Thinking about death.... all the time...

[Guest_1643]

Hi all

I've been struggling for 3 weeks with suicidal thoughts

My new GP is amazing

He tells me to think of suicidal thoughts as a symptom maybe a solution

Could he be right?

Today he assigned someone to give me a call to check in on my safety. I don't think that will happen. I've not received the call.
Small things like this lead to rage, hurt and fear for me.

And so I am left to deal with the thoughts alone.

[Matchy69]

Hi sleepy and Tayla it's perfectly ok for the doctor to have holidays and it was perfectly ok for her to have a break having a baby and then covid hit and she couldn't come back when she was going to which I completely understood.Shes the only doctor in that practice I like but did see a couple of different doctors to get scripts.I have been seeing my specialist once a month but now I am on the waiting list again for more surgery I haven't seen them since November so I am just waiting for a phone call to have the surgery.It was suppose to have been done before Christmas so hopefully won't be to much longer.
I am just on my bed with my cat which was originally on my daughter's bed but has decided to snuggle with me now
Take care,
Mark.

[Guest_4643]

Hey Mark.

Hopefully she'll be back soon. That's cute about your Cat.

The old GPs I used to see refused to prescribe me my meds, isn't that against the law? I had proof from my Psychiatrist that I needed it, I wasn't just going in there & asking for them.

[Guest_1643]

Hey alll
Mark that's good u have a doctor you like at the practise. it's a great thing to have a nice doctor. Sometimes they are very busy etc as well.

Today was a bit hard with everything being shut, bit more isolating than usual.
I'm kind of glad it's over. I started having obsessive thoughts but was okay after I got out a bit. It's a hard time of year for me.

I bought quite a few things from the sales in the end lol. Home stuff like lamps and a rug, and a desk chair.

[Guest_4643]

Hey Sleepy, I'm sorry to hear that. Are you ok?

Yes, stuff being shut is difficult.

[ecomama]

Hey Sleepy

How are you feeling tonight? Sorry you had a so so appt with that other GP, but if we know this about them then, yah, it is how it is. SO GLAD you have a great GP now. 1 week's leave isn't long.

Tbh it's better they take leave than take off!

Happy to hear you bounced back with buying nice stuff, like WOW!

Were you able to bring your FLASHY new purchases home with you?

You are REALLY setting your home up nicely. It sounds so swish now!

I just have to ask... what colour are your new pillowcases lol?
I remember the pure white and grey theme, just wondered what you went with to add.

Any plans for tomorrow?

Love EM

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hey Sleepy

I love that you bought stuff for your space! How are the dried flowers going?

My kind wishes, Katy xo

[Guest_4643]

Hey Sleepy (hello to everyone else too of course).

How are you today?

[Guest_1643]

Hi Tayla - i'm okay thanks

Today was a bit better as I could get out. I've been reading my book and some trashy gossip magazines for good measure. A good way to unwind. I've been still struggling a bit with my thoughts but I guess that's normal. Such a hard time of year.

[Guest_1643]

Hey EM!

It was a counsellor who said that to me eek. That rustled me a bit but I am surprised I can sort of get over things more these days. Even the bad days are still my days, my journey, so I make room for them...

The pillowcases! They are the same scheme!! Just the white ones but they have a silky stripe which Blubes told me about 🙂 I'm buying a few things from overseas as they are cheap and have more choices...

I feel like sometimes I go to stores here and I cant find what I want! My rug is a pink one and I think it will be nice. Coming online from Sydney.

I slept really well new years eve so was happy about that... I read you a had a hard night sleeping last night. Hoping u and ur tribe are okay

[Guest_4643]

I'm sorry to hear that Sleepy. I'm struggling myself too