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Bad sexual experience
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Hi everyone,
I'm looking to hear some perspectives about a recent experience I went through with a guy. I met him when I went clubbing, and met up with him a few days later. We ended up making out together, and he was very touchy feely, which I felt a bit uncomfortable with but didn't know how to mention it to him. That was okay, because he wasn't to know I was uncomfortable, but the next time we made out a few days later, he went to unbutton my pants and asked if that was okay, and I said no. However, five minutes later he tried again, even though I'd already said no once. I also told him not to leave any hickeys on my neck, as last time he did and I had to cover them all up for work and when I went out in public. He said that he wouldn't, but when I got home, there were hickeys on my neck again. The final time we made out, which was in the back of my car, he asked me if I wanted to have sex- I didn't really want to, but he kind of persuaded me into it, and made me feel like I shouldn't say no or there was no reason for me to say no. This was also my first ever time both making out with someone and having sex with someone. This whole experience has made me uncomfortable and I think is affecting me more than I initially realised; but am I just overreacting or being stupid about it and maybe it wasn't even that bad or that serious? Opinions would really be appreciated right now guys 🙂
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Hello Dear Lyssaa,
A very warm and caring welcome to the forums…
I am so very sorry you went through that, this guy your talking about seems to me to be a bit manipulative and disrespectful…..If you told him no..which you did..then he should respect that and stop…
Sweetheart, I am not saying all men, but some men can make you feel that saying no isn’t an option…by some form of manipulation and/or sweet talking….but it is an option….your option and it’s you’re right to say no…..if he doesn’t respect your decision then let him know that, by walking away….you are a beautiful person and you deserve only the best care and respect from anyone…
My kindest thoughts dear Lyssaa,
Grandy..
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Thank you so much for posting on the Beyond Blue forums today and welcome to this warm and kind community. It must have taken a lot of courage to write your story and we want to thank you for being so brave. You never know who will read your post and feel less alone in their own experience. It is never ok for someone to treat or act that way towards you.
We want to encourage you to call 1800 RESPECT (180 737 732) to discuss how you are feeling.
You can also call us on 1300 22 4636 anytime, or reach us on webchat: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support
Thank you again for your courage and strength in sharing your story. Thank you as well for being an important member of our community.
Kind regards,
Sophie M
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Your feelings are totally valid. No one should feel that have to have sex. Especially after such a short period. Many guys only want sex. See the signs and dump them if you feel they only want that from you. Sex is great but it should not be the only thing about a relationship.
Honestly, clubbing is not a great place to find a guy. It attracts men who only want to use you, not create a relationship.
What he did was not ok and that is probably why you are now uncomfortable about it. Totally normal and valid. You are not overreacting or being stupid. Your feelings are always valid.