Surviving: Being in a better place

[demonblaster]

Hi all 🙂
Thought this thread might be of use to talk about your stories if you like and where you're at now.
In a better place.

I have Bipolar, (BP) pretty sure all my life. Wasn't diagnosed, I approached them thinking I have this at age 46.
The ups (mania) are magic, ying and yang (opposites) evident with BP & in many other ways.
The downs, crippling. Still ..but I'm DETERMINED to beat them with time & effort and professional help.One of the psychiatrists said it can't be beaten, I say cause it maybe hasn't been done, doesn't mean it can't be.
Have come an incredibly long way so far.
Long way to go probs but HAS to be sooner rather than later, else this mother of a demon will get me, I live in fear of going under the line again which majority of the time the head goes South but looking back at those times knowing I got through & that it's not always like that helps.
SO many good times, happy times between.

The cycles have gone from Rapid cycling (4 or more a yr) to 8/10 a yr since the loss of my beloved partner of 28yrs to leukaemia.

My teens starting at 14yrs I attempted suicide 4 times.
You're in hell considering, contemplating & ultimately attempting suicide, we're going against our strongest basic instinct. Survival.

Wanted OUT, couldn't see anything but Black in my head, no light, no way out, no other choice, the depression beast had me engulfed as it does most of the time in cycles now too.
Rock bottom. The pits.

I've learnt a lot one thing is it doesn't stay this way.
Sleep's vital. We don't get a lot or quality when down, it affects how we feel usually in a negative way.
Life's so much harder when we're tired and exhausted, we see feel & react to things differently
That part of our brain that works at pulling us down, I think with everyone, not only mental illness or disorders

Self esteem rock bottom, still working at it, it's true we have to like/love ourselves works as a shield.
Great loving good parents lucky

If I'd known in suicide yrs I'd meet a beautiful loving partner and have so much love from family, friends and happiness between the downs, I wouldn't have attempted.

BP downs equate to heavy grieving alone without it on top.It slammed but now I'm looking back and Yes still hurts, always will but we owe it to ourselves to keep going. We don't know whats ahead and nothing stays the same.

I know that now.

[Ggrand]

Hello Special Deebi,

Im okay 😌..I'll go back to mine soon..just needed a good 😭..

I did a walk this morning as well, Just be careful of your foot, and back, I say back because with a sore foot your probably walking a bit different which can cause some muscle back pain...I don't want you sick 🤒🤕..tt here you come...

My friend came, we had a pot of tea..some cake and a good chatter...Love her...She told me some things about the ladies I play 🎯 with..I told her we shouldn't gossip...🤣😂..ok I'm pleased we did..My friend has such a wonderful out look on life...The cake was yummy..They didn't say anything about if it was yum or not, but I know it was...

Oh Deebi, your gift 🎁 is still being made it's a custom piece one off. Not another one like it...Because theirs not another one like you..😚🌹...Deebi, love you very much..💚👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..You also take good care of you...I hope everything okay with you tests, Deebi....

Luch tomorrow..I'm so happy for you, your getting out with some lovely friends, that's precious enjoy your 🍴 lunch...

Please, be okay Deebi, always....I just need more sleep, I think..Take special care of you..🐶🙋🌂👛👠.

Love and care...xx

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🌹Grandy....

[demonblaster]

Ahh darl 🤗 let it all out. You can stay over you haven't for a while if you like. We can look at my little smatterin of stars and you can talk about anything at all. Here darlin, a nice 🍵hot choccy and 🍰🍫 then later we can have a Tia Maria 🍷. Kahluas my love but all that families nice. JD and Colas good too.

So glad you did a walk, you're doing so well Grandy. Patting you on your back 😀

Oh I'm a goose soz its Fri we're having lunch 😅 and Sat with group. I thought today was Thursday 🙄. Haha loven your gossiping about your 🎯 mob 😄She sounds lovely ☺ and that you love her so much how beautiful.

Thanks always for your kindness Grandy and concern, yes luckily backs been ok, I've not been doing the 6 hills, 4 but still a good walk but not much time. Still tiring. Oh off the fags. Buying the odd one here and there going fine though mostly.

Ok my dear friend I have to try and do things, read, art, tt stuff, more walking when foots better. Its goid seeing friends but still a lot of time. In mania things happen.

Ahaa so this pressy's sounding really nice, give us a clue 😁😂 c'mon you're allowed 😄

Watching neighbours. You don't watch much TV eh.

Hope your sleeps good tonight lovely one.

Love you lots darlin 💚💗💑🌹

[Peppermintbach]

Hi DB and all,

DB: All the best at your GP appointment. I hope that goes well.

Lunch with a friend today sounds nice. I hope you enjoy your meal and have a great time catching up 🙂

Thanks for the reminder. What a caring friend you are...I’ll be sure to rug up for star gazing. But you better stay warm too, our lovely friend.

Much love and many super soul hugs from me xoxo

Mandy: lol. Glad you appreciate my picnic basket efforts. Also an enormous and grateful thank you for the beautiful post you left on my thread.

Your warmth moved me especially as I have been feeling disconnected lately, which caring, sensitive Grandy picked up on xoxo

Grandy: you’re most welcome, you wonderful, compassionate soul 🙂 Thank you for inviting me to star gazing. DB sounds like a star expert. An astronomer? Is that the word? Lol.

Work is going okay. It has been a hectic week so a huge contrast to last week, which was a lot quieter. I usually have a relatively high degree of autonomy at work; I’m fortunate that no one is micromanaging me.

Although every now and then, I’m delegated work with minimal guidelines (and I mean really minimal as in 1-2 sentences of instructions). So that leaves a lot of room open to interpretation. Usually it’s okay but occasionally it means I end up having to re-do things, which is a frustrating. That happened yesterday....lol

I’ll replenish your picnic basket on your thread 😉

Hugs and hugs,

Pepstar xoxo

[demonblaster]

How lovely to see you dear Mandy 🤗and what beautiful things you said. Thank you darlin. I too have been folloeing your progress hun. You too are very important to me 💜💑

Thanks lovey yes it was my neck/shoulder mainly stopping me with tt and thank god thats settled, I'm being careful can take up to 8 mths I think healing. Archiles just recently. Glad it's settling yeah the walks are goid for body and mind.

Real bonfire coming up as well as the campfire too, it wouldnt be the same without you sweety you're automatically invited to anything 🤗 ditto Peps and our beautiful friends here. Was going to ask you if you'd like to do some fantasy wow blew me away what you said to Wolfy (he's really good isn't he too) about the flames in the fire. You're good chook, really good too 👍

😀 Aren't they gorgeous the picnic baskets from Peps, you're welcome to nibble too sweety. Oh and I did this just before I woke up for you 🎁...it's a 12.7 minute blanky for you too darling 😚 I covered the gaping holes with cutey pictures of 🐶 Charli ..annnd... a 🍫 but best not tell Peps cause I borrowed the choccy from her stash when she went to answer the phone ..te he..that I rang

Thank you calling in lovey. Concerned about you 🤗😚 always by your side 💗💜🌹

[demonblaster]

Heya our beautiful Pepstar alias Peppy (soo cute)

Thank you as always for your time lovely friend and care and OH YEAH refreshing picnic baskets wow wow, treats galore.

Sweety I don't know if I knitted you a 12.7 minute blanky, if not 🎁 and it's multicoloured annnd to cover your holes which there wouldn't be if I took my time and did them in 12.8 minutes, I put some pweddy ☘they came up well.

Thanks Peps I thought lunch was today its tomoz we try and catch up regularly it's great they moved back this area recently though I saw them a fair bit which was good.

So work keeping you busy lovey. I wonder at times how you're going with it. I reckon whatever you do you'd put your heart into it 💗 and they'd be happy and lucky to have you.

I've been concerned too about you lovey, really hope you're feeling more yourself and settled. Was going to post but thought I'd wait till you return.

Hope your days good huns. Here's a little something I swiped 😶 I mean borrowed 🍫 😁😄

🤗😚☘💗🌹

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi,

Deebi...Thank you for letting my stay over last night..🌷..Love the 🍵 hot choccie & 🍰🍫..with Tia Maria after with a chat, your kindness is so beautiful...Thats another reason why I love you 💜, you have so many good things about you Deebi, how lucky am I that I met you..🌹💜🤗..That's okay if you thought yesterday was Thursday 🙃😂...lol you had two Thursdays now....Today blood test results? I hope everything is okay.... 🤗....Friday lunch 🧀🥖is good, with your lovely friends...love that your going to try and do things, read, art? You should see my stick figures..😂, they look like squiggly lines.. I think you mentioned PlayStation 2 games..I have one packed away somewhere, i might try and find it sometime soon, it's out in my shed I think..What games do you like...I like dragon 🐉 games I have a couple somewhere....A little clue Deebi...um..okay...💡..🕯 ..🎎. 💌. 😂😇🙃..I hope that helps a little..L💜VE you very much beautiful lady..Deebi..

Peppy... Thank you for your gentle words, I'm please you'll come star gazing with us..Please look after yourself, I get concerned about you a bit..you look after us so much , and Ive got my very own 🔭 Now..I'm Please your doing okay at work, but don't stress over it and take time out for yourself always..💜🤗 may I give you another 🍀, for your collection..

Amanda..I hope your starting to pick up a little, remember your not your depression, your the opposite of what your depression says..

This is my third attempt..my fault I think , when I try to add something after I write it, like a full stop or space. for some reason a quote comes on and wipes my stuff out..I'm sitting on my front veranda watching some tiny birds fossicking for food...

Enjoy your day Everyone..🤗🌹💜...Live in today's time... not yesterday... or tomorrow,...ones gone...the others not here yet....but today is here and it's now..so enjoy it please.

Love and care, with caring hugs 🤗🤗.

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🌹Grandy..

[demonblaster]

Oh Dear Grandy always so lovely to chat with you 😀

Yes that's all things I must do but...doing is another thing again. In mania it's all automatic, energy, motivation, how to, it's all so easy but at least I walk I guess is a good thing. We started off on Crash Bandicoot, and similar loved them. We heard about Donkey Kong being good wanna get that one day and have enjoyed Mario brothers. Not nuts on the fighting ones too many buttons to use and I like shooting ones too. Got an Xbox too. Wanna play we spent hrs of fun on and off playing. Be sad without my darling working stuff out together and getting excited with achieves. Got a Dragon game here so remind me when you sleep over next 🤗 Spiro I think.

😅 I've not only confused myself but everyone lol. Soz. GP re blood results next Thurs. Lunch tomoz with lovely friend.. Sat with MH group lunch.

Birdies singing merrily. Sounds lovely watching yours fossicking Grandy.

Oh hear ya about losing posts esp when gremlins performing. Little beasties.

Hope you're feeling better today lovely and that you slept well after our 🤗💑🤝 tucking you in after a 💆‍♀️ our chats and 🍷nite cap. Easy time with you precious lady.

So that's my clue eh 🤔 hymmm, tricky ..need my 🎓 to suss that lot out.

You bring so much 🦄 + 🕊 +💡 L💜 VE U very much too beautiful soul.

Oh.. oh.. I've been foraging around the forest for wood for our campfire ♨️ I took my bag 👜 can't find my trolly, borrowed vroom vroom 🚜 loaded up on turbo Annie 🛴 so we're good. Ordered special 🦄 grass 🍃 ages ago, it's arrived. Oh and can't forget the🚪doors ready too with the special 🗝🔑 so getting close.

Everyones welcome 🤗

Good thoughts peeps. We've gotta jump in the drivers seat.

🐥

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi..🦄..

I need to sleep on a bed tonight, and your spare bed is so cloud like soft, I bought my new pillow and one for you as well.

I think I remember Deendy said she will pop in tonight.....Here she is....come on Deebi, climb up..hold tight..and away we go....Weeeeee, shut your your Deebi, put your arms out, look it feels like we're flying, I told Deendy, we need a nice peaceful little island 🏝.with lots of birds.. but first we need to pick up Peppy and Amanda...

Ok here we are Deebi, off we get everyone...don't forget to grab our blankets Deebi, Oh by the way, I croteched you a blanket, geez you made everyone one but not you, so I did, only mine took 3days and 12.7 minutes..Let's sit on our blankly and have our picnic basket Peppy left for us...look some yummy blueberry muffins and some apple cinnamon..hot chocolate, and some chips. and of course for dessert, a 🍫 ...Peppy makes the best picnic baskets..💜

Lol Amanda's feeding the birds, look at them all hundreds of then, teeny weeny birds 🐦 so many beautiful colours so tiny they can fly through one ear and out the other😂🤣..Peppy is giggling they are tickling her feet, they are flying through her toes...Deebi, you look so cute, they are playing hidings in your hair...I bet that's better then having your hair brushed, it must feel tingly..Oh Amanda, I bet that feels nice, the teeny weeny birds are landing all over your shoulders, Oh wait...I want to take a photo of our fun time..lol..You three look so happy....I'll have to put this photo in your lounge room when we get back.

Ok foods gone, let's all lay down and close our eyes, listen to the sound of music made by the birds...peaceful sounding...shhhh just listen..Light rain falling now onto the pond, birds chirping softly, wind blowing through the 🍃 leaves, the distant sound of the whales,🐳 all this as the sum warming your skin, everything together makes you all so very relaxed and trouble free, shh..listen to the orchestra of nature, rain, wind, birds, sun,the rippling of the pond....shhh...just close your eyes and listen....within a few minutes, your mind is filled with the serenity of the orchestra of nature, your Just to tired to stay awake,..I gentle cover you all and tuck you all in one by one with your special blankly ...your all now in a deep peaceful sleep...Sleep peacefully everyone...

Love you all...💜..🤗🌹

Deep heartfelt love Deebi..💜🤗💜

Good night everyone...xxx.

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🌹.Grandy.....

[Guest8901]

Oh Karen, you are a love. And you are so good at these fantasy tales. Thank you, I really needed that.

Its just about 10.30pm now and I think an early night is in store.

Sleep well Karen, Deebs, Pepper, StartingNew, Birdy, Tim and any other visitors to this thread. 💤

Looking forward to the bonfire or campfire Deebs. 🔥

Amanda 💜

[Peppermintbach]

Hi wonderful DB (and all),

I’m glad you sorted out the dates for your GP, lunch with your friend, etc. I suppose it just proves your popularity. Too many dates to remember...always in demand 😉

I’m delighted to hear you’re enjoying my picnic basket treats. Thank you so much for your beautiful message of love and support too.

I’m loving my special handmade blanket. 12.8 seconds to knit? Impressive! Especially the four leaf clover design on it...thanks DB

The forest adventure sounds exciting 🙂 You seem ready for it.

I better pack another picnic basket for us all. I was thinking maybe apple pie, blueberry muffins, assorted friands, bagels, strawberry jam doughnuts, choc chip cookies, thermos of tea/coffee/hot chocolate and of course choccie bars. I would rather just give some to you, DB, than have you near my stash. Lol.

Super soul hugs and much love xoxo

Grandy: lovely as always 🙂 Your beautiful reminder for me to take care of myself, and not stress too much at work made me smile. You’re such a caring friend. Thank you...

I’m very happy to hear you’re putting your new telescope to good use. Now you and DB both have one each for star gazing 🙂

This island trip sounds fun. It sounds like paradise...gentle, chirping birds and the distance sounds of whales. Paradise...maybe I’ll go for a swim. I hope to spot some dolphins 🙂

I hope you like the new picnic basket treats...

Love and care,

Pepper xoxo