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Deaf guy relationship

Deafboy
Community Member

I'm a Deaf gay from Asian and in my late-30s. My all ex were Deaf and I never had hearing bf. I'm out of relationship with my Deaf ex 3 years ago, and I have rare dating with guys coz of my deafness.

Most of hearing guys rejected me as I'm Deaf Asian guy. Some guys met me just once or twice then dropped me as it's hard to communication with me. I recently met one nice guy and seen him for two weeks, I knew we went too far and he disappeared and nothing hear from him since.

I feel ashame myself being Deaf. If I'm hearing then it will be better (Don't tell me that I should dating with Deaf guys here, it's very low number of Deaf gay guys here). I have a full time job, own my house and car, no smoke and no drug, different hobbies, not into party and health food. I tried to go out and any events but no one come to me. I feel less value and no love by anyone. My family love me but they never talk anything to me; I only have one or two close friends but they can't listen to me all the time, I recently visit my psych and not yet feel better. I feel no love in the world, No one give love to me and I can't give them my love.

I'll be okay however I think I get worst day by day and I cry almost everyday. Sometimes I thought why I'm here? I don't know if you understand me?

35 Replies 35

Graceeeeee
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hey dear DB!

I haven't heard from you in a while so I thought I'd check on you.. How's everything going? Did you check with some of the meetup websites or social platforms? And how was your Easter break, I hope you had a lovely one?

I'm thinking of you DB, talk to me anytime, I will always be here for you, sending you some love as well xx

With Love,

Grace xx

Grazee
Community Member

I was in love with and had a relationship with a deaf Italian guy . . . . we were together for 16 years. The only reason we parted was because I had to move and he, because of being part of an Italian family, could not join me. I learned basic sign language and we had no trouble communicating with each other. Our parting was painful. In the process I met with many deaf people and really enjoyed their company. The bottom line is its easy to communicate when you're in love.

To my knowledge there is a deaf gay contact through the gay help facilities. Don't ever put yourself down; we all carry problems and they can be physical or emotional or sometimes both. I've never found any help with Psychiatrists; they sit and stare, write notes that you cannot see and then charge outrageous fees. Just talking with other people is a great help.

Don't be concerned if you're sexually active . . . . it's a great way to meet people and sooner or later someone will come along wanting more than a one night stand.

I love my 16 years with my deaf lover .

everyoneishereforyou
Community Member

Hi Deafboy.

I'm happy to call you Deafboy as I know that you are capital D Deaf and this is your culture much like 'Aussie' is mine, I know it is not a put-down to yourself and its likely something you're proud of.

I really hope you're doing well and would love to hear an update on where you are with everything.
The online dating world can be cruel to anyone and everyone and in person sometimes isn't much better.

The language barrier is another thing too. I'm also gay and from Melbourne and while I am hearing I am also fluent in Auslan so if you'd like someone to chat to I'd be happy to.

Keep us posted.

Thanks @everyoneishereforyou

Sorry about late reply as I became crazy busy in late of last year.

Yes, the online dating world can be crazy but I reckon that it's only the way for me to meet someone for dating. I only have 2 dates last year but they still think Deaf is a big issue for them.

Recently I have a date with a guy, just a week. I feel that I have highly anxiety, worried that he maybe will leave me soon for no reason. I know that I should being myself but was very nervous when I meet him; I couldn't breath normally and feel vomit. I know that it's something wrong with me.

You mentioned that you can fluent in Auslan, I wonder if I know you?

Deafboy
Community Member

Thank you @Grazee! It was a lovely story! It's not easy to keep a long relationship, special with Deaf lover. I just consider if you have ever worried that he couldn't involved your world included your hearing friends?

By the way I don't look for one night stand and I don't enjoy it with various guys. I rather connect with a guy and more confort with him. Maybe it is my issue and make me odd?

Thank you Grace, sorry for late update as I was crazy busy last year. Busy made me feel a bit better but I am a bit anxious at the moment as I was worried too much when I meet someone recently.

But I will try to get more relax..... 🙂 x