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Broke up with girlfriend but now have intense feelings of missing her

Community Member
Hi peoples,

I broke up with my ex around 5 weeks ago but we still talk almost every day, however over the last couple of days i had proposed that we stop talking for a few months. I knew it was going to be tough as i spent almost a year with the girl but i thought i needed to do this to distance myself from her. The reason i am trying to distance myself is that i have been feeling really jealous and clingy especially when i know she's out partying. I guess i feel bad for being so up and down with her... one minute i don't need to be in contact with her but some days i just can't stop messaging her and being very clingy. Its been 3 days since we stopped talking and i am feeling intense feelings of missing her and wondering if i made a big mistake. Everything reminds me of her and i have never felt like i have missed someone this much before. This confuses me because in the relationship my feelings were not very strong for her and the reason i broke it off was that i was worried my feelings wouldn't develop. I guess i regret this as i did not give myself a chance to think about the situation and i guess i just made an impulse decision to break it off one night. I have been asking to catch up with her because i would like to discover if my feelings have changed around her and maybe that my feels are stronger towards her but she does not seem to interested in seeing me. In all honesty, she tells me she is happy and i want her to be happy so im not sure whether i give myself time to be distant from her aor if i should act on my feelings as it might be too late in the future.

Any advice is welcome.
2 Replies 2

Community Member

Hello bimmadude

Sorry to hear that you are under a bit of sadness and mild stress.

There is an old saying that you don’t know what you got to it gone and absence makes the heart fonder.

Loneliness is hard, it sounds like you miss her company. The little things that you both enjoy about each other that got you both going out together when you were together.

It sounds that she has moved on a bit easier than yourself and this can cause the anxiety and missing them feeling more as you still in the same spot.

Trust is a massive thing in any relationship and always needs to be worked on and respected. If you both can’t be together anymore look at it as what you could have done better in the relationship and want you like more in a relationship for next time.

Do she knows how much you miss her? Do you think she may get back with you? If so let her know from the heart and if given the chance make the most of the second chance.

It never easy and this is only my advice. But try to take it easy and I wish you the best.


Thank you for the reply Hang10!

I definitely miss her company as i have not seen her in 5 weeks. I guess the first 5 weeks i was okay, I had some good and bad days but the last few days have just been very strong feelings of missing her that i have never experienced before so im not sure whether i take that as im now feeling lonely because we are no longer talking or because i genuinely miss her. hmmm.

She Told me that she doesn't really miss me which really sucks to hear but i guess she just has moved on. We are trying to stay close as friends but i just think if we were to be friends that id needs some time to cool off before i could become a good friend.

I trusted her more then i have trusted anyone before and i know she had allot of trust in me. We really didn't do anything to hurt each other rather tho we just agreed we felt like we were better off as friends. But annoyingly the strong feelings that i didn't experience in the relationship i am now experiencing.

I have proposed to catch up with her but i have been rejected multiple times and yes i have told her i miss her. I don't think she would get back with me as i was always so indecisive on how i felt in the relationship and im sure she wants something more steady.

Thanks for the advice i appreciate it.