Crush on good friends husband

[Sandy centre]

Hi all

I have been married 9 years however have had a huge crush on a married person for 7 years. I still love my husband and have not cheated on him.

I don't if I developed this crush because I can't have children naturally and we have finished the ivf path. I feel gu

I am good friends with my crush 's wife however yesterday she told me that my crush is interested in someone else and it is not me.

[Sandy centre]

Hi there

I am concerned how this relationship has affected me. I still have silly feelings for this man and I need to address them. I know that I can't trust him however i still think he is gorgeous and it didn't help last week when I bumped into him at a different work place and he told me that i am wonderful in a text message,

When we said goodbye to each other we only had a 10 min chatI left to go to my appointment he told me that he loves me and I was not sure how to answer. This was also said after giving me a long hug----??

I know I need a reality check any help woUld be great. I am probably reading too much into too

Thanks

Does relationships Australia have psychologists who deal with issues like this for

[Doolhof]

Hi Sandy,

I seemed to have missed your post! I'm wondering how things have been between you and this guy since you last posted?

It can be very difficult when you are attracted to someone who is not your partner, even more so when he is the husband of a friend.

Lots of people have left their partners for other people whom they have fallen in love with. Is it right or wrong! I don't know. Making the decision either way can be very difficult.

Some people believe it is okay to have relationships outside of their partnership. I guess you have to consider how far you want things to go.

From what you have written previously, this guy had other female "friends" as well. Do you want to be a part of that? How would you feel if you left your husband for him only to find you were one of many?

It is a tough one. Everyone deserves to be happy. But at what cost to others and maybe even to yourself.

All the best! Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools

[Sandy centre]

Hi Mrs Dools

i am ok thanks it is going to take me a while to deal with all of this. I have found this to be very stressful with both my crush's wife and my crush.

At this stage my crush and his wife are having counselling. I think i just to have to remember like everyone else has been saying I do think that he is a ladies man. I think I am slowly realising that I don't think I could trust him. How many other girls has he had a cry on their shoulder and what else has he been telling them? I am also wondering if he has some narcissist t ndencies..

Writing poetry about this has helped

one good thing is that I have lost weight and nearly reached my goal.

Talk soon thanks again for your help

Sylvia x

[Sandy centre]

Bonsoir!!

i am so angry, confused and unhappy!!! I think this crush of mine has really hurt me... thank goodness I have not done anything stupid and I think the alarm bells have finally rung. I think if he tries to contact me will just laugh in his face and say good luck...and say you don't fool me Mr suave...

i think his marriage is in serious trouble and feel so sorry for my friend... I also feel so awful and guilty...

[geoff]

dear Sandy, although it's always sad not to be with someone you have a crush on, but if he's a ladies man he will always be on the hunt for someone else when the relationship becomes a little stale, for guys like this it will always happen. Geoff. x

[Sandy centre]

Dear Geoff

Thank you for your support and help. I have really appreciated it.

I hope you are keeping well and happy.

Sylvia x

[Doolhof]

Hi Sylvia,

I'm wondering what has happened to make you realise this guy is not all you thought he might be. You don't have to tell us of course. Sometimes our eyes are opened to what is going on around us, other times our minds want something so badly we don't look at all the truth in a situation.

I know what it is like to desire someone else. For me it is the dream of having a person love and care for me and think that I am a worthy person. The thing is, I can make myself feel that way if I try hard enough.

It is like the saying goes about thinking the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. Yer, it might be, but it could also be full pf vipers!

Instead of feeling awful and guilty, look at what you have learnt through all of this. Try and organise new and interesting things to do by yourself and with your husband. Be thankful for the realisations you have reached.

Move on, grow stronger and hope you enjoy the festive season!

Cheers from Mrs. Dools

[Sandy centre]

Dear Mrs Dools

Thank you for your support.

I still feel really angry and confused!!! I also feel guilty

i know that I could never trust this crush... I just wish I didn't get sucked in by him... He is a great one for telling you what you want to hear... i shudder to think how many other girls he does this too??? I also wish I didn't find him so god damn attractive....

I wish I could just tell him my angst and anger but I do believe that this would be very detrimental to my own beautiful relationship with my husband, friends and family...

i feel guilty that my poem come song has become about the crush too...

Thank you again for your support and care. I apologise that I have gone on for so long about it.

[Doolhof]

Hi Sylvia,

Letting go of someone or something that you wish was yours, is not always an easy thing to do. Hopefully writing here will help you to work out what it is you want to do about this situation.

Sometimes while I am writing here, ideas come to mind about how I can assist myself in different situations.

If you don't mind me asking, are you going to be seeing this guy and his wife over the festive season personally? If so, it might be a good idea to try to stay out of the way of temptation and ensure you are not alone with him.

When someone or something is right next to you, it is difficult to tell yourself no!

Hope you have a great Christmas. I am going to be off line for a few days from Monday.

Not sure how much time I will have over the weekend to connect here.

Maybe if you keep thinking that what this guy says to you he may say to lots of other women.

Be kind to yourself.

Cheerio for now from Mrs. Dools

[Sandy centre]

Happy New Year Mrs Dools!

i hope you are keeping well and you had a good Christmas.

my crush has called it quits with his wife....just before christmas.

I am now finally realising that I have been in an emotional affair... it has not been very healthy and I wondered if by chance you have any strategies how to get out of it

I am feeling quite weird about it all because it feels now he only contacts me when it suits him....he has told me that he is upset about it but is also relieved that his marriage is over. Obviously my crush's ex wife is devastated and wants me to help.... I feel really guilty, scared and stupid...I really wish that i never got to meet this man.... I am just pleased that I haven't been involved in a physical affair....

any suggestions or words of advice would be good...sorry to trouble you again about this soap opera

Sylvia x