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Need help, not sure if I’m being insecure

Community Member

Hi I’m fairly new to sharing how I am feeling. I have been battling depression and anxiety for around 12 months now.

Me and my wife have been together for 10 years and have 3 beautiful kids. 8 years ago when my oldest son was 1 year old, we were seperated for about 2 months, in that time I was a mess and attempted suicide. I had always suspected she had slept with someone else during this time which she has constantly denied. Until a few days days ago when I found out my suspicions were true,

the sex bothers me a a little but not as much as the fact that she lied to me about it for so long.

am I being stupid?

how do I overcome the sense of dread, I feel like I can’t trust anything she says anymore. I put on a brace face at home and pretend everything is ok. But I am spiraling

any advice will help

3 Replies 3

Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hi Jacked,

Welcome to beyond blue. It's not easy to open up about your feelings but this is a good place to do it!

No, of course you're not being stupid. I think you have the right the be angry that your wife lied about it for so long. I guess it will take time for you to trust her again. Do you mind me asking, was it her that ended up telling you or did you find out through someone else?

You mentioned you have suffered from anxiety and depression for a year now. Have you seen a GP and/or counselor? Have you spoken to your wife or friends/family about it? Maybe you and your wife could attend couples counseling together?

Hope you find a way forward.

Happy to chat more if you'd like to.


Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello Jacked and can I welcome you along with Star Jasmine, who has asked a very good question, did you find out yourself or did your wife tell you?

I think that's important because if you found out yourself, then that's a problem, and wonder whether you can trust her to tell the truth or if she needs to cover up further activities.

If on the other hand, she did let you know, then she may feel remorseful and make things good.

If she has been involved with a secret life then there is an aspect of her that you have no knowledge of and may only be told half the story.

I am concerned about how you are feeling now and very sorry for what you attempted to do a while ago.

Are you able to get back to us so we can help you further.

Best wishes.


Community Member
Hey Geoff thanks for replying, I had always been suspicious. And then one day she sat me down and told me.