. I have talked to my psicologist, she helped me a lot and although I’m more close with him now after the last time he did it, I’m still not feeling well at all. I keep looking his phone, I keep thinking about it at work, makes me scary about the future... Is hard.
I’ll try again with him but I’m not sure what would happen.
I don’t really know why he does, I asked him some times and he answered is because he used to do it all the time when he was single and I said, there is not reason to do it now because you have partner and I deserve respect. He used to feel guilty and cries when we talk about it.
Is sad because our relationship is beautiful, I try to be the best with him, always caring, I pleased him in every sense, I used to be funny and active with him, I like cook for him, etc. So I don’t find a reason why.
Thanks for read 🙂
I believe in patterns... do something once. OK. Do same thing twice and a pattern is established. Do it again, and it the pattern is reinforced. So him stopping once and starting again, would establish a pattern of "needing" to view porn? In doing so, because of what his actions you feel betrayed? anger? I would probably have trust issues myself? If the other person does stop, there might be this lingering doubt of watching it again? These things become like (or are) an addiction. One could question whether this is on the same level as alcohol or drugs, but can still be an addiction and treated accordingly, and with compassion?
There are other threads on the forums with similar stories and ideas to deal with...
If you do a google search on "porn addiction beyond blue" you find other stories, similar to yours and hopefully idea you might be able to use.