My partner cheated on me while I was pregnant

[BellaVida]

I have had depression and anxiety on and off for over 20 years. I really feel like no one understands me.Two years ago my partner cheated on me when I was pregnant and I feel like I still haven’t recovered. I feel like I made a mistake forgiving him and the relationship has gone downhill from there and we are now separated. I was talking to doctors and psychologists at that time but I feel like they just thought I would recover and get over it. I have no family or friends to talk to. I’m no longer the person I remember I once was. I feel a lot of anger and negativity within myself. I find myself not wanting to leave the house anymore. I feel like a bad person/ mother. Would love any feedback anyone can offer.

[geoff]

Hello BellaVida, I can't say how awfully sorry I feel for you and please let me welcome you to the site.

When you were told ' just thought I would recover and get over it' isn't as easy as that because trust has been broken by your partner which has now caused the two of you to separate.

Negative thoughts make you believe this, but you have to dismiss these feelings because you have made the right decision and try not to let negativity cause anger, this will dampen any belief you have in yourself.

The person you were has been overtaken by what's happened, to be cheated on and the feeling of being neglected by those who you thought would listen and support you.

You still need to talk with someone please don't battle this by yourself and if you click on to 'Get Supportr' then scroll down until you see 'Find a professional' there are other doctors who deal specifically with depression of all types and who may bulk bill.

I'm not qualified to say but with this happening and the birth of your baby may lead to another type of depression.

You are worth more than how you have been treated and I hope you can see that and are able to move on in a positive direction, remember we are here for you.

My Best.

Geoff.

[BellaVida]

Thank you kindly Geoff for taking the time out and giving me such positive and encouraging advice. I do try my hardest to not let the negative thoughts creep in and I hate what it’s making me become. I was the person that was always there for people but now I feel no one is there for me. I can’t even describe what kind of life I had and then having to go through something like that. Something you said really stuck out to me which was “you are worth more than how you have been treated”. This is true and I know I also have to stop letting people treat me badly. Again thank you for being that person who reached out and gave me a bit of hope that someone is actually listening.

[quirkywords]

BellaVida

I too want to welcome you to this forum.

I agree that Geoff has given you such supportive and encouraging advice.

Many people will read your post and be bale to relate to you.

I think Geoffs words " you are worth more than you have been treated" are so true and worth taking notice of.

I know a friend whose husband cheated on her while she was pregnant and she felt so betrayed.

Pregnancy is such an emotional time full of raging hormones and you need much support.

I remember my partner only had to look at me and I would burst in tears.

I feel you are very strong and a great mother .

Could you join a playgroup for mums with babies and meet other mums?

It can feel isolating on your own and being able to talk to other mums may help.

Thanks again for your honesty.

Quirky

[geoff]

Hi BellaVida, I really appreciate your lovely reply, so thank you so much.

It's disappointing to realise that you were there for people when they needed someone to support them, but in turn, it's not reciprocated, this is so upsetting and unfortunately, it has been something I have experienced so many times and wondered why they could ever do this.

Please look after yourself, you and the baby come first and it would be great to hear back from you.

I am about to log off as I start very early in the morning, normally at about 2 am, but I will pick up any reply from you on New Posts, if I don't reply then please send another comment to me, this will bring it back to page 1.

Please take care.

Geoff.

[moo1]

Hi Bellavide , I am so sorry that this has happened to you, I also forgave My husband for doing the self same thing to me, Our little girl died after she was born, so I blamed him for that too !!! it was a long long hard road back to normal and I had to have a lot of help, but all I can say is that I did do it all that happened 41 years ago, and you will too, move forward and get back on your feet , it just takes a LOT of time to re programe your self in to thinking you are worthy.....you did not make a mistake in forgiving him at the begining, nor is it wrong because you have now split up, Try and get to a mother and baby club, and pat yourself on the back and look at the awsome job you are doing 🙂