Immediate support
Immediate support

Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

Start a discussion

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

View the FAQ

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

View the guidelines
Jump to
Start a discussion

Pinned discussions

Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

All discussions

Start a discussion

lvgd Depression and insecurity issues affecting relationship.
  • replies: 2

Hey guys, In December I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder and commenced therapy after making the personal choice that I didn't want to be put on medication yet. I began therapy however felt like I just couldn't connect with my therapist an... View more

Hey guys, In December I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder and commenced therapy after making the personal choice that I didn't want to be put on medication yet. I began therapy however felt like I just couldn't connect with my therapist and subsequently held back from expressing how I was feeling. Since then I have gotten significantly worse (am going back to the doctor tomorrow), and in the past couple of months it has severely affected my relationship. As a couple we now have more bad moments than we do good. We are constantly fighting and I get the feeling my boyfriend doesn't want to spend time with me anymore as I am making him miserable and stressing him out. Suddenly I am extremely insecure and have massive trust issues, and it's causing a lot of arguments and I spend most of my days crying and not wanting to get out of bed. My boyfriend doesn't communicate with me as well as he probably should, but the other day he told me I am "too clingy and overly affectionate" and openly told me that I "stress him out" which obviously hurt my self esteem and made me very upset, but I can see where he is coming from. Lately, if he goes out with the boys I spend the night panicking and desperately trying to contact him because I'm worried about him being with another girl or something like that. I have never been like this before in the 2 years we've been dating and I have absolutely no reason not to trust him, and it's really hurting me that I don't know what has come over me. I'm genuinely scared that he's going to lose interest in me or find someone better, so I'm constantly asking him for reassurance that he loves me and can tell he's annoyed by it. Basically these sudden insecurity issues are causing huge issues and I fear the worst for our relationship if I don't sort it out. I don't really have anyone to turn to so I'm basically looking for advice from people who have been in this situation on how I can fix this before it gets even worse

Gracie_Lee Hullo, trying to know who I am and to feel better
  • replies: 2

Hi Everyone, I'm feeling like a fraud for being on here. So many brave people facing real difficulties and I feel like maybe I need to just suck it up because there are no traumatic events in my past. But I've been feeling like life trundles along al... View more

Hi Everyone, I'm feeling like a fraud for being on here. So many brave people facing real difficulties and I feel like maybe I need to just suck it up because there are no traumatic events in my past. But I've been feeling like life trundles along alternating between really crap and ok, there's never any feeling of happiness or excitement. So I went to the doc (my anxiety through the roof, asking for help isn't my forte), he was really understanding and referred me to a psycologist but she didn't read his notes. She referred me back to GP for blood test. Again GP didn't access the notes. Got the blood test and thought I could call for the results but they didn't call back yesterday and today say I need to go in. They all asked me was there domestic violence. There isn't but I feel anxious they won't believe me or it'll be frowned on that I'm asking for help when I should get on with things myself. I asked for a referral to help me with my child too, again was asked was there domestic violence. (It would really affect my work if it was thought there was) I'm feeling myself slipping back in to the mode of acceptance and trundle along and don't expect anything better and avoid the anguish and anxiety of telling people how I feel. It's all starting to feel like it's too hard to ask for help.

Toretto Do i give her another chance?
  • replies: 17

Hi, i've been with my wife for just over 19 years and we 5 beautiful kids together. About 5 years ago i found out that she was having an affair so we separated and i moved out. We got back together after a month. She started a new job which i thought... View more

Hi, i've been with my wife for just over 19 years and we 5 beautiful kids together. About 5 years ago i found out that she was having an affair so we separated and i moved out. We got back together after a month. She started a new job which i thought would be a great help for our family as we could do with the extra money. In february this year i started noticing that she was acting really weird, very distant, wasn't eating much, lost weight, started wearing sexy underwear to work, always had her phone with her and always on silent, wouldn't come home after work, left really early for work, hadn't had sex in over 3 weeks, etc. She's always on facebook, posting photos (some a bit revealing) and getting a lot of messages. I questioned her about all this and i was told that there wasn't anything going on and that there wasn't anyone else. (She even swore on our kids lives). I did notice that one bloke she works with kept on liking nearly everything she was uploading..... On Wednesday she came home from work and told me that it was over between us and there was no chance of us getting back together, she had fallen out of love with me and didn't want to work it out or go to counselling. I was an absolute mess, my whole world was shattered. i was in a very bad way for the next few days. On Friday (2 days later) when she had just finished work and was supposed to go home a friend of mine seen her car and another car parked side by side in a car park hidden away from any main road. My friend described the other car and wrote down the plate. He then seen my wife and some bloke from her work get out of the back seat of his car then opened his boot and took his baby seat out and put it back inside his car. My friend called me and told me what he had just seen. Next thing you know my wife calls me and tells me that she was there thinking about our relationship and mentioned that she had seen my friend. On Monday she messages me and says that she wants us to work it out and get our relationship back where it used to be. On Tuesday (the very next day) she called me and said she was on her way home but I found her with the same guy in a different car park in the back seat of his car...They weren't doing anything only talking at this point. I found out later that they were sending nudes to eachother and meeting up. I find it hard to believe that they would only meet up to talk as she said to me. Do I give her another chance for the sake of our family or walk away...

KittyMouse Struggling to decide
  • replies: 2

Hi, I’ve recently moved it of house with my partner of 7 years before we were both living with my parents as we were saving to build. Ok so I have a very close relationship with my mum and I’ve moved 40mins away from her now. I find I’m missing her a... View more

Hi, I’ve recently moved it of house with my partner of 7 years before we were both living with my parents as we were saving to build. Ok so I have a very close relationship with my mum and I’ve moved 40mins away from her now. I find I’m missing her and the late night conversations we had on the lounge and just the little things we used to do together. My Partner suffers from Anxiety and Homebase it a massive trigger for him, so we didn’t have a good first few months in our house. Now he’s talking about wanting us to move back to where he’s originally from which is 2 hrs away. I start to feel really bad and upset because I don’t want to move further away from my mum because I don’t think I will be able to handle it but than I want to be supportive of him. Am I just being selfish? And should I suck it up and go or is this something someone else has been through and can have a chat to me about it. I guess I’m scared that I’ll miss out on so much stuff at home and that I won’t have the same relationship with my mum.

Acatlady Husband No Longer Loves Me
  • replies: 1

I am 29 years old and my husband and I had been together eight years, married for two. We moved from Australia to Canada and then to England for his career. Last year he told me his feelings have changed and he doesn't feel romantic love for me any m... View more

I am 29 years old and my husband and I had been together eight years, married for two. We moved from Australia to Canada and then to England for his career. Last year he told me his feelings have changed and he doesn't feel romantic love for me any more. It's been absolutely the worst time of my life. I was in Australia on a visit to see my family when he told me this, I don't think he could tell me face to face. So I went back to England to have the real discussion. A few weeks later I packed what I could of my things and have moved back to Australia and am now living with my mother. I feel like I have been very stupid. I gave up a lot of my life to follow him around and support his career. I did not finish university and have worked in jobs I did not enjoy. Now I am 29 and living with my mother, waiting for divorce! I have no job and am very directionless. When I first arrived back I did get a job but I couldn't work there long. It was doing the same thing I had in England, I didn't like it and with everything else it was too much. I have had depression and anxiety issues since childhood and with this happening I have been struggling. I have been seeing a psychologist for the last six months and maybe it has helped a little to have someone objective to speak with but I still feel very very down every day. I started a university course at the beginning of the year but, again, I didn't feel able to cope. I withdrew from that. I had hoped it would be some kind of answer to everything and would make me feel better. I just felt worse and worse, surrounded by young people. I know I let it get to me. I would like to study again to give myself some kind of positive future.. Working in the industry I had been (optical retail) is not what I want to do. It drove me crazy. I still talk to my future ex husband almost every day. He is the one actually keeping in contact. I do think he wants to maintain a friendship. It's not what he wanted to happen in his life either.. Talking with him is hard but not talking would be harder? I don't know what steps to take next. I am very alone and have no friends in this area, as my mother moved while I was overseas. I have visited some which was good but I need something where I am now (Perth). I'm not sure what I am doing! My thoughts are very jumbled and my emotions are erratic too.

anxiousandoutgoing Anxiety and a break up/rebound
  • replies: 2

Hi whoever is reading this. i have recently ended a long term relationship after my partner cheated on me. I am constantly struggling since with my anxiety and depression as my thoughts are constantly telling me I’m worthless and that it should just ... View more

Hi whoever is reading this. i have recently ended a long term relationship after my partner cheated on me. I am constantly struggling since with my anxiety and depression as my thoughts are constantly telling me I’m worthless and that it should just end now to make life (or lack there of) easier. I started seeing a long term friend but he is struggling to understand mental illness. I’m on an emotional roller coaster at the moment while also trying to deal with a new job. I need help. Is there any advice that can help me out?

Coadie Depressed due to a relationship break up
  • replies: 11

Hey everyone, so I’m a 16 year old teenage boy who is currently in high school. Now by reading the title and seeing my age you may think I’m a little childish and don’t understand what ‘real love’ is but believe me I do. There’s this beautiful girl t... View more

Hey everyone, so I’m a 16 year old teenage boy who is currently in high school. Now by reading the title and seeing my age you may think I’m a little childish and don’t understand what ‘real love’ is but believe me I do. There’s this beautiful girl that I had a thing with, we were only dating for two weeks but we were close and getting to know eachother a few weeks before that. She ended it with me last night, she has a few issues going on in her life at the moment, that’s is her business and I’m not going to discuss those as it’s not my place to. But she broke up with me because she didn’t want to hurt me, she didn’t want to drag me down with her. We both suffer from depression and this break up has only made mine worse. I’ve spoken to her and she keeps saying it’s for the best but I don’t get it, I want to help her and I’m not going to get dragged down with her, I’m there to support her. I broke down into pieces last night, I was a wreck, I didn’t sleep because I couldn’t stop thinking about her, went to school today, went home an hour after school started cause I just couldn’t be there. The minute I got in the car with my mum I broke down, I was a mess but I couldn’t tell her what was wrong, I had to make up an excuse because I feel I can’t tell her about these things. ‘I had a migraine’ I said, I got home and took two of my dads anti depressant pills, it feels like it didn’t do anything besides make it all worse. Anything I do, anything I think about it just reminds me of her. I loved this girl and I still do and I don’t want this to be the end. I’m in a really messed up position at the moment and I need advice on how to talk to her about it, how to let her give me another chance, be able to tell her that I’m there to help her, that I’m not going to get dragged down by it all. Please I need this girl in my life.

Teibs Newly married and constantly fearing being cheated on
  • replies: 8

Hi everyone Really new to this. I recently got married, 3 months now to the man I really love. I’ve never had this feeling when we were dating but ever since we got married I constantly fear that he is going to cheat on me or that he is doing somethi... View more

Hi everyone Really new to this. I recently got married, 3 months now to the man I really love. I’ve never had this feeling when we were dating but ever since we got married I constantly fear that he is going to cheat on me or that he is doing something behind my back. I understand that a lot of it has to do with my past relationships where both times I’ve been cheated on. So I think the trauma from those is still bothering me. However, I logged in to his Facebook and I know it’s very foolish and stupid. I did and I saw that he deleted his conversation with this girl that I don’t like. Now I know that they used to talk before we started dating but nothing after that. I just don’t know why he would delete it. Then I went through his search history and I saw that he searched for her profile quite recently as well. Now that just added fuel to the fire. It’s been on my mind constantly. So I asked him if he would give me his Facebook password. He didn’t hesitate and gave it to me but then I realised he deleted all his search history before he gave it to me. I know he loves me and I know he would not cheat on me. But I want to know if this is normal? Like do guys just randomly check out other women? I just find it so very wrong and it’s been haunting me to a point where I haven’t slept in days. I’ve been having constant anxiety attacks and at times I cannot do anything. My body just gives up and I feel so weak that I just go to bed. It’s affecting my work, my relationship, my studies. Am I over thinking this? I try to tell myself that I am. The way these thoughts are haunting me it’s like a parasite. I really need help. I don’t know what to do. There are no other indications of him doing anything. He is really decent, he loves my family and always puts in the effort to make my day. I just feel like why would he hide those and why delete it if he has no bad intentions? i feel really stupid asking these but I also need to rest my brain. I just feel so tired being paranoid all the time

John2018 Struggle from day to day after break up
  • replies: 30

Hello, I have recently gone through a break up (almost 8 weeks) which may seem like Mental abuse as we have split a couple of times & got back etc. I got used to this behaviour and I allowed it. My friends would see & say I was getting abused mentall... View more

Hello, I have recently gone through a break up (almost 8 weeks) which may seem like Mental abuse as we have split a couple of times & got back etc. I got used to this behaviour and I allowed it. My friends would see & say I was getting abused mentally. i seem to only think of the good times and avoid the bad thoughts, I like that about me in normal circumstances. i get anxious leading up to the weekend As I know I will possibly get bored of my own company, u see I have somehow maybe become co-dependant My ex suffered from what I believe PTSD, took meds for anxiety and depression (though recently would say I never had depression only anxiety-this was a shock to hear) I would do anything to help, but I got blamed for things I did not even feel I did-unfortunately at times I would go quiet as she would treat me horribly, I even voiced that I would not accept the behaviour any more though this pushed her away. I always put others first and I thought that was a nice trait to have. I see her and she seems to be happy and I think to myself how this could be possible It’s like I am addicted to the pain, I find the relationship was what I’m addicted to so I struggle to move on. I still feel I love her though I know it’s not good for me. I tried all in my power to get us to counselling but she always avoided it! Last year we did 3 sessions and it worked well but our counsellor went on a break and we never re-booked. Don’t even know why I’m writing this? i struggle to get out of bed (my couch) it’s almost mid day & I just want to try & get used to my own space. I want to leave the house to go for a walk all the time, try and catch up with ppl though ppl are busy doing whatever it is they do, you know with family etc. I don’t know if that is normal so early in a split? Yesterday I cried a lot. Last night a friend came walking & at first I was a mess, to the point he wanted us to go to a hospital. He has depression and has it all under control with his dr. though after crying getting it out we walked for 2 hours and I was happy again. i wish God would speed things up for me. i try mindfulness,meditation but recently have stopped. I really want my life to be normal again (what’s normal right) I posted considering I’m on my couch still. Is this bad that I’m still on the couch or can I hav a day or maybe a few like this? This week was a tough one and I did find it hard every morning to get up.i hope I have not bored anyone. Thanks for listening/reading.

SummerOz Parent In-laws over stepping the boundaries.
  • replies: 7

In the past, we have had issues where my parent in-laws are to involved in our life and over stepping boundaries. They use to have a say in everything we do, constantly forcing help onto us after numerous polite declines, being involved in decisions ... View more

In the past, we have had issues where my parent in-laws are to involved in our life and over stepping boundaries. They use to have a say in everything we do, constantly forcing help onto us after numerous polite declines, being involved in decisions that my husband and I should be making as a couple or parents. On one occasion, without even consulting us first, they had discussed between themselves that they would be having our kids for 3 days and us 4 days, for the next 2 weeks. Unprecedented. I lost my marbles. However, we addressed it with them, result was awkward but respectful. Since then, things have been good but my instincts tell me that they want to be more involved with our life. Then, this happens!!! My parents in-laws stay at my house for 2 nights to look after my children while hubby (their son) and I had to travel interstate. We have always had a guest room in our home, to make sure we can accommodate visitors with comfort and own space/bedroom. e.t.c . The guest room is immaculate, clean linen, wardrobe space e.t.c. All of our guests have stayed in this room and have never had a problem with it. When the parents in-laws arrived, they set themselves up in the guest room as normal. They have stayed at our house before, so they are familiar with our Guest Etiquette in our home. However this time, when we returned, my mother in-law told me that her and my father in-law slept in our bed without even asking if its ok or not. My mother in-law made comment that "some people can be funny about it". But they did it anyway. The bed and bedroom I share with my husband is our own private room, our own space. Its the only place on this earth that we share together and we don't have to share it with anyone else (expect our little ones for cuddles). I am really crept out by this, I actually cannot sleep in that room now or bed. They whole thing grosses me out. My husband doesn't see a problem with it, but he can see where I am coming from and how invasive it is for me. In particular knowing that my father in-law is ok with sleeping in his daughter in-laws bed without asking, is next level creepy. And he choose that over the allocated guest bed provided. Worst thing is, my mother in-law knew that not all people are ok with this sort of thing happening, but did it anyway. They claim to be simple people, respectful people, but I am really struggling with this. Lost all privacy. What next.