Surviving: Being in a better place

[demonblaster]

Hi all 🙂
Thought this thread might be of use to talk about your stories if you like and where you're at now.
In a better place.

I have Bipolar, (BP) pretty sure all my life. Wasn't diagnosed, I approached them thinking I have this at age 46.
The ups (mania) are magic, ying and yang (opposites) evident with BP & in many other ways.
The downs, crippling. Still ..but I'm DETERMINED to beat them with time & effort and professional help.One of the psychiatrists said it can't be beaten, I say cause it maybe hasn't been done, doesn't mean it can't be.
Have come an incredibly long way so far.
Long way to go probs but HAS to be sooner rather than later, else this mother of a demon will get me, I live in fear of going under the line again which majority of the time the head goes South but looking back at those times knowing I got through & that it's not always like that helps.
SO many good times, happy times between.

The cycles have gone from Rapid cycling (4 or more a yr) to 8/10 a yr since the loss of my beloved partner of 28yrs to leukaemia.

My teens starting at 14yrs I attempted suicide 4 times.
You're in hell considering, contemplating & ultimately attempting suicide, we're going against our strongest basic instinct. Survival.

Wanted OUT, couldn't see anything but Black in my head, no light, no way out, no other choice, the depression beast had me engulfed as it does most of the time in cycles now too.
Rock bottom. The pits.

I've learnt a lot one thing is it doesn't stay this way.
Sleep's vital. We don't get a lot or quality when down, it affects how we feel usually in a negative way.
Life's so much harder when we're tired and exhausted, we see feel & react to things differently
That part of our brain that works at pulling us down, I think with everyone, not only mental illness or disorders

Self esteem rock bottom, still working at it, it's true we have to like/love ourselves works as a shield.
Great loving good parents lucky

If I'd known in suicide yrs I'd meet a beautiful loving partner and have so much love from family, friends and happiness between the downs, I wouldn't have attempted.

BP downs equate to heavy grieving alone without it on top.It slammed but now I'm looking back and Yes still hurts, always will but we owe it to ourselves to keep going. We don't know whats ahead and nothing stays the same.

I know that now.

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi,

You deserve beautiful things said to you, Deebi, .....as well as your other lovely supporters...

Oh Deebi, im so pleased you're nearly back...You'll get there..

Deebi, I think that most of us makes boo 😒 boos, when we're down and hurting..Words can be more powerful that anything we can imagine, and unintentionally putting down the wrong words can send a person into a deep place worse then hell...I'm 🙇‍♀️ sorry Deebi...... I can relate to being so deep inside our selves that even the next minute is hard to get through and appointments, shopping, busing etc are near impossible to attend..


Deebi, Your so right about people's coping tools are different from others...I can like you do fantasy, muck around and at times support others only because I'm helping me at the same time...but when I'm hurting to the depth of a deep dark blackness, I cannot talk/post much at all....I find in saying that I write my posts mostly in notes when I'm hurting, sometimes to write a post it takes hours, going back constantly, maybe a few words then out of their again...and..again....We are all different sweetheart....and we all do what's best for us to heal, if cocooning helps you honey, that's okay as well..but just too long.😁🌹, with at least a quick post saying your okay...Oh please don't feel guilty about not getting posts out...We all understand and have all done the same...., that's the .beasty, doing that Deebi, not you at all..so please don't ever feel guilty..


Awe you don't need to answer my post..I just thought maybe my post (i was really going to delete it)..on mindset would help you.in getting some of your confidence back to post a little, I dislike seeing you limit yourself because you loose your confidence... You really are magically 🦄 awesome..

Deebi, I'm thinking that starwolf would be looking in on you every so often.. 🌹💜🤗.l



Please be okay Deebi..💜👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩. ...


👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🌹Grandy🦄👼...hugs 🤗🤗🤗..

[Ggrand]

Oops..Deebi, I meant to say just NOT to long.😁🌹....missing out on a word totally changed what I meant to say.🤦‍♀️..

[Ggrand]

Good Morning,Deebi,


R U OK?..

I'm hoping your okay, special lady.., I hope you had a good quality sleep last night...I slept a good 5 hours without waking up..Sleep helps us Deebi, it's really important for our wellness..

I notice it's getting darker a little extra in the morning and the evenings are a little lighter, ..

I'm not sure if you have any outs today, but if you do I hope you have a really lovely time.....

I've brought you a deliously creamy hot chocooate 🍫, with a white frothy milk and shredded Tim tams on top. and for breakfast my special recipe of Tim tam flavoured pancakes....With some honey...I hope you enjoy them...

Im watching the beginning of a a new day while I'm talking to you...The beginning of our universes new day..and Deebi, the universe has given it to us,, you, me and everyone....The whole of the horizon is lit up with a beautiful reddish glow, it's really stunning today., no clouds just a brilliant red glow...We have a big frost today, so My doggies I won't let outside until I know their little feet won't freeze....

oh..oh..I'm wondering if you would like to kitten sit today...I found these two adorable little rascals asleep under the blankets on my lounge on the veranda...so cute...🐅🐆....

Are you looking after yourself, Deebi, are you excersising your archillies, and doing Gentle stretches for your back and neck.. Apprentice Nursing 👩‍⚕️assistant Grandy is looking after her dear friend, whom she loves very much...

I'm hoping your day is a good day Deebi, as well as everyone's day today...

Sending you my love, care and of course big hugs..thinking of you sweet Deebi...

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🌹Grandy..🦄👼...

[demonblaster]

Hey Grandy Peps Mandy and other lovely caring people.

I'm ok hun thanks. Just popping in to let you know and not to worry. Thank you 💗

Just stepping back for a while to digest some things and still needing a lot more sleep, these really take it out of me and yes last night was a much better sleep, very happy you got some too 👍 It took a long time to come down and when I did it was full exhaustion which in itself takes a while to catch up. Manias hold us up for extroadinary lengths of time don't they. Dozing last night and a friend rang for the 3rd time which woke me, texted but didnt ph talk. Usually people first.

Sounds glorious where you are so glad you have that and beautiful hearing it.

I'm slowly coming back. Saw psych (new) yesterday she's very good. Didnt out last night.

Yes I've done a couple of archilles excercises.

😄 Awe look at the cutey unusual 😁 looking kittys aren't they superb. You're magic Grandy thank you.. for everything. Your understanding support and friendship means the world 🌹

You're an excellent assistant nurse you have all the goods happening.

Glad you didn't delete that post I really appreciated it. Made a lot of good sense. (Truth)

Thank you for everything, now concentrate on you. When you're feeling low remember your amazing sunrise/sets. I'll bring a cinnamon cake for our blanky star gazing.

Yes it is lighter I've noticed too, struth the other night I threw blankies off 😲 mid winter..what!

No outs for the next couple so more recooping.

U always B OK please.

Love you 💜💗🕊

.

[Ggrand]

Dearest Sweetest Deebi,

t's nice to hear that your ok..but ok is not like being good.😁..You say don't worry, sorry those words are falling on deaf ears, I worry about you each day..but that what friends are about...

Yes mania is good, very good aye... but it's the after effect that always comes after that is really hard to cope with.., I've been down for so long now and seems now that I'm mixing north and south poles together, it's never ending for nearly 2 months.. Better sleep last night helped me, I hope it helped you as well....

I'm so happy that your psych is good for you...I hope she can help you heal, and show you some coping tools.. That's good, I think,🤔 that you didn't go out last night..means earlier nights, although phone call waking you..sorry about that but as you said people first.....You really a beautiful person Saying that.😚..

I'm so happy your coming back slowly, I am also well I hope so..better today a few normals/ups then downs then normal again...I'm on the forums trying to help me. by distracting my thinking...I'm thinking mixed atm...I'm giving you some fire 🔥 Sweetheart and some 💨wind to fan it..Woooaaah, well get beasty yet...

Thanks for taking care of the puddy tats, I hope they kept you distracted. 🐅🐆..that's 2 little kittens looking into the pond and they saw their strength and confidence through their reflection..

I'm pleased you liked the post I done, I researched then tried to learn revised, but when I re read it I thought it made no sense....but thought to post for you anyway..just in case, sometimes everything is hard to understand..

I will and you do the same as well please honey, please concentrate on you getting well...it's been a while this time for you and hoping so much that your happies come to you soon.... Deebi, do you think it's you coming off meds making it longer and harder to get to normal?

Get plenty of sleeps and rest now over the next couple of days, please..and you also be okay always...love you 💜👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..

Ohhh...I almost forgot..your third 🎁 present is nearly ready...But in the mean time..here is a happy bamboo plant..🎍..It's in a magical pot...when your sad and you touch the plant, some of your 😭 goes into the bamboo, down into the pot and then some happies go up the bamboo and into your 🤚 and into you thoughts...

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩💜Grandy..xxx🦄👼...big hugs 🤗 ..for all who visit our wonderful Deebi....

[demonblaster]

You're quality Grandy, one day you'll know that. You're in my thoughts a lot (( with love ))

Headache darghh
Getting there dear Grandy, not good yet but close and not bad. Thank you lovely
Tried to sleep didn't happen. Felt like a small or beginning of mania, bit too happy & mind was too chatty (good wording) breathed a few slow and deep to woo back the adrenalin. Not bad now and internal speak keeping it down. We'll see. Need to recover before any more but if it is, it is.

No lovely it's rare but I didn't talk to friend but did text her. Wasn't overly down just not up to a call.

Liking the bamboo plant thankyou my Grandy. I pictured holding on to a stem, might try that as a meditation in downs. Something about bamboo isn't there it's looks lovely. Earthy in a clean smooth way and it's knuckles spaced nicely. Got character

Um... cooeee ...Just you hold it right there lassy and hand those baby puddy tats back ..yes both of them. Got it. Roight we're sorted.
Alright you can touch them 🙂 Go on you hold one too, we can share them

Been good listening here, and the odd post. Been thinking and doing some things. Cooked twice today, another Pumpkin soup OH NICE and thick (blended) and healthy lunch. Elle McPherson.. she'll be jealous soon but what can ya do

Possibly going off the last pill but not really thinking so or if so mildly maybe, it's all pretty standard and it is a long one. Wow you poor thing so glad you're starting to come good too.

Tim Tam pancakes, mmm anythings worth a try. Not the honey thanks honey 🙂 Oh ...OH .... how bout Golden syrup...ohhh salivating. OR ohh Rasberry jam.

Arghh heads dragging me

ALways deeper love/smiles/laughs with you, ya got me at Doolsy with the head bang, how's the wall LOL you're a classic Grandy, thanks for coming in. Love you so much (( xx )) Heart.

[startingnew]

DB xoxoxox

[Peppermintbach]

Hi DB and all,

I think it’s good that you’re taking your time with posts and focusing on resting and recharging. You’re sounding a little more like yourself, which I think is a good sign...

I’m happy to hear you’ve been getting more sleep as I know that can make such an enormous difference...

Super soul hugs and love,

Pepper xoxo

[Ggrand]

Good morning Sweet Deebi,

Im just popping in to wish you a beautiful day today..and hoping so much that your headache has choofed of overnight.... I hope puddy tats didn't keep you awake...havevyou named them yet?

Oh Deebi, I'm so really sorry I'm not sure if you have for a long time or just done recently and I've been not looking. but want to say it anyway "Well done on becoming a blue voice member"..🤗💜🌹..

I looked toward the coastal areas and when I looked in one particle spot I saw a beautiful golden glow in the horizon that looked absolutely beautiful...I didn't know what it was, then I realised thats it's your beautiful golden soul shining for us all to see...love you special lady...💜🌹.

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🌹Grandy🦄👼..

[demonblaster]

Hi and thanks Peps Grandy and Starts 🤗😚

Took 5 meds to shoo headache so slept them off. Gone phew

Thanks Peps yes I'll get back just not sure when. 🤗

Grandy hey 🤗 thanks b.voices not sure if I can access from here. See in time.

Oh aren't they adorable our widdle kittys. I'll name one and you name one Grandy. What colours yours, mines light Goldy

What a beautiful lady you are. Thank you 🤗

Hope you all had better days today ☺

I spose it'll be an adjustment coming off meds G that Ive been on for several yrs. Goung ok not yehaa but ok.

Love you too Grandy 💜💑🌹