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Deaf guy relationship

Deafboy
Community Member

I'm a Deaf gay from Asian and in my late-30s. My all ex were Deaf and I never had hearing bf. I'm out of relationship with my Deaf ex 3 years ago, and I have rare dating with guys coz of my deafness.

Most of hearing guys rejected me as I'm Deaf Asian guy. Some guys met me just once or twice then dropped me as it's hard to communication with me. I recently met one nice guy and seen him for two weeks, I knew we went too far and he disappeared and nothing hear from him since.

I feel ashame myself being Deaf. If I'm hearing then it will be better (Don't tell me that I should dating with Deaf guys here, it's very low number of Deaf gay guys here). I have a full time job, own my house and car, no smoke and no drug, different hobbies, not into party and health food. I tried to go out and any events but no one come to me. I feel less value and no love by anyone. My family love me but they never talk anything to me; I only have one or two close friends but they can't listen to me all the time, I recently visit my psych and not yet feel better. I feel no love in the world, No one give love to me and I can't give them my love.

I'll be okay however I think I get worst day by day and I cry almost everyday. Sometimes I thought why I'm here? I don't know if you understand me?

35 Replies 35

Deafboy
Community Member
Thank you Geoff. I agree with you that everyone is equal but also they have their 'prefer' for their partner, include myself. But who will want disable people as their partner? TV always too good to be true, who always have happy end? lol Anyway yes always good to communication with anyone with writing if they are keen to communication with us. 🙂

Hi ET, yeah I reckon you understand how I feel. We are Asian so lots online profiles that "no Asians", but I'm the worst as I'm Asian and Deaf. I read a book called "The Family Law" (and TV show recently too) and sometimes I wish I'm Benj so it's a bit "easy" life as it's not many Asians in Queensland in 1990s and they also more acceptable with disable people than now.  

Deafboy
Community Member
Thank you Paul. I never hear about Meetup and I'll have a look and see what's happen.

Graceeeeee
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hey Deafboy!

If it's ok with you could you give us a name to call you by? I agree with geoff that you are just as equal to everybody, and there's absolutely no need to degrade yourself like this. And I agree with ET that I hope one day you will see yourself as the unique and valuable person you truly are. I really admire your spirit, coming out is a huge, courageous step and it's amazing that you did it. I really do hope that you know to love yourself, because there's just no reason not to 🙂

And yes maybe not everything has a good ending like in the TV shows, but I know there's always two ways out of everything: the positive one and the negative one, and the fact that you chose to come and talk about yourself on this forum says that you've chosen the positive one, I hope you realise that and I hope you keep it up 🙂

Hope you have an awesome day, don't forget to love yourself 🙂

With love,

Grace

pipsy
Community Member
Hi there.  I am not going to refer to you as Deafboy, because I'm totally against 'labels' of any description.  You are a very warm, loving person with a HUGE heart.  These are the things you should be building on.  Your grasp of the written word is amazing too.  Have you thought about contacting the local school about night classes to learn 'sign language'.  These classes are not just for 'deaf' people, but anyone who has a communication problem.  Writing things down is time consuming and in todays busy life, you don't always HAVE the time.  I joined a 'sign language' class years ago, I was given a book to study where I was able to learn the alphabet, plus little things that were useful in my day to day life.  Whether you're gay or not, is not the issue here.  The issue is communication.  Once you learn to 'sign', the world's your oyster.  By the way, you are not disabled, you are actually more sensitive than people who can speak, because you have other senses that you've probably had to rely on.  Think about signing up for 'sign language' classes.     

Paul
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hey Db,

You said "Who would want a disabled person as their partner"

The simple answer is, someone with a heart as big as yours! There ARE guys out there with big hearts. We've just got to find them. Or let them find us because when we are ready I believe that it just happens if we are in the right social situation.

Paul x

Deafboy
Community Member
Thanks Grace for kind of words. I'm not sure what do you mean that I should go and learn "sign language"? I use Auslan and it's my second language after Chinese. But it's good that you know some Auslan!

Graceeeeee
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hello again!

Hope you're having a good day today, if you know Auslan then it's good! My first language is actually Chinese too, do you mind talking about where you came from? Perhaps we'll find something in common. I hope you see the world as it loves you, because it does, and we all do. Have you checked out some of the metope websites? If you have tell me how it went!

Hope to hear from you soon, have the best day 🙂

With love,

Grace xx

Graceeeeee
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hello my dear friend!

I haven't heard from you in a few days, so I thought I'd pop by and see if you're doing ok, if you have anything that you want to talk about with us please do! We will always be here for you. I really do hope to hear from you soon!

Hope you have an awesome day!

With Love,

Grace xx

pipsy
Community Member
Hi Deafboy.  Auslan is simply another form of sign language.  That was also taught when I did the sign language class.  I'm slightly deaf, so knowing another 'language' helped me immensely.  If you are having a problem hearing, though, have you thought about having a hearing test to see how bad your hearing is?  Perhaps a hearing aid might help you.  No, in case you're wondering, hearing aids are so small, you can't see them.  With my job, a lot of my clients wear them, if they didn't tell me, I wouldn't know.  Being deaf shouldn't cause you any major problems in your every day life.  Maybe you should talk to someone about sign language, they do incorporate Auslan with sign language.  Think about having a test though.