Relationship and family issues

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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Lilone1 26 year old mother of 2 beautiful girls 3 and 5. Stuck :(
  • replies: 1

First post and just venting right now seems to be the help. I have severe generalised anxiety. Although i do not have social anxiety. I am 26 my partner 41. We have 2 girls and he owns his home. I was living with my alcoholic mother when we met. I cu... View more

First post and just venting right now seems to be the help. I have severe generalised anxiety. Although i do not have social anxiety. I am 26 my partner 41. We have 2 girls and he owns his home. I was living with my alcoholic mother when we met. I currently have been working for his business plus taken care of the household and children. Have been since I was 21. A year ago I expressed my need for his help bag I can’t cope with running a business and a house and children coming from a very broken background with no knowledge. But my persistent to please everyone around me made me ignore th warning signs and now I am in this situation. 6 years later I am not allowed to see friend of r do anythjng alone as I am a bonding my family. I do nothing but clean and look after kids. J recently had Breast surgery and have anxiety going back to work for him. I have provided for our household for seven years and the other night he kicked me out. I have my own car and that is it. $29 to my account and no savings. No bills in my name and. I assistance from Centrelink die to being parterned and an unable to leave as I can afford to have been staying for my children but am always happier when he’s not here. I do love him and want this so work but always invisikn having my own house and life with my kids. Him being involved also just not us as a couple. Am scared as I have no family and don’t want to put my kids through housing and flats ect when their father has a perfectly beautiful family home for us all that he has provided by it always makes me think if I leave I can’t provide the best for them. I know I can and it will take work but is it worth taking the risk and having nothing to Mabey gain everything or be left with nothing. Sorry for being all over the place high anxiety and kids have just gone to bed and parter is not here. My only chance

Muddilyn My partner's depression / anxiety is sending me crazy
  • replies: 1

Hello , My husband has been diagnosed with D & A and is on medication. I believe it is more than this and is getting worse but the tests ( a five minute chat or a handshake ) say he is ok. I live and see it everyday and nobody apart from family belie... View more

Hello , My husband has been diagnosed with D & A and is on medication. I believe it is more than this and is getting worse but the tests ( a five minute chat or a handshake ) say he is ok. I live and see it everyday and nobody apart from family believe me so I doubt myself , dislike my thoughts and how I am becoming reactive and wonder why I need so much for someone professional to validate that something is wrong. My hubbby recognises that something is amiss and is disillusioned with treatment so far . Our GP just says it's age related but I disagree and we have changed Drs once so far. They need to spend a day in our house to see what really happens. I am just resigned now to accept it and await the day when it is undeniable anymore or something bad happens as he forgets things and much of his logic is gone so an accident of some kind is on the cards. We don't have a life anymore but just exist. Thanks for listening to my rant .

Romy Overanalysing love and feelings
  • replies: 5

I have anxiety and I've always been an over thinker and over analyser. I'll go for weeks at a time thinking and worrying about one thing, that's totally ridiculous, and then I'll just forget about it completely and it'll go away. Right now, I'm overa... View more

I have anxiety and I've always been an over thinker and over analyser. I'll go for weeks at a time thinking and worrying about one thing, that's totally ridiculous, and then I'll just forget about it completely and it'll go away. Right now, I'm overanalysing my feelings for my boyfriend and it makes me feel horrible. We've been together 5 months and the honeymoon phase is starting to wear off. At the moment, we're both really busy with uni and work, so I'm stressed about other things and my mind is pre-occupied. I find myself not thinking about him as much and then when I realise I haven't thought about him for awhile, I feel guilty. I look forward to seeing him and I love being around him, but it's not the same butterfly, jittery feeling I used to get, because I'm so comfortable with him now. I'm not as clingy as I was at the start of the relationship. I used to feel sad and lonely when I didn't see him for a couple of days and I couldn't WAIT to see him. Now, I look forward to seeing him, but with other stuff going on, I don't really feel as obsessed, and I'm more laid back and chill even if I haven't seen him in a couple of days. By the way, he lives an hour and a half away which is why we don't see each other as often as we'd like. I definitely do not want to break up with him. I do love him and I want to take care of him and support him. Is this just a normal part of the relationship progressing and maturing? Everyone always says that if you question your love for someone, then you mustn't love them. I don't think that's fair, since there's people like me out there who question every little thing!!!

Rainbow_bird How do I cope with my father's death?
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Hi guys, my father recently passed away and it's under unsual and not very nice circumstances. I'm struggling to accept that my father has past and everything that's going on around it. Some days it's like nothing has happened and I just deleted numb... View more

Hi guys, my father recently passed away and it's under unsual and not very nice circumstances. I'm struggling to accept that my father has past and everything that's going on around it. Some days it's like nothing has happened and I just deleted numb but then I get hit with a huge wave of many different emotions and still day to myself how can he be gone. I don't want to accept that I no longer have a father and it's hurting me so much to know that my fiance will never be able to meet him. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

Marty_J Partner wants me to move interstate with her...
  • replies: 4

Hello all, First time poster on this site so bare with me. I have a partner of close to only 12months. I love her alot but we have had a few issues recently. We broke up about a month ago but over the past few weeks we have managed to get back togeth... View more

Hello all, First time poster on this site so bare with me. I have a partner of close to only 12months. I love her alot but we have had a few issues recently. We broke up about a month ago but over the past few weeks we have managed to get back together and are working on things. When we broke up she said she was going to move to another city and have a fresh start on things in her life. She has had a few personal issues over the past 12months (nothing to do with me) that has made living where she currently does not the greatest for her. So we are now back together and she acknowledges that moving interstate is now going to be harder for her but she still wants to do it. Shes applied for jobs and flying up for an interview for one this week. She has said she wants me to come with her. I am so confused and torn by this. There is a ten year age difference between us with me being older. I've done the whole moving interstate thing before and have been back in my home city for 5 years. I was also very close to making a fairly big career move potentially going into business for myself. However I love this girl alot. Thats where Im torn. In her head she needs to make the move for her own mental health reasons and I would feel bad making her make a decision to stay. I guess where Im torn is the fact she broke up with me a month ago. Ytes we have gotten back together and we have clearly discussed the reasons why she broke up with me and it all makes sense. We are actually going to see a relationship counsellor tonight to discuss a few things. Moving to the new city doesnt scare me. I can see the exciting aspects to it but I have a large support network where i and it would be sad to leave that. Theres also the risk we could break up and then I've also missed out on potential career options had I stayed. So yeah very confused and just looking for other peoples opinions.

Nanaof4 Daughter In Law is Tearing Family Apart
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Hello, I am hoping someone can help me, or at the very least, I can vent here. My family are going through a crisis due to my daughter in law (DIL) who is making our lives hell. About 2 months ago my son and his family came interstate to spend my bir... View more

Hello, I am hoping someone can help me, or at the very least, I can vent here. My family are going through a crisis due to my daughter in law (DIL) who is making our lives hell. About 2 months ago my son and his family came interstate to spend my birthday with me. My DIL was off towards us from the moment she arrived. We have always had difficulties with the DIL from the day she met my son. We have 2 grandchildren from them and she has often stopped us from seeing them when she feels we are not doing what she wants. This trip however, she was nasty from the time she arrived and by day 2 she was able to engage the whole family into a fight causing my 2 sons to actually fight. The fight was over money that was owed to my son, who lives with us, from her. She refused to pay it back and began screaming at us, scaring the kids and my dad who was here at the time. My husband tried to break the fight up between the sons as the DIL began to pack their items up to leave back to VIC right away. After everything had calmed down, we talked my son into staying as it was late and driving at night and very upset was dangerous. He agreed. They did however leave a few hours later as she demanded they leave. It is from here that things have gone heartbreakingly wrong. She did not say goodbye to us and swore to us as she got into the car that we would never see the grandkids again. We received a call a week later from my son saying that my DIL had put in a report that my husband had done something to the 3 year old grand daughter. We were told we were not allowed to talk to the grandkids until it was investigated. The case was closed 2 weeks later and the DIL was told that we could see and talk to the children and once again she has since made further serious claims. We are not sure what these claims are but we are told they are serious and we are once again not allowed to see the kids. My son has left her over this but he refuses to let us speak or see the kids as he does not want to upset her. We have asked him what these new allegations are and he said that she has blocked him from any information regarding this new case also. We have called a lawyer and any agencies we can. So far we are told there is no case but because she keeps making claims against us, they have to keep investigating them. We are heartbroken and so scared that we will never see them again. We are so scared of the lengths she will go to so we cannot see them, What can we do?

Netsua keep driving
  • replies: 2

Hi briefly, As background I am a mid 30's male of Australian background. I have a chronic health condition (type 1 Diabetes) and other ongoing yet to be diagnosed medical complaints but probably related (frustrated by no formal conclusive DX). I have... View more

Hi briefly, As background I am a mid 30's male of Australian background. I have a chronic health condition (type 1 Diabetes) and other ongoing yet to be diagnosed medical complaints but probably related (frustrated by no formal conclusive DX). I have been married for over 10 yrs and we have 2 kids. I am the sole bread winner in the family. My wife has developed high levels of anxiety and OCD to unhealthy levels where it is impacting the kids (sleep at 10-12 at night everynight and late to school). I help as much as possible whilst trying to live by the cleanliness rules in the house which are full on stressful and is costing me a fortune. She wore herself out so much she fell asleep standing up and almost cracked her head open. I feel guilty that I have let her and even helped her become this way. By helping so much I basically have to work 5 days within 3 and it has only been by good fortune and working nights that I have not been found out. In addition there has been no intimacy at all for the past 7 yrs+, she sleeps on the couch by her choice. There has been no infidelity or the like. I feel unappreciated and overwhelmed. Coupled with an isolated job. I am staying only because if I didn't what would happen to the kids? I would miss out on being there for them. However the verbal fights are not good for them to observe. She is getting help but so slow. My patience is thin and I according to the wife and not supporting her mentally. I am exhausted and do snap as the frustrations bubble over although am trying not too. Plus I throw in her face all the extra things I do which just makes her feel worse but feel like I have to justify why I am allowed to be frustrated. I have no idea how to get out of this situation. I need to see someone to help me work on strategy to cope but would find it somewhat difficult due to family history. That was not brief was it, not sure if I even asked a question? Thanks.

timesaretough My husband has prescription drug addiction and has been lying to me-what do i do
  • replies: 4

My husband of 8 years, partner of 18 years has had a bad run with illness. It started about 5 years ago and has been in and out of hospital with surgeries. Within this time, he has grown an addiction to opioids. I didn't actually know about the addic... View more

My husband of 8 years, partner of 18 years has had a bad run with illness. It started about 5 years ago and has been in and out of hospital with surgeries. Within this time, he has grown an addiction to opioids. I didn't actually know about the addiction at first, just felt like I wasn't getting any attention. I stupidly talked to my male boss about it which then lead to a brief affair. My husband was so broken from it and I wish I could take it back, to date it was my biggest regret. Since then, he has been on and off the drugs, at one point he was so high from mixing drugs that he was unable to hold a conversation and was sent home by his boss-he was very lucky to not get fired! We looked at treatment, but they wanted to put him on a methadone program-is that even normal?? He refused to speak to anyone and told me he was done with them. Just tonight I found out that he is still using them by Dr shopping, going t 2 different doctors to get them. I'm at the end of my rope. I have paid for what I've done, but seem to be still dealing with his issues and feeling like it will never end. He won't see anyone, so what do I do? Ultimatum?

baw21 Stepdad passed away now I feel lost
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My stepdad passed away 6 weeks ago and Ive never been through heartache like this before. Neither has my mum. I feel so lost and my emotions are up and down. I don’t know if I should move back to my home town to my mum and leave behind a great job an... View more

My stepdad passed away 6 weeks ago and Ive never been through heartache like this before. Neither has my mum. I feel so lost and my emotions are up and down. I don’t know if I should move back to my home town to my mum and leave behind a great job and amazing city. I’m just not happy here where I am currently living now he has passed away. I just don’t know what to do.

msanders993 No friends, going on ten years
  • replies: 6

Sorry if this post is a bit long. I just feel intensely lonely and I’m sick of it. Usual story of I was massively bullied throughout high school. Changed schools to see if things would get better, they didn’t, if anything things got worse. That was w... View more

Sorry if this post is a bit long. I just feel intensely lonely and I’m sick of it. Usual story of I was massively bullied throughout high school. Changed schools to see if things would get better, they didn’t, if anything things got worse. That was when I was fifteen. I’m now 25, I live out of home, I have a great job, I am well-liked at work, I’m friendly and outgoing, I am an attractive young person. But things are still the same. The one friend I did have is now married, and I can just see she’s getting busier and busier (I don’t blame her) but I have no one else to fall back on. I didn’t see her much in the first place, I would just always make myself available when she was. How am I supposed to care about life when I have no one to share moments and memories with. Even if I do stuff for other people or in groups I am just that acquaintance, not someone to invite over because everyone already has their friends they’ve been friends with for years, so they don’t need anyone else. I just see that no one needs me in their life. I’m just a friendly face at work. That’s it. If I were to disappear no one would notice. No one would care. I’m not suicidal, as I still live in hope, but after ten years it’s hard to hold onto the belief that anyone will just pop up out of the blue, and I feel nothing I can do will change that.