Thinking about death.... all the time...

[Guest_1643]

Hi all

I've been struggling for 3 weeks with suicidal thoughts

My new GP is amazing

He tells me to think of suicidal thoughts as a symptom maybe a solution

Could he be right?

Today he assigned someone to give me a call to check in on my safety. I don't think that will happen. I've not received the call.
Small things like this lead to rage, hurt and fear for me.

And so I am left to deal with the thoughts alone.

[Delectable]

Sleepy, they said I need DBT, if there was nothing wrong with
me one would think I wouldn’t need any type of therapy...who is right and who is wrong? I have no idea but my social workers from the last 2 seem to have more idea then anyone as my diagnoses have stemmed from them...the fact I don’t laugh or smile ever should tell anyone with half a brain there’s something wrong with me...my voice doesn’t change at all, it’s a low flat...I know myself I’m different to others, sometimes I think euthanasia should be allowed as it’s acceptable for someone to leave when they have cancer but if it’s a mental illness instantly you’re deemed to be selfish, I don’t get why people cannot understand how much pain that person must be in....how bad they must feel to consider leaving, I do hope someone will help you Sleepy...and that they are decent.

[Guest_4643]

Sorry to hear that Sleepy, I hope you're ok. Anything I can do? Lucky you can see your GP tomorrow, hopefully the session goes well.

I wish I could see mine, and my Psychiatrist. But i can't. I need to communicate with them regarding my meds but I can't.

[monkey_magic]

I honestly think there is more wrong with an industry that diagnoses people without any evidence.

Normal is a vast array of things.

Don't let anyone that gives you a diagnosis make you harp on it or feel bad about it. Who all of a sudden gave them diagnostic superpowers.

Question everything and be sceptical. It might actually mean that there is more wrong with a profit driven business than there is with you.

You are human, and that can be many different facets. Do not discount yourself or let someone label you. You are placing your power in their hands.

[Guest_1643]

Hi MM

i label myslf with anxiety but I don't use their labels .... I label it kindly and non-stigmatising to myself. It doesn't change who I am and I will relate to it in my own terms.
I agree with u wholeheartedly. The system throws labels around like hotcakes.
We have to protect ourselves from harm. That said, I'm okay with having anxiety. And I'm normal!!!!!! Being anxious is normal. The reason I've been so angry and upset to be labelled is not coz of the label but because of the disgusting stigma that ppl attach to it - in the MH society. I like what Mark said, we're all perfect as we are. The MH system took away my instincts in a way, my trust in myself. I trust myself before a MH professional. Always. Not to say I won't hear them out. But I trust my own instincts first about me.

[Guest_1643]

Hi Mark how did you sleep?
Did you get rest today between hanging out with your kids?
How are they doing?

[Guest_1643]

hi MM what u wrote was very powerful

I wander if you could share it somewhere or write a book or article about ur experiencs... if ever you wanted to.

I believe you have a helping, wise quality x

[monkey_magic]

Yup,
Well said.
Through my experience they stripped me of my humanity and made me think I was sick. They wanted me to be dependant on them and their so called treatment ( mistreatment)

I've always been independent. I've always believed in myself but they made me question myself and brainwashed me into believing I had a mental illness. I was being medicated, so I must have had something wrong with me right, no, wrong. Their greedy profit driven business model is the problem.

They are the problem.

[Matchy69]

Hi sleepy I wasn't sure if was getting the kids today as my ex was going to drop them off on the way into town shopping but said she couldn't go as she had bills to pay so I ended up paying her bills and she went shopping so I got the kids.Then when she was out shopping she wanted me to transfer her more money so I did that.Everyone says I am to nice but I rather be nice then me that's how I am.Its really hard to get any sleep when I have the kids.My son always wants something.My son has been told he is low in vitamin D and something else with his blood test.He seems healthy enough.My daughter has been having problems with stomach pain for awhile now.She has had scans done.

Take care,

Mark.

[monkey_magic]

Hi Sleepy,

Just got your latest post.

I've become "aware".

I've become "awake"

I trust in myself.

I don't let them dictate what I do or do not have.

Too many people have been screwed over. Too many vulnerable people. I've heard many stories.

And I've made my educated decision.

There's so many of us out there that know the truth.

Abuse of power is a real thing.

[Guest_1643]

Hi Monks I agree. Good on u for getting out of there. It has happened to many ppl

I admire ur independence and free thought. And u had some good ppl on ur side. My family unfortunately were very stigmatising about MH and mocked my "illness"