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A tad confused
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Thank you Sophie.
I believe that he is starting to hit rock bottom right now. It’s hard to sit back and watch. I love him so much. I have a friend that is telling me to fight for him. I just don’t know if I should if he isn’t in the right headspace.
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I am struggling tonight. If the person you loved told you that he is still here for you but he just needed to sort himself out, would you wait for him? I am at a crossroad. I am focusing on myself but want to wait for him as well.
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We were together for just under a year but were friends for about 6 months before that as well. He had depression when we first met and wasn’t ready to date. We were just about to move in together. I accepted that he had a change of heart but it triggered something.
Thank you for your support. I have been talking to friends but I am also aware of them maybe getting sick of me going on about it.
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I have started seeing a psych. I had a session yesterday. I thought it had helped but i seemed to have just gone backwards and more questions that I didn’t even think of have now risen. I have another session in 2 weeks time. Unfortunately she’s booked up until then. There’s also stuff that I am scared to tell anybody, including her, as it’s very intimate. During his good week he wanted to have sex with me and he was cheeky again. That’s where the confusion on my part came about and I may have mistook that for him getting better.
I guess with depression, the things we take for granted, like the process of moving in together, seems so much scarier to them and they need to take really small steps to get there. I was happy to not move in together and take it slow. He just put so much pressure on himself and perhaps the guilt of not being honest with me and talking to me about it, got to him. Who knows. It’s something that I might never understand or fully know what was going through his head.
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Yeah, you are right, I think that’s all they can handle right now too. Not the responsibility of being in a relationship. That label is too much for them.
I guess I am still holding onto hope. I just have to keep reminding myself that, the less pressure and the more space I give him, the faster he will be able to sort himself out and get better. I am just waiting for him to contact me now.