Thinking about death.... all the time...

[Guest_1643]

Hi all

I've been struggling for 3 weeks with suicidal thoughts

My new GP is amazing

He tells me to think of suicidal thoughts as a symptom maybe a solution

Could he be right?

Today he assigned someone to give me a call to check in on my safety. I don't think that will happen. I've not received the call.
Small things like this lead to rage, hurt and fear for me.

And so I am left to deal with the thoughts alone.

[Guest_1643]

Hey EM

the gardens sound really fun...

Could I ask please what is a women's health centre? I think that's sort of what I want but I'm learning about how to find it... thank you so so much

i'm sorry i'm struggling to articulate myself these days but i care so much and was uplifted beyond by the message - thank u

[Guest_1643]

hi Mark

thank u for helping me feel better and less horrible

I didn't sleep at all last night and couldn't get into my bed even as I felt huge anxiey and racing thoughts and knew i'd have nightmares...I did sleep a few hours on the couch which is good

I've turned off my phone for a bit to escape from calls but I'll turn it on soon...

I get nervous driving when I've had little sleep, have just been walking today and getting sunshine to hopefully remind my body to stay awake and alert and get back into rythms

Do u find movies triggering also? Seems a lot of ppl experience this...It was pretty frustrating overall as a movie as there was lots of unnceccessary themes of abuse.

[Guest_1643]

Hey Tayla

how are u doing today

did you get in a couple of good walks today?
I managed to walk which was good.
I also went to a coffee shop and had a latte - do u ever stop and do that? It was nice.

I'm feeling a bit upset still but I'm okay ... thank u for asking

[Hanna3]

Hi Sleepy,

Sorry you had a bad experience with the helpline, I've had that too when they were less than helpful. It's great you got outside and had a coffee - doing something "normal" like that is a great idea when you are feeling really low.

Do you have any appointments with anyone supportive like a doctor or psych Sleepy? Or are they all off during this week due to holidays?

Just wanted to let you know people here are checking up on you. I think you've been doing really well. Go easy on yourself. hugs.

[Guest_1643]

Hi Hanna

lovely to hear from u

thank u i am trying to do those normal things. It's very sunny 🙂 No appointments this week but booked in to the GP on 4 jan. My psychologist is also away.
There is actually a replacement GP i can see this week and will but he's pretty terrible... Nice guy but terrible with MH treatment. I am trying to get in to see a psychiatrist but have had difficulties. One referall was flat-out rejected and most aren't taking new patients.

I am taking a natural medecine to help sleep - it was working so good initially! now it is less effective...

[Guest_4643]

Hi Sleepy, I'm sorry I wasn't around when you needed someone, I feel bad. I must've been sleeping at the time.

Yes I just went for my 1st walk. Anything I can do?

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Sorry things are really challenging for you at the moment, Sleepy. Good on you for keeping reaching out, and doing the hard stuff anyway.

And you are ABSOLUTELY enough! Just as you are. I remember I quoted a poem in the uplifting words thread, about how we can look at a forest and we don't judge the trees if they're bent, we just accept that that's how they are (or some such), and we are all just as we are too. Messy? Imperfect? So what? You're amazing anyway x

I'm really glad you're here with us. And I hope the next experience is better for you if you need to call. It seems a few of us have had 'not so great' helpline chats, but they're not always that way. Promise! Big hugs, Katy

[Hanna3]

Hi Sleepy,

The other GP doesn't sound great if he/she isn't good with MH issues.. but if you are desperate, go... Can you have another outing tomorrow like you did today, even if it's just a cafe again, I think getting out helps...

Any nice movies you can watch tonight maybe? I'm going to watch Love Actually I think. I find a good movie can help when I'm feeling blah...

You are going through a rough time but things will look up, they always do, it's just hanging on during the tough times that's so hard. We're all cheering you on - good on you for ringing your Mum...

And Katy is right, if you do feel really lousy try the helpline again, the next person you get might be really good..

Meanwhile little Sam sends softest fluffiest puppy hugs to you oxoxoxo

[Delectable]

Sleepy, you may be eligible for a Telehealth psych appointment, the gp may help you with this as you need zoom and I know my gp rooms have a room for those without those facilities sr home...I believe you’re in a much bigger place then me so you maybe able to access a psych through community health, are there any community centres in your neighbourhood? Maybe women’s health but my experience with them has been more on a physical basis referring to sexual abuse, endometriosis etc but a capital city might be different. However your gp should be able to guide you to these places, I do know of some hospitals that have a free health clinic but it can take a few weeks to get in. Enjoy your walks and the sunshine.

[Matchy69]

Hi Sleepy it looks like a lot people really care for you on here and want help and support you through this difficult period you are going through.I have just woken up from an afternoon nap.I do get so tired these days and find myself falling asleep on the lounge while watching tv