Surviving: Being in a better place

[demonblaster]

Hi all 🙂
Thought this thread might be of use to talk about your stories if you like and where you're at now.
In a better place.

I have Bipolar, (BP) pretty sure all my life. Wasn't diagnosed, I approached them thinking I have this at age 46.
The ups (mania) are magic, ying and yang (opposites) evident with BP & in many other ways.
The downs, crippling. Still ..but I'm DETERMINED to beat them with time & effort and professional help.One of the psychiatrists said it can't be beaten, I say cause it maybe hasn't been done, doesn't mean it can't be.
Have come an incredibly long way so far.
Long way to go probs but HAS to be sooner rather than later, else this mother of a demon will get me, I live in fear of going under the line again which majority of the time the head goes South but looking back at those times knowing I got through & that it's not always like that helps.
SO many good times, happy times between.

The cycles have gone from Rapid cycling (4 or more a yr) to 8/10 a yr since the loss of my beloved partner of 28yrs to leukaemia.

My teens starting at 14yrs I attempted suicide 4 times.
You're in hell considering, contemplating & ultimately attempting suicide, we're going against our strongest basic instinct. Survival.

Wanted OUT, couldn't see anything but Black in my head, no light, no way out, no other choice, the depression beast had me engulfed as it does most of the time in cycles now too.
Rock bottom. The pits.

I've learnt a lot one thing is it doesn't stay this way.
Sleep's vital. We don't get a lot or quality when down, it affects how we feel usually in a negative way.
Life's so much harder when we're tired and exhausted, we see feel & react to things differently
That part of our brain that works at pulling us down, I think with everyone, not only mental illness or disorders

Self esteem rock bottom, still working at it, it's true we have to like/love ourselves works as a shield.
Great loving good parents lucky

If I'd known in suicide yrs I'd meet a beautiful loving partner and have so much love from family, friends and happiness between the downs, I wouldn't have attempted.

BP downs equate to heavy grieving alone without it on top.It slammed but now I'm looking back and Yes still hurts, always will but we owe it to ourselves to keep going. We don't know whats ahead and nothing stays the same.

I know that now.

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi 🦄,

good night...yeah maybe I'm tired...❤️..

✨✨✨.. I'm 👁👁 while 🤝🤝.. 👼👼angel wings..

❤️❤️❤️🤗🤗🤗

Grandy👼👩‍❤️‍👩..

[Peppermintbach]

Hi wonderful DB (and all),

I’m happy to see you had such fantastic company over the weekend 🙂 What lovely friends you have here with their gifts of conversation, laughter and understanding.

I’m also glad you’re gettjng more sleep. Hopefully that’s helping your body and mind repair a little...

Lots of mega soul hugs coming your way. You taught me well 🤗 🤗

Love,

Pepper xoxo

P.S. also thank you for the thoughtful posts on my thread. Gratefully received and feel honoured, thank you.

[demonblaster]

Always nice to see you dear Pepstar, hope you had good w/e, miss you and good on you taking time out

Yeah more sleep a bonus hate being exhausted like it does

Grandy hope you got a good sleep

Thanks for your cutey msg love em 👀💖

Catching up briefly with friend today lovely and affectionate love that, shes nice.

Good day lovely people yes Peps fantastic support lovely friends inc you xx

Good apprentice for mega souls lol 🤗🤗

[Ggrand]

Good Night Deebi,

Im always 👀 and always 🖐🖐 holding your hands, and always 👂👂.

👩‍❤️‍👩❤️👩‍❤️‍👩. ❤️big ❤️deeply.❤️.always, my special friend.

L&C

Grandy..

[demonblaster]

🤗💖😚

[Ggrand]

Deebi,🦄.

Thank you ❤️...

👂👂 👩‍❤️‍👩 👀 🐥

Grandy

Grandy..

[Peppermintbach]

Hi wonderful DB and all,

”Pepstar” always makes me smile and warms my heart. Thank you 🙂

Once again, I’m very happy to hear you’re getting more sleep.

Thank you, I had a busy weekend. How I wish we all had more time. Lol.

Pay day recently so I paid off my (somewhat expensive) phone bill. It was a satisfying feeling to be able to reduce the balance to $0 even though it felt like I was haemorrhaging money paying off that bill. Lol.

I might treat myself to a bouquet of flowers 🙂 I have my eye on a pair of shoes. They are really expensive though. Sigh. I can dream. Lol.

Anyway, big hug from my soul to yours. Hope you feel the friendship and affection.

Love,

Pepper xoxo

[demonblaster]

Glad you like Pepstar darls it suits you and the special meaning too ☺

Oh good going with your bill, yeah relief.

Shoes sound good, go on ..you deserve a treat 👠 is it those ones 😃

Have a really good day darl thanks for popping in 🤗 master-ette soul back atcha hun 😚

Grandy sweet lady, your always welcome. Always close by hun 👀👂⚘🌈💖🦄✨🎄

[Guest8901]

Hi Deebs. Just a quick one. Its so nice to hear you sounding much more like your normal self, and back to being very active on the forums again. You do such a grand job in supporting so many people here. I just want you to know how much you are appreciated by me and I know by scores of others here on the forums.

Amanda

[demonblaster]

Mandy 💖 ..lovely things you said... 🤗 thanks darlin ☺

Always good times with group of MH peeps amazing support workers f.nitely bbq food water supplied lift looked after well. Maccas today, was wet.

Everyones gelling. Making nice memories. Knew 3 from here before I got in the programme. Good times ..everyone likes it

Arm flared up again seems to be when there's no support.. man... been easing but still slams at times and in bed geez. Sometimes hugging too 😲 others times ok. Daghh hurts mainly between elbow and shoulder. Nassteeeey

Gently stretching daily, massaged fair bit today around neck 😨.. carefully 😰 worked through pain same with stretches pretty yikes. Doing neck strengthening exercises and heat packs atm the massage has made the muscles sore but ok. Kinda self physio

Gunna be a while. Pain knocks ya for a silly eh

Vacuumed no probs.. its workin out what stirs it

Not depressed not happy just am but ok. Coming back slowly

Starting to think which is good about how to get through. Workin on mindset which has sort of weakened probably didnt reinforce enough but thinking more... nah its stronger in some new ways so Good.

Yeah so workin on it. I like thinking and we cant figure it if we dont

Hopes for a good restful sleep and good state of mind people

Go easy 🙂