Surviving: Being in a better place

[demonblaster]

Hi all 🙂
Thought this thread might be of use to talk about your stories if you like and where you're at now.
In a better place.

I have Bipolar, (BP) pretty sure all my life. Wasn't diagnosed, I approached them thinking I have this at age 46.
The ups (mania) are magic, ying and yang (opposites) evident with BP & in many other ways.
The downs, crippling. Still ..but I'm DETERMINED to beat them with time & effort and professional help.One of the psychiatrists said it can't be beaten, I say cause it maybe hasn't been done, doesn't mean it can't be.
Have come an incredibly long way so far.
Long way to go probs but HAS to be sooner rather than later, else this mother of a demon will get me, I live in fear of going under the line again which majority of the time the head goes South but looking back at those times knowing I got through & that it's not always like that helps.
SO many good times, happy times between.

The cycles have gone from Rapid cycling (4 or more a yr) to 8/10 a yr since the loss of my beloved partner of 28yrs to leukaemia.

My teens starting at 14yrs I attempted suicide 4 times.
You're in hell considering, contemplating & ultimately attempting suicide, we're going against our strongest basic instinct. Survival.

Wanted OUT, couldn't see anything but Black in my head, no light, no way out, no other choice, the depression beast had me engulfed as it does most of the time in cycles now too.
Rock bottom. The pits.

I've learnt a lot one thing is it doesn't stay this way.
Sleep's vital. We don't get a lot or quality when down, it affects how we feel usually in a negative way.
Life's so much harder when we're tired and exhausted, we see feel & react to things differently
That part of our brain that works at pulling us down, I think with everyone, not only mental illness or disorders

Self esteem rock bottom, still working at it, it's true we have to like/love ourselves works as a shield.
Great loving good parents lucky

If I'd known in suicide yrs I'd meet a beautiful loving partner and have so much love from family, friends and happiness between the downs, I wouldn't have attempted.

BP downs equate to heavy grieving alone without it on top.It slammed but now I'm looking back and Yes still hurts, always will but we owe it to ourselves to keep going. We don't know whats ahead and nothing stays the same.

I know that now.

[Birdy77]

Deebi Deebi Deebs!

Gasp!!

I tawd I taw a bedthpwead!?! I did! I did! I did tee a bedthpwead! A 12.9 minute bedthpwead! 😃😃😃

🌻birdy

[demonblaster]

Hiya our dear Peppy ( oh just love that ) Ms Pepstar 😊
Thank you as always for dropping by and being such a lovely supportive friend and of course keeping the choccys up to date 😆 who me ..snoop around the stash ... oh no..wouldn't dream of it 😁
And how kind of you to replenish our basket 😚 I'm sure Grandy will welcome you with open arms cause she's such a warm loving sweety and we adore you so would love your company under our blanky and in front of the heater.
Yes it's good reconnecting with lovely friends and meeting new ones, it's easy to withdraw, for a few mths I was solid outs with friends after my darling passed including club and poker but then it all settled and I withdrew. So good being out and about again.
Thanks yeah Archiles seems to be settling, might hit tt next wk hopefully. Was sore yesterday still bit tender but coming good.
Hope you're doing ok lovely friend 🤗 superrrrrrr soulllllllllll take good care hun 🌴💗☘

Birdy oh hi tweety ...I sinks you did saw a bedthpwead ...yeah...you did... you did thee a bedthpwead and it.. it did ..only take 12.9 seconds 😲 to make...😎...pecially for my tweety 🤗😚

😆Thanks beautifuls 💗 hope youse are well ⚘

[Ggrand]

Hello Sweet Deebi,

I hope you enjoyed your lunch today with your friend...

Don't be sorry Deebi, it was my mistake...you've been looking forward to this bonfire 🔥 for a while..it should be a spectacular (wow I know big words)😁 Night, with heaps of memories to be made..Sitting around a bonfire 🔥 just looking at the fire is so relaxing...Can't wait for you, 😂🙃..I'm so excited for you....

Awe Peppy, darling I would love you to come...I would be so disappointed and upset 😢 if you didn't come..💜🌹...Good idea Peppy, it will stop Deebi from snooping around..🙃...

Deebi, How are you today? ...Your foot.👣..?.. I enjoy the game but unfortunately I'm uncomfortable with most of the other players😕..I'll keep going for a while..I'm really forcing myself..

I hope your okay my special friend, and I want to thank you 😊 🌹👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩. for just being the sweet, kind person you are..

Love you very much Deebi..💜🌹🤗...

good night special people reading 🤗🤗 hugs..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🌹 Grandy..

Birdy..Deebi makes the best blankly and bedspreads ever...and she is sooo quick💥. ...lol 🙃😁..

[demonblaster]

You're a gem 🤗💗 thank you sweety yes really love her we enjoy our time. Saw a lovely elderly friend from the bus so we all chatted for a while.

Thanks asking lovey foots easing was bit ouch yesterday so maybe tt in a week or 2. Only walked down town not back.

Not good not being comfy with the other players hopefully in time they'll thaw out with you. Was the nice lady there? So glad you're going. You had a big day today I'll check your last post.

I'm ok thanks Grandy and thank you for the lovely things you say. 😊 I keep thinking about your broach on the slipper 😍 so cute 🐧 sorry stuck on that one. You're lovely Grandy..thank you 🤗💗⚘💜💚🤝

Always take good care hun love you 💗🍃🕊

[Peppermintbach]

Hi DB and all,

I’m very happy to hear that you’re out and about again, and reconnecting with some of your offline friends. I think that’s fantastic 🙂

The pain in your foot sounds very uncomfortable and horrible yesterday. I too hope it settles so you can start playing tt again. I know you miss your tt and epic walks...

Oh thank you to you and Grandy for inviting me to your star gazing nights. That would be wonderful! Just as well that I mentioned replenishing the picnic basket to lovely Grandy.

Love and super souls hugs,

Pepstar xoxo

[demonblaster]

Peps ya darling Hiya and anyone reading ☺

Thanks lovey yeah it's good and nice being outta the house, too easy to stay in and coccoon.

Loven the telescope and extra yums in picnic basket, you're very kind our lovely friend. Be sure to dress warmly I might whip up a special 12.7 minute blanky for you too darlin, don't want you catching a cold under the stars.

Hope your days are good huns and some light getting in.

Thanks Pepstar our beautiful friend.

🤗☺🕊🐣🐧

[Ggrand]

Hello Special lady..

Good you walked one way only, that shows me your doing some very good self care 💚..isn't it nice to meet friends unexpectedly😺😊I'm happy that you had a good chat..

So very happy for you, that you might think in a couple of weeks..🏓..your foots getting better as well, your on a good roll honey, I hope you keep going up and forward..🔝🔛...

Its okay Deebi, I'll see how I go..yes nice lady was there, I made a cake and took it..They all had a slice and I told them to take it home who wants it, .They talk to each other easy, maybe later 🤷🏻‍♀️..

Oh no Deebi. , no peeping.🔍🔎 at all...it's going to be super duper special, because you super duper special.🙃 and it's going to made up with bits of your beautiful soul...Ha ha...my secret🤐....I won't make you wait to long.😆..I went for a walk around my small block.. was my young brothers birthday yesterday..I rang and we talked a little...He said he wants to come down late July, The person he is caring for wants to come as well..I can't wait to see my brother and his friend..I consider him my brother as well..Deebi, he hasn't got long to live..poor 😭 guy...I love 💚 him like a brother..

The broach 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 looks so cute on my slipper..some times when I'm really sad I will look at it and remember you gave it to me with love...💜🌹..Your the lovely one Deebi, you really are..My elderly friend is poping over this afternoon for a cuppa...I'm looking forward to that. Love her a lot...She will bring her little dog 🐶 so my two can play with her..they are family..I have her mum and sister..

Please you take good care of yourself sweetheart..I need you. I'm sorry I'm greedy but I just need you..you bring out my (can't think of the word). but you make me want to try, to get well 🌹.. Love you very much.💜🤗..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🌹Grandy..

take care Everyone..🤗..

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Peppy,

Thank you for those yummiest in the picnic basket...and watching the stars without you wouldn't be the same..Deebi is good now at finding special stars, she can point out to you some of our special ones....Your such a special and gentle friend Peppy , and you look after us so well....

I hope your day is a good one...How is your job going? I really hope you like it okay... Ummm..a special homecoming hug 🤗is waiting for you when you get 🏡 home..

Special gentle thoughts.

Grandy..

[demonblaster]

😊 As always what beautiful posts thank you Grandy floss

Walked today so just going to make sure its right before tt again. Been mths.

Oh that sounds so good your brother and his friend you're so close to coming down. Something to look forward to. What a shame the poor friend. That must be very hard for you all. Sad isn't it about his and your friend.

And your lovely friend coming for a cuppa, a know you'll enjoy that and the family of 🐶 playing how cute. And you did a walk, well done hun. So glad your bursitis settling. Read at yours. Good things goin on with you hun

I remember you said you'd bake a cake, nice of you. They'll come round eventually later, Hope so. Glad nice lady was there.

😅 so no peeky boos eh 👀 😀sounds lovely. You're so sweet. I cant imagine not having time with you Grandy you're in my thoughts often. You mean so much to me. Love you very much dear soul, you touch many souls including mine repeatedly 🕊😚💗💑🌹

Take good care of yourself too precious lady.

Oh not urgent but have to see GP bout blood test. So Thursday.

Lunch tomoz with beautiful friend and Sat with MH group.

Glad you've had some people activity the last 3 days

🤗

[Guest8901]

Hi there delightful Deebs. I've been following along on how you've been going. Just not posting too often .. sorry about that. Its not from lack of care, I assure you.

Pleased to hear that your achilles is slowly improving. I know how important it is for you to be able to do those epic walks of yours, hills included. And wont it be nice to be able to get back to your table tennis? Although I gather its more your neck and shoulder problem which has prevented you doing that, and not so much the foot. Speaking of which .. how is the shoulder/neck doing?

Love that picnic basket you keep getting replenished with all sorts of wonderful goodies by Pepper. And also its nice to see you being so social lately. I think its good for you.

I may be a little vague right now, and not understanding. Bit confused as to whether you are having a real life bonfire soon, or is it a virtual one here? I would love to come too if its here, and I'm not intruding. I love stars.

I have to go now, but I'm always keeping a watch over you. You're one of the very important ones here.

Amanda 💜